the good wifes guide
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the good wifes guide
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03-14-2011 01:54 AM#1
scrapperscrubMember
Posts: 195Joined: Feb 2011
the good wifes guide
wtf2.gif
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
Be happy to see him.
Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.
Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
A good wife always knows her place.


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03-14-2011 02:03 AM#2
JayRodneyⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts: 30,963Joined: Feb 2011
RE: the good wifes guide
Quote:Be a little gay
Seems like most guys dig that dunno.gif

Quote:You have no right to question him.
rofl.gif

wonder.gif
03-14-2011 02:23 AM#3
yankeesskier
Posts: 6,198Joined: Feb 2011
RE: the good wifes guide
chuckle.gif
03-14-2011 09:56 AM#4
OctoMother Superior
Posts: 42,656Joined: Feb 2011
RE: the good wifes guide
I think I might be a bad wife 13.gifchuckle.gif
03-14-2011 02:55 PM#5
ShadowMrs. Buckwheat
Posts: 13,527Joined: Feb 2011
RE: the good wifes guide
Quote:offer to take off his shoes

Ummm. No. aaah2.gif
03-14-2011 03:49 PM#6
OctoMother Superior
Posts: 42,656Joined: Feb 2011
RE: the good wifes guide
Quote:his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
yes dear vic.gif
03-14-2011 05:10 PM#7
KreeperGriobhtha
Posts: 9,715Joined: Feb 2011
RE: the good wifes guide
It's not that his topics are more important. That is an illusion. It's that your topics are meaningless, trivial, psychobabble and his aren't.




aaah2.gif



chuckle.gif

İmage
And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
03-14-2011 05:24 PM#8
JayRodneyⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts: 30,963Joined: Feb 2011
RE: the good wifes guide
37.gif That was not me who posted this, just to let you know.

wonder.gif
03-14-2011 05:33 PM#9
KreeperGriobhtha
Posts: 9,715Joined: Feb 2011
RE: the good wifes guide
What the...


I would never post something like that...


I musta been hacked! Yeah, that's it! I was hacked and all they did was post that one, sick post! Damn them! Damn them to heck!



chuckle.gif

İmage
And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
03-14-2011 11:27 PM#10
JayRodneyⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts: 30,963Joined: Feb 2011
RE: the good wifes guide
37.gif Must have been what made the servers go down.

wonder.gif
03-15-2011 12:56 AM#11
scrapperscrubMember
Posts: 195Joined: Feb 2011
RE: the good wifes guide
I think seeing as how the roles are reversed in our house,(I work and kreeper stays home) then all these rules should apply to me,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,RIGHT OCTO??hi5.gif
sooo KREEPER............
TAKE OFF MY SHOES,
RUB MY NECK.
COOK MY DINNER.
QUIET DOWN THE KIDS,
BE HAPPY TO SEE ME,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, BUT MOST OF ALL,,,, NOW THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL THE RULES .....

GET OVER HERE AND SERVICE ME RIGHT NOW, AND YOU BETTER DO IT RIGHT OR NO ALLOWANCE MISTER!!!
rofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gif
03-15-2011 01:14 AM#12
OctoMother Superior
Posts: 42,656Joined: Feb 2011
RE: the good wifes guide
Ooo...I like it when you talk in CAPS hyper.gif rofl.gifrofl.gifwhip.gif
03-15-2011 01:15 AM#13
JayRodneyⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts: 30,963Joined: Feb 2011
RE: the good wifes guide
İmage Yeah, it's pretty ok. 37.gif

wonder.gif
03-15-2011 04:39 AM#14
scrapperscrubMember
Posts: 195Joined: Feb 2011
RE: the good wifes guide
lol.gif
03-15-2011 05:21 AM#15
CynicalabsurdanceMember
Posts: 7,207Joined: Feb 2011
RE: the good wifes guide
And remember

if your husband is anything like a GOOD husband,,,,

and you follow all the GOOD wife suggestions

your husband may be like i am::::

he will do whatever he can,,, to ignore the fact that you exist

he will never attempt to initiate a conversation with you

he will avoid long discussions with you

he will never ask you your opinion on anything whatsoever

he will sleep on the floor/couch/spare bedroom/ garage/ in his car
anywhere you are not sleeping

He will leave the house as you enter it,,, and will not enter it until you leave it.

He will remember his Dog's name,,, and,,, forget yours

he will wash his own cloths
his own dishes

clean up after himself
and screw his hand

just to avoid any contact or conversation with you
03-15-2011 10:10 AM#16
OctoMother Superior
Posts: 42,656Joined: Feb 2011
RE: the good wifes guide
he will also ask: Does my ass look big in this?

..scream.gif
wigglebutt.gif
03-15-2011 03:59 PM#17
KreeperGriobhtha
Posts: 9,715Joined: Feb 2011
RE: the good wifes guide
Huh?

What?


Hmmm, I thought someone was talking to me...


Never mind. Carry on.

İmage
And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
03-15-2011 04:07 PM#18
JayRodneyⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts: 30,963Joined: Feb 2011
RE: the good wifes guide
Quote:He will remember his Dog's name,,, and,,, forget yours

Whats even worse is if he calls his wife the dogs name in bed. rofl.gif

wonder.gif
03-15-2011 05:25 PM#19
Anonymous KritterIncognitoAnonymous
 
RE: the good wifes guide
chuckle.gif Oh yes lady, yes...rofl.gif
03-15-2011 08:20 PM#20
CynicalabsurdanceMember
Posts: 7,207Joined: Feb 2011
RE: the good wifes guide
(03-15-2011 04:07 PM)JayRodney Wrote:  
Quote:He will remember his Dog's name,,, and,,, forget yours

Whats even worse is if he calls his wife the dogs name in bed. rofl.gif

and,,,, Perhaps even worse then that,,,,

he may call his hands name when in bed with his Dog.
03-15-2011 08:28 PM#21
JayRodneyⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts: 30,963Joined: Feb 2011
RE: the good wifes guide
damned.gif Hand Solo.

wonder.gif
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