A wasted life

08-09-2015, 06:53 AM

Me and my girlfriend was talking, and she asks me why I don't have anything in my life going for me.
I told her that its a long, hard story loaded with cold hard truths, and gold standards, that cannot be changed, and cannot be bent by one's ideology or attitude or desire to be more positive... so do you want to shut the fuck up and hear it or not ?
She says, go ahead I'm listening.

So I proceeded to say...
Because I didn't earn any better.
Nothing I did throughout my life earned me any better than what I have, now.

I have not followed anybody's rules.
I have done what I wanted to do my whole life.
I have done what I gave myself a badge to think is right, and not necessarily followed any proper method or procedures.

I made myself the boss my whole life.
I'm a very violent, abusive person.

I am 30 years old, and nobody will deal with me.

I have recently tried again to help myself... and again... I receive just more bad records.

Its over, that's it.... the show is over.

They are onto the youth of America who they can help and I get the shaft, and a barrier towards even beginning to do any better.... that I earned.
Society just wont have anything to do with me anymore..

And there is BUT nothing.... that's our society, and in our society... the game is over for me.
They're onto the young who they can help.

I told her that you can be with me, or get rid of me too... but you can't help me..
Nobody can... not even Myself now.

And that's the way it is.

Then I told her this too..

Now we can either deal with what is, or we can sit here and argue until the cows come home, and have achieved nothing.

Sometimes the truth isn't what we want to hear... and Americans seem to think life is a bed roses where endless opportunity exists.. and don't want to hear the truth.
Well guess what ? that's not life works.

The cold ugly truth is... its all over, and I win or lose depending on what my goals are and my attitude is.

If I wanted to be a successful person, I lost royally.
And If I'm somebody who wanted permanent mediocrity and despair and poverty in my life, well I won royally.
That's the cold truth.

She says "but you're disabled"... so I told her that I know that I'm disabled... but that doesn't mean shit.

I'm entitled to $193 a month SSI.
But I need to earn better... and now I can't because nobody will deal with me.

Now do you want to understand or not ?

She says "I'm sorry about your predicament" so I said...

So am I.

08-09-2015, 07:09 AM

I have a whole collection of books in my closet.

Want to know what they'll do for me if I read them from cover to cover 1,000 times ?

Not a thing.

**Cynicalabsurdance** · 08-09-2015, 08:22 AM

what's a Book ?

**JayRodney** · 08-09-2015, 01:49 PM

I'm sorry to hear about all that as well. If I could help you, I certainly would, but this is outta' my hands.

**DaJavoo** · 08-09-2015, 01:51 PM

Pull your head out of your navel and stop thinking sunshine flies out your ass by day and rainbows by night. (iow: Lose the arrogance ~ it screams through each post/thread you make.)

Life's about choices and once we're wearing the big boy pants we own all our choices.

A relaxed mental attitude is about choices.

Happiness is a CHOICE, not an outcome. It does not depend on external conditions ~ whatever they may be.

It's obvious you're not a total loser if you have a woman that keeps your company. Quit treating her like shit on your shoe heel and realize the redemptive qualities she must see in you.

**Octo** · 08-09-2015, 02:12 PM

Well said, DaJ.

You'll be a victim as long as you see yourself as such. Sounds like you're proud of the fact you're violent and abusive.

08-10-2015, 01:27 AM

I have ADHD myself. Nobody wants to deal with me either.

**Octo** · 08-10-2015, 01:31 AM

I have a couple of friends with adhd, they're perfectly nice people

08-10-2015, 01:46 AM

(08-09-2015, 06:53 AM)BlueJay Wrote: Me and my girlfriend was talking, and she asks me why I don't have anything in my life going for me.
I told her that its a long, hard story loaded with cold hard truths, and gold standards, that cannot be changed, and cannot be bent by one's ideology or attitude or desire to be more positive... so do you want to shut the fuck up and hear it or not ?
She says, go ahead I'm listening.

So I proceeded to say...
Because I didn't earn any better.
Nothing I did throughout my life earned me any better than what I have, now.

I have not followed anybody's rules.
I have done what I wanted to do my whole life.
I have done what I gave myself a badge to think is right, and not necessarily followed any proper method or procedures.

