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An Ozzie truth
10-06-2012, 01:12 AM #1
Wul Member
Posts:56 Threads:3 Joined:Mar 2011
OK, this guy is an Ozzie but it still very funny.

Australian letter of the year

This is an actual letter sent to the then DFAT Minster, The Hon Alexander Downer and the then Immigration, The Hon Minister Amanda Vanstone. The Government tried in desperation to censure the author, but got nowhere because every legal person who read it nearly wet themselves laughing!
Please excuse the language contained within, but I suspect the author was somewhat upset?

I'll let you decide

Another happy customer of the Federal government.
A fabulous characteristic of Australians is that we are far more direct and outspoken than others when dealing with the sort of elected wanker who wouldn't otherwise get the full drift of what they were trying to communicate.

Below is one such wonderful communication...

Dear Mr. Minister,
I'm in the process of renewing my passport, and still cannot believe this.
How is it that K-Mart has my address and telephone number, and knows that I bought a Television Set and Golf Clubs from them back in 1997, and yet, the Federal Government is still asking me where I was born and on what date.

For Christ sakes, do you guys do this by hand?
My birth date you have in my Medicare information, and it is on all the income tax forms I've filed for the past 40 years. It is on my driver's licence, on the last eight passports I've ever had, on all those stupid customs declaration forms I've had to fill out before being allowed off the planes over the last 30 years, and all those insufferable census forms that I've filled out every 5 years since 1966.
Also..would somebody please take note, once and for all, that my mother's name is Audrey, my Father's name is Jack, and I'd be absolutely ğkking astounded if that ever changed between now and when I drop dead!!!...

shït!

I apologize, Mr. Minister. But I'm really pissed off this morning. Between you an' me, I've had enough of all this bullshit! You send the application to my house, then you ask me for my ğkking address!! What the hell is going on with your mob? Have you got a gang of mindless Neanderthal arseholes workin' there!
And another thing, look at my damn picture. Do I look like Bin Laden? I can't even grow a beard for God's sakes. I just want to go to New Zealand and see my new granddaughter. (Yes, my son interbred with a Kiwi girl). And would someone please tell me, why would you give a shït whether I plan on visiting a farm in the next 15 days? If I ever got the urge to do something weird to a sheep or a horse, believe you me, I'd sure as hell not want to tell anyone!

Well, I have to go now, 'cause I have to go to the other end of the city, and get another ğkking copy of my birth certificate, and to part with another $80 for the privilege of accessing MY OWN INFORMATION!
Would it be so complicated to have all the services in the same spot, to assist in the issuance of a new passport on the same day?? Nooooo.. that'd be too ğkking easy and makes far too much sense. You would much prefer to have us running all over the place like chickens with our ğkking heads cut off, and then having to find some high society wanker to confirm that it's really me in the goddamn photo! You know the photo..the one where we're not allowed to smile?! ...you ğkking morons
Signed - An Irate Australian Citizen.

P.S Remember what I said above about the picture, and getting someone in high-society to confirm that it's me? Well, my family has been in this country since before 1850!
In 1856, one of my forefathers took up arms with Peter Lalor. (You do remember the Eureka Stockade!!)
I have also served in both the CMF and regular Army something over 30 years (I went to Vietnam in 1967), and still have high security clearances.

I'm also a personal friend of the president of the RSL.. and Lt General Peter Cosgrove sends me a Christmas card each year.

However, your rules require that I have to get someone 'important' to verify who I am; You know.. someone like my doctor; WHO WAS BORN AND RAISED IN ğkking PAKISTAN!!!......a country where they either assassinate or hang their ex-Prime Ministers, and are suspended from the Commonwealth for not having the 'right sort of government.'

You are all ğkking idiots
10-06-2012, 01:22 AM #2
The Survivor Truthtard
Posts:5,013 Threads:522 Joined:Sep 2012
lmao.giflmao.giflmao.gif

rofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gif

My round after that. barman.gif

Life is like a penny, you can spend it on what you like, but you can ONLY spend it once.


https://twitter.com/NigelLondon2014

10-06-2012, 01:30 AM #3
Wul Member
Posts:56 Threads:3 Joined:Mar 2011
(10-06-2012, 01:22 AM)NODOOM Wrote:  lmao.giflmao.giflmao.gif

rofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gif

My round after that. barman.gif


Truth is objective, if you know it then you are the first!
10-06-2012, 01:47 AM #4
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:42,603 Threads:1,469 Joined:Feb 2011
lol.gif no truth is subjective imo. Good to see you Wul hug.gif What's hanging?
10-06-2012, 01:50 AM #5
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:42,603 Threads:1,469 Joined:Feb 2011
Never mind what's hanging, how is it hanging though? I was going to ask that but got derailed on my own accord chuckle.gif
10-07-2012, 01:04 AM #6
Accidental Stoner Member
Posts:8,812 Threads:70 Joined:Feb 2011
Good one.

I think I'll copy it, next battle with bureaucracy.
10-07-2012, 02:45 AM #7
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:31,279 Threads:1,438 Joined:Feb 2011
Bureaucracy, the one constant on this planet. cheers.gif Great to see you Wul!

wonder.gif
10-07-2012, 10:10 PM #8
bongcat Member
Posts:80 Threads:8 Joined:Jun 2012
Hahhaaa lmao.gif
10-08-2012, 08:50 AM #9
Shadow Mrs. Buckwheat
Posts:12,782 Threads:1,182 Joined:Feb 2011
chuckle.gif

A little boy wanted $100 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened.

Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to "God, USA," they decided to send it to President Obama.

Obama was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $ 5 bill. He thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:

Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, D.C., and that jerk Obama took $95 in taxes.
10-08-2012, 10:14 AM #10
The Survivor Truthtard
Posts:5,013 Threads:522 Joined:Sep 2012
(10-08-2012, 08:50 AM)Shadow Wrote:  chuckle.gif

A little boy wanted $100 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened.

Then he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100. When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to "God, USA," they decided to send it to President Obama.

Obama was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $ 5 bill. He thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.

The little boy was delighted with the $5 bill and sat down to write a thank-you note to God, which read:

Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington, D.C., and that jerk Obama took $95 in taxes.


lmao.gifcheers.gifbeerbong.gif

Life is like a penny, you can spend it on what you like, but you can ONLY spend it once.


https://twitter.com/NigelLondon2014




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