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A letter to a fellow passenger.
05-12-2015, 01:26 PM #1
The Survivor Truthtard
Posts:5,013 Threads:522 Joined:Sep 2012
Dear passenger 15A,

You do not know me but I was seated in front of you during the flight from Singapore to Sydney on April 12th.

What I had initially thought to be a routine flight turned out to be a once in a lifetime experience – and it was all because of you.

I am writing this letter to thank you personally.

Being the cheapskate that I am, I did not pay extra for a seat next to the emergency exit.

Though it offered more legroom, I couldn’t be bothered to read the special safety procedures. The last thing I would want is to compromise the lives of all the innocent passengers because I do not know how to open the airplane door.

Despite my common economy seat, you offered me a full back massage by repeatedly kicking the back of chair. To date, I have yet to regain full mobility of the lower half of my body. But since I am single, I suppose I don’t have much use for it anyway.

I did not pay for the in-flight entertainment package and I was worried that I might get bored. But my concerns were unnecessary. You were talking so loudly, as if your friend was seated in the cargo hold rather than right next to you.

Perhaps she’s hard of hearing? This might strike you as odd but for the first time in my life, I wished I had a hearing impairment too.

Also, could you tell me where you bought those obnoxious snacks? I assume that they must have been delicious cause you rip one open every 30 minutes.

Thanks for the loud rustling and chewing ambient sounds!

At this point, I thought, ‘It can’t get any better than this.’ But what I had meant as a rhetorical question, you took as a challenge.

For immediately, my nose was assaulted by a putrid smell of death and decay.

The stench was so strong that I turned to check if the old lady seated next to me was still breathing.

It was so nice of you to take off your shoes and put your feet between my seat and the plane window. It must have taken considerable effort – it was a small space but you stuck it as close to my face as you possibly could.

Your kindness moves me.

The sun is rising above the horizon; the sky is bleeding crimson and gold. But I cannot turn to gaze at this everyday miracle because every time I do, I smell the anus of Satan.

I had half the mind to pull down the oxygen mask above me. But then I remembered that I was flying on a budget airline, so I’d probably have to pay extra for that.

Did you know that you have made me a more religious person?

I have said more prayers in that eight-hour flight than I have in my entire life.

I was torn between asking God for strength to endure the rest of the journey and,

‘SWEET GUAN YIN MA [a Buddhist nun], TAKE ME HOME!’

This experience has been so memorable that I am writing this from my therapist’s office. I have also signed up for ten more sessions to talk about it.

Thank you once again.

Insincerely yours,

Passenger 14A

http://metro.co.uk/2015/05/12/this-woman...r-5192954/

facepalm_panda.gif

Life is like a penny, you can spend it on what you like, but you can ONLY spend it once.


https://twitter.com/NigelLondon2014

05-12-2015, 01:48 PM #2
White Ribbon call me
Posts:9,779 Threads:371 Joined:Apr 2013
pppfffftttttt...

i would have stabbed her feet with a pin..

the kitten smelling the feet gif on the link is very funny!!!!!
05-12-2015, 02:00 PM #3
Jr nli Incognito Anonymous
 
chuckle.gif that was kinda passive aggressive.
05-12-2015, 03:12 PM #4
The Survivor Truthtard
Posts:5,013 Threads:522 Joined:Sep 2012
(05-12-2015, 01:48 PM)the white ribbon Wrote:  pppfffftttttt...

i would have stabbed her feet with a pin..

the kitten smelling the feet gif on the link is very funny!!!!!

yup.gif

Life is like a penny, you can spend it on what you like, but you can ONLY spend it once.


https://twitter.com/NigelLondon2014

05-12-2015, 03:34 PM #5
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:43,017 Threads:1,474 Joined:Feb 2011
Eww chuckle.gif
05-12-2015, 03:48 PM #6
Shadow Mrs. Buckwheat
Posts:12,782 Threads:1,182 Joined:Feb 2011
The flight to Amsterdam, there was a fellow behind me who WOULD NOT SHUT UP. Blabbed loudly the entire trip. Fortunately Whaler put ear plugs in my bag. I offered a pair to the kid sitting next to me and he was so grateful LOL!
05-12-2015, 05:58 PM #7
US nli Incognito Anonymous
 
The last time I was on a plane, I murmured "We are crammed in like sardines".
05-12-2015, 06:03 PM #8
US nli Incognito Anonymous
 
(05-12-2015, 05:58 PM)US nli Wrote:  The last time I was on a plane, I murmured "We are crammed in like sardines".