I made myself the boss my whole life.
I'm a very violent, abusive person.

I am 30 years old, and nobody will deal with me.

I have recently tried again to help myself... and again... I receive just more bad records.

Its over, that's it.... the show is over.

They are onto the youth of America who they can help and I get the shaft, and a barrier towards even beginning to do any better.... that I earned.
Society just wont have anything to do with me anymore..

And there is BUT nothing.... that's our society, and in our society... the game is over for me.
They're onto the young who they can help.

I told her that you can be with me, or get rid of me too... but you can't help me..
Nobody can... not even Myself now.

And that's the way it is.

Then I told her this too..

Now we can either deal with what is, or we can sit here and argue until the cows come home, and have achieved nothing.

Sometimes the truth isn't what we want to hear... and Americans seem to think life is a bed roses where endless opportunity exists.. and don't want to hear the truth.
Well guess what ? that's not life works.

The cold ugly truth is... its all over, and I win or lose depending on what my goals are and my attitude is.

If I wanted to be a successful person, I lost royally.
And If I'm somebody who wanted permanent mediocrity and despair and poverty in my life, well I won royally.
That's the cold truth.

She says "but you're disabled"... so I told her that I know that I'm disabled... but that doesn't mean shït.

I'm entitled to $193 a month SSI.
But I need to earn better... and now I can't because nobody will deal with me.

Now do you want to understand or not ?

She says "I'm sorry about your predicament" so I said...

So am I.

It's never over dude!

Don't want to get all preachy on you and shit, but I have had an Intersting life to say the least.

Took me half a century before I thought to myself...fuck it, I will do what I want to do and leave all the stupid drama behind me.

So I started traveling all over the world, learning and enriching myself about other cultures. I saw an 80 year old woman with no legs begging on the streets of Kathmandu for example.

It changes your perspective on life and pushes you away from that over consuming western way of thinking.

And if you learn the ropes regarding travel, it's not as expensive as many people think.

I think backpackers are some of the most progressive people alive these days.

Just saying not preaching.

**Ruby Wolf** · 08-10-2015, 02:25 PM

(08-09-2015, 06:53 AM)BlueJay Wrote: Me and my girlfriend was talking, and she asks me why I don't have anything in my life going for me.

Well lets face the facts without denial and realize that in this reality most people dont have much of anything going for them...

If shes all about money and greed and what her materialistically narrow minded fake friggin friends think...

Then dump her friggin fast before you knock her up if you havent already done so while looking down at her ever spreading open legs...

While listening to and believing in her i love you lies and end up being her cash slave in vain for the next twenty friggin years...

While ruining the prime of your life that she will have so ruthlessly thrown away because the back stabbing witch wants to have her cake and eat it to...

Because shes prompted and empowered to do so by the two faced powers that be during this their modern day evil witch hunt against sexually suppressed and financially oppressed middle class men...

Just imagine how many railroaded into doom men are hopelessly and helplessly paying for some other guys child because they couldnt afford paternity tests about a thousand friggin bucks...

By the warped and twisted american justice system who are robotically trained and geared to automatically believe way too many vile and venomous lying hollow words...

That way too many high and mighty on themselves bitchy women enjoy casually spewing out of their friggin over rated and over stretched cum stained pie holes that have driven some men to suicide...

Fair warning to you and anyone else even remotely concerned about being possibly entangled and trapped within the sinister and inescapable web of black widow women fair warning...

**Accidental Stoner** · 08-10-2015, 05:49 PM

Got to agree with DaJ above on this one.

Hope things take a turn for the better for you, any case, BlueJay.

08-10-2015, 06:16 PM

"I cried because I had no shoes until I met a man who had no feet"

-Helen Keller

**Octo** · 08-10-2015, 06:18 PM

Perspective is a wonderful thing.

**Cynicalabsurdance** · 08-10-2015, 08:07 PM

OP post this shit , just to see what response they receive , it's all bullshit ,
the mentality is infantile attention gathering .

Call 1-800-rent-a-mom

pay for the attention you wish to get .

it's $19.95 a Month , and the Rent a Mom brings you Pampers .

**Octo** · 08-10-2015, 08:17 PM

I'd charge $1,995 a month for that sort of service and I'd make them eat their freakin pampers.