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A messed up childhood. Update.
11-29-2014, 03:28 AM #1
The Survivor Truthtard
Posts:5,013 Threads:522 Joined:Sep 2012
Well as some of you know I touched on a subject of abuse recently and promised to tell all here, so here goes.

This is not an easy thing to talk about but due to certain events recently I feel I am able to share this with you guys.

I cut short my "bugout" and returned to London for this.

It all goes back to 1972. I was a battered child and was taken out of the care of my parents and made what was then called a 'ward of court' under a section 1 care order. This meant I was taken into protective custody of my local social services.

I was sent to a place far away from my home to a residential school with 48 boys that were also under the care of the social services.

I was supposed to be under their care! But what a lie that would turn out to be.

I was at the time just 8 years old.

Within a few days I became the interest of the senior housemaster who was also the deputy headmaster. Unfortunately it was not the interest of a caring man who was only interested in my well being, no, no. This person turned out to be a sexual predator who had a liking for little boys!

I was seriously sexually abused by him for the next 4 years until the day I left at the age of 12! I was abused on a regular basis sometimes me alone sometimes with other boys!

On 2 occasions I reported this matter at the time. Once to the headmaster who subsequently gave me a sever beating for as he put it "seeking attention and telling wicked lies"! The second time I reported the abuse was to the social services, who did not believe anything I said and dismissed the report in an instant! The only thing they did was to make a record of my lies.

Late last year a complaint was made to the police about this pervert and an investigation was started.During that investigation my name came up along with the report of my lies that was held by social services. So the police started to try and find me. I was not that easy to find and it took them almost a year to get an e-mail address for me.

So not so long ago I get this e-mail from the police asking me to contact them as a matter of urgency. I did not immediately contact them as I thought it was some bulllshit scam or the like. But eventually I did reply that e-mail and opened a nightmare that I have been trying to put behind me for the best part of 40 years!

I came back to London in order to meet with the police and give my statement to them. Not an easy thing to do. After giving them my statement I thought that would be it. But no, they questioned me about everything. They wanted to know all the details exactly. Shite, I had to relive that abuse down to the last detail! Well the interviews with the police went on for a couple of days and finally I was done. The experience has left me scarred and mentally not well!

The police have a trial date set for March of next year which means I am gonna be going through hell mentally at least till then!

There was a trial before in may of this year but that resulted in a 'hung jury'. Now there will be this new trial with me as the key to it all and the police say they are sure of a conviction this time round. I for one bloody well hope so.

Well that's what I have had happen to me and what I am going through right now. Octo has been given a link to the case from me but I can not put that here at this time. I will once the trial has been completed give you a link to the case.

What I do ask is that if you can please send me some good vibes or whatever to hep me through this as I am not well mentally from this, the stress is a biatch!

Life is like a penny, you can spend it on what you like, but you can ONLY spend it once.


https://twitter.com/NigelLondon2014

11-29-2014, 03:55 AM #2
Accidental Stoner Member
Posts:9,036 Threads:74 Joined:Feb 2011
Damn, man.

Sad to hear you had/have to go through all that.

But couldn't it at the same time be a great opportunity
to process and get rid of lingering trauma..?

Sending all the good vibes I can muster!

puffpuffpass.gif
11-29-2014, 03:58 AM #3
The Survivor Truthtard
Posts:5,013 Threads:522 Joined:Sep 2012
(11-29-2014, 03:55 AM)Accidental Stoner Wrote:  Damn, man.

Sad to hear you had/have to go through all that.

But couldn't it at the same time be a great opportunity
to process and get rid of lingering trauma..?

Sending all the good vibes I can muster!

puffpuffpass.gif

That is the only reason I agreed to have the interviews with the police. I certainly hope so coz this has been a burden I have been carrying with me for a long time.

Thanks for the good vibes.

puffpuffpass.gif

Life is like a penny, you can spend it on what you like, but you can ONLY spend it once.


https://twitter.com/NigelLondon2014

11-29-2014, 04:03 AM #4
Shadow Mrs. Buckwheat
Posts:12,775 Threads:1,181 Joined:Feb 2011
Aw jeez gaah.gif sad2.gif after all you went through last year. No wonder you want to leave society. I hope they put the scum away forever, just too bad they never believed you to begin with, might have saved more boys. Very brave of you to stand up as an 8 year old.

Thanks for sharing hug.gif hug.gif and all the good vibes I can gather up to send your way.
11-29-2014, 04:09 AM #5
The Survivor Truthtard
Posts:5,013 Threads:522 Joined:Sep 2012
(11-29-2014, 04:03 AM)Shadow Wrote:  Aw jeez gaah.gif sad2.gif after all you went through last year. No wonder you want to leave society. I hope they put the scum away forever, just too bad they never believed you to begin with, might have saved more boys. Very brave of you to stand up as an 8 year old.

Thanks for sharing hug.gif hug.gif and all the good vibes I can gather up to send your way.