...and the guy next to me and hubby (both big guys) both took over the armrests and I was squished.
05-12-2015, 06:09 PM #9
US nli Incognito Anonymous
 
(05-12-2015, 06:03 PM)US nli Wrote:  
(05-12-2015, 05:58 PM)US nli Wrote:  The last time I was on a plane, I murmured "We are crammed in like sardines".

...and the guy next to me and hubby (both big guys) both took over the armrests and I was squished.

I too had to wear earplugs during the whole flight.
05-13-2015, 01:47 AM #10
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:31,396 Threads:1,439 Joined:Feb 2011
The worst trip I ever had was on the way back from Amsterdam about 9 years ago. The plane dropped about a thousand feet in a second, people were crying and praying, I ordered a cognac and told 'em to keep it coming. chuckle.gif

wonder.gif
05-13-2015, 12:27 PM #11
DaJavoo If looks could kilt
Posts:1,861 Threads:45 Joined:Mar 2011
(05-13-2015, 01:47 AM)JayRodney Wrote:  The worst trip I ever had was on the way back from Amsterdam about 9 years ago. The plane dropped about a thousand feet in a second, people were crying and praying, I ordered a cognac and told 'em to keep it coming. chuckle.gif

Yeah, folks can acquire religion quickly on an abrupt descent.

I was in a small commuter once and the plane dropped straight down ~ the drink in my glass actually rose out of the glass and then went back down without a drop being spilled. (The attendant was pouring at the time.) I looked at the guy next to me with the damned.gif emote and we both tossed them down like shooters and held them out for a refill.

That was one bumpy flight. But hey, I've prolly flown a thousand times and have had hellacious flights, terrible take-offs and truly petrifying landings, but so far, the number of landings has always equalled the number of take-offs.

Usually, if there's an empty seat on the plane, you can request a seat change in-flight.
05-13-2015, 04:58 PM #12
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:10,784 Threads:647 Joined:Feb 2011
(05-13-2015, 12:27 PM)DaJavoo Wrote:  ... but so far, the number of landings has always equalled the number of take-offs.

They always will. The difference will be the stop. Gradual stop or sudden?

chuckle.gif

Politicians hide themselves away
They only started the war
Why should they go out to fight?
They leave that role to poor
05-13-2015, 05:46 PM #13
Shadow Mrs. Buckwheat
Posts:12,782 Threads:1,182 Joined:Feb 2011
chuckle.gif true

(05-12-2015, 06:09 PM)US nli Wrote:  
(05-12-2015, 06:03 PM)US nli Wrote:  
(05-12-2015, 05:58 PM)US nli Wrote:  The last time I was on a plane, I murmured "We are crammed in like sardines".

...and the guy next to me and hubby (both big guys) both took over the armrests and I was squished.

I too had to wear earplugs during the whole flight.

Oy, no wonder you don't like flying. The shuttle that goes between my town and Vancouver, it's wee, one seat either side of the aisle and you cannot stand up. I'm not fond of flying but it's sure a fast way to get somewhere.
05-13-2015, 05:51 PM #14
US nli Incognito Anonymous
 
(05-13-2015, 05:46 PM)Shadow Wrote:  chuckle.gif true

(05-12-2015, 06:09 PM)US nli Wrote:  
(05-12-2015, 06:03 PM)US nli Wrote:  
(05-12-2015, 05:58 PM)US nli Wrote:  The last time I was on a plane, I murmured "We are crammed in like sardines".

...and the guy next to me and hubby (both big guys) both took over the armrests and I was squished.

I too had to wear earplugs during the whole flight.

Oy, no wonder you don't like flying. The shuttle that goes between my town and Vancouver, it's wee, one seat either side of the aisle and you cannot stand up. I'm not fond of flying but it's sure a fast way to get somewhere.

When you say shuttle, do you mean small shuttle plane?

Yeah, I told hubby that I will only fly for no more than 2.5-3 hours tops, because I am so uncomfortable. I also told him that when we retire (when? cool.gif) that we will have more time to travel by car/RV (whatever) and be more comfy and have a more leisurely road trips. Though, he wants to go back to Florida next Winter.
05-13-2015, 06:03 PM #15
Shadow Mrs. Buckwheat
Posts:12,782 Threads:1,182 Joined:Feb 2011
(05-13-2015, 05:51 PM)US nli Wrote:  When you say shuttle, do you mean small shuttle plane?

Yeah, I told hubby that I will only fly for no more than 2.5-3 hours tops, because I am so uncomfortable. I also told him that when we retire (when? cool.gif) that we will have more time to travel by car/RV (whatever) and be more comfy and have a more leisurely road trips. Though, he wants to go back to Florida next Winter.

Yes the plane, it's a Dash 7 I believe. But I call it the thunder chicken.

Leisure time and a motorhome is an awesome way to travel beercheer.gif



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