That is one of the reasons I left this country a long time ago and set off on my travels eventually settling in Morocco. No faith in this society here . Also the a reason as to why I am living in my 'bugout' in Scotland off the grid and away from society. Thanks for the vibes Shadow.

hug.gif

Life is like a penny, you can spend it on what you like, but you can ONLY spend it once.


https://twitter.com/NigelLondon2014

11-29-2014, 04:09 AM #6
Accidental Stoner Member
Posts:9,036 Threads:74 Joined:Feb 2011
I finally managed to untie a few 40+ year old knots inside, myself,
last winter when everything crashed and went into open life-crisis
mode for me.

Hurt as f**k, but did me a world of good, really.
Hurt the ego too, that I needed almost 50 years to understand
some rather simple things about myself...

Oh well, you live and you learn.
11-29-2014, 04:13 AM #7
Shadow Mrs. Buckwheat
Posts:12,775 Threads:1,181 Joined:Feb 2011
(11-29-2014, 03:55 AM)Accidental Stoner Wrote:  But couldn't it at the same time be a great opportunity
to process and get rid of lingering trauma..?

Thoughtful post AS hug.gif I hope it's so. You had a harsh year too sad2.gif
11-29-2014, 04:51 AM #8
DaJavoo If looks could kilt
Posts:1,865 Threads:45 Joined:Mar 2011
Justice delayed is preferable to justice denied, Nodoom. Hang tough until the closure arrives, gain perspective and just think of this as scar removal rather than a fresh wound.

Shalom, friend.
11-29-2014, 04:54 AM #9
Accidental Stoner Member
Posts:9,036 Threads:74 Joined:Feb 2011
Was a couple of uphill years, yes.
Quite a handful of heavy goodbyes.

But it's over now, I'm starting to feel
creative again...and much more solid
inside. Good to finally understand
one's own negative behaviour patterns,
so one gets a fair chance to eliminate
them. I feel like a better man now! :)
I can be a resource to my friends and
loved ones again, instead of a burden.

hug.gif , Shadow! 12.gif

I hope and trust NODOOM will come
out of his ordeal stronger than before.
11-29-2014, 04:56 AM #10
Ruby Wolf Member
Posts:10,786 Threads:721 Joined:Oct 2012
Around eighty percent of those imprisoned were raised in broken homes and thats the sad and shocking truth and we dont try to face and cure this venomous family disease we just hurl the inflicted people into steel cages so far out of sight and mind while robotically continuing our unbroken chain of misery and decay walking around half asleep trapped and lost in a greed driven trance enslaved towards nothing and into nowhere...
failboat Show this Post
11-29-2014, 11:23 AM #11
failboat Incognito Anonymous
 
i feel sorry for you nodoom.

you should make a therapy. i know this sounds retarded but it really helps.

at least it would help you more than self medication and leaving society because what you do is basically just treating the symptoms without going to the source of your problem. it's a quick relief - or a chain of quick reliefs - but won't lead to a final state of freedom where your memories - which are cut off from your self by defense mechanisms - stop haunting you from your unconscious mind. :/
11-29-2014, 12:07 PM #12
White Ribbon call me
Posts:9,779 Threads:371 Joined:Apr 2013
i will send you some serious strong cleansing energy.. you are doing the right thing, as stressful as it is, it will be very healing.. therapy is what helped me too in my abuse.. even just telling the cops all that is going to give you a big release of all those emotions and feelings and pain..

blessings, love, peace and big hugs to you..

*hands in prayer pose*
failboat Show this Post
11-29-2014, 12:35 PM #13
failboat Incognito Anonymous
 
(11-29-2014, 12:07 PM)the white ribbon Wrote:  i will send you some serious strong cleansing energy.. you are doing the right thing, as stressful as it is, it will be very healing.. therapy is what helped me too in my abuse.. even just telling the cops all that is going to give you a big release of all those emotions and feelings and pain..

blessings, love, peace and big hugs to you..

*hands in prayer pose*

well... actually telling the cops the stuff usually retraumatizes the victim because they want to know everything in hardcore detail while the victim isn't psychologically prepared to mentally relive the events that led to the trauma... :/
11-29-2014, 12:51 PM #14
White Ribbon call me
Posts:9,779 Threads:371 Joined:Apr 2013
yeah i know, thats why he is head ƒükkêd from it, the release that will go along with it will be huge, is more what i meant..

13.gif
11-29-2014, 01:09 PM #15
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:31,585 Threads:1,443 Joined:Feb 2011
So good you posses the strength and courage shed some light on this dark episode. People who violate children under the guise of helping them are among the absolute worst predators, and they should get some "quality time" behind bars to contemplate their choices.
The longer the better.
What was done to you is horrendous, and something that is not easily forgotten - it takes a lot of courage to open up an old wound on this level... publicly, and I hope may be the start of a healing process.
It's all worth it, if for no other reason other than to make certain this is never repeated again to anyone else. Bless you NODOOM, you are doing the right thing. Hang in there, fight the good fight, and do everything you can to put that pedophile scum behind bars.

wonder.gif



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