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BIGFOOT ! nice perfume , and the Fractal
03-18-2013, 04:48 AM #1
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,565 Threads:240 Joined:Feb 2011
NOTE : This thread is a culmination of excerpts from books that are in the process of
being written , I am the author .

These are not as yet copyrighted ,

Summer 1986 , Eel River , Village of Redway . Humbolt County California

~~~~~~~ The Suburban , Kaylem , The Rog', and Oscar B. Bigfoot ~~~~~~~~~~~

On the Road with Kaylem the Wild Child Girlfriend , we stopped into Garberville Calf.
to visit some friends , ,,,

the Batshit Crazy , too much Hair type friends ,
only a well heeled Bong could Love .

For privacy ( Cause, Kaylem is WILD,, and a screamer,
((((her resume' ends with::: Former experience : Nympho)))) )

and given there's gonna be dramas in our Pajamas
and to not give our host the Hots,,

We decided we would camp on the River
instead of impose on friends for a stay over .

It's a little Past Sundown ,, and the shadows are leaning horizontal on their way to sleep.

I'm up on the front seat jamming a Grateful dead tape in the player,,
( 1976 vintage, favorite year for the Dead )

Kaylems in the Back of the Suburban,

with a mini-maglite in mouth looking in a knapsack for zuu zuu's
( Hippie Snacks , like a Snickers Bar or other candy, chips , cookies )

We are 15ft. off the bank of the river which is 40 feet wide at this point ,,

across from us is a steep slope that ends in a drop off of 15 ft.

A Scream like a Rhino stepped on his nut's ,, rings out shattering the peace,,

a Crashing of Branches and bushes comes ripping down the slope ,,,

and this Dark Blob of something comes flying off the Bluff ,, SPLAT ,, roll ,, thump,, stop .

To my right ,, Kaylem's face pops up
( Gawd she was naturally Beautiful ),,
eye's staring like a drunk's when his bottle hits dry ,,,,,,

What was that Rog ?

Thing on the ground over there came off that Bluff
the scream i think was13.gif a Mountain Lion ,, I think ?


The THING stood up about 10 feet tall ,, 80 or so feet from us ,,

Kaylem (while i stare stupid) say's under her breath " Bigfoot ,,,, ! "

This Dark Shaggy Bastard takes about 3 strides and right up a small wash it climbs back
up the slope and into the woods with a limp ,, branches and small trees bending ,,

Just before it went up the wash ,, it turned and looked straight through the windshield
at us ,,, Kaylem pulled her head back and sat toward the Back of the Burb

( note : More correct to state : Kaylem jerked her Body back midair to the back of the Suburban )

Kaylem : "Your Gun Rog' ?

Rog' : " It's here Hun, no need ."

Kaylem : "Uh Rog' ( a bit more panic in the Voice ) Can we leave please ?

Rog' : " I'm Moving now sweet-cheeks ,, be calm ,, ok ? you find those Club Crackers ?

Kaylem : " Calm ?! gaah.gif PLEASE ! My thighs wet dude ,, I pissed myself ,,,

Rog' : " Got it going,, lay down it's gonna be rough kiddo ,,,

(Suburban runs over something ): bounce bounce,,,,,, BAM !,,, bounce

Kayle : "what was that ?

Rog' : That,,,,,, Little one ,, was a boulder ,, if it wasn't dead,, ,, it is now

Panic has a pace ,, and your heart falls right in step ,,

mine was beginning to out step panic about 3 to 1 ,,,

Kaylem's had seem to pass me on the right ,,, no turn signal on , and fell in ahead of mine

( Note to the Heart Cops : Statute of limitations ran out , her heart BEAT you , no ticket , and fuck off bleh.gif )

There's a steep climb out of the River Bed and this part of the road is rutted badly ,,

Full blown Bozo on the Pedal describes nothing compared

a tight hairpin near the top with a bluff on the left ,,FUCK,, forgot about that

spun the wheel and let the Burb drift the turn ,,
spun it back for the straight and shifted up to second from a downshift for the turn ,,

slippery hands from the sweat,,,
and the wheel left my minds acceptance ,, fucker ,,

we're going over the edge when a deep rut takes control and shoves the Burb to the right saving us a descent ,, shit yeah yay.gif

fuck ,, wipe palms and up and over the hump for the Redway Hiway ,,

we make the road , hook right and make it to Garberville ,,

Kaylem has a habit of laughing after the fear subsides , and this will be scaled per
amount of fear she just experienced ,,

No ear wax remained when she had finished this one

As an Outdoorsman , with enough crazy in me to a Grizzly Bear's Nutz, I'm not too
often freighted by much ,,,

Well , this was not a case of MUCH

it was a case of shit and soak your socks ,,TOO MUCH gaah.gif

We took a Forest Service Road North and parked , this time Kaylem waited for me to get in the back in Bed before she would climb over the seat and into bed ,,

There, after a few moments she spoke ,,,

Kaylem : " Rog' ?

Rog' : " Yes ,,,, what is it,,,, desire of my loins ? chuckle.gif

Kaylem : " Shut up , this is serious ,,

Rog' : " Ok , You can use that Bush , I'll stand Guard ,, wipes are on the dash girl ,,,,

Kaylem : " Fucker ,, listen ,, I think that was Oscar back there ,,,

~~~~~~~~~ Oscar, Dead Falls , Widow Makers , tight lips ~~~~~~~~

Across the River near where we were camped is an old wooden bridge ,,,

cross that, and top out the rise, go a quarter mile and on the right is a Ranch Style on 20 acres,,,

the front is a Pasture , and between it and the River is an Apple Grove,,

Living there is the sweetest of ladies with 3 kiddies, a teenage boy and two of the Cutest
cuddle bunny little sisters ,,

Her Name is Angela , close friends call her Angel-lips ( and they are , i've Kissed them,
kinda where my Halo came from )

Anyhoot ,, we run into Annie at the Laundry ,, and Kaylem points her out to me ,,

Kaylem : "Rog',, that's Angel ,, she's the lady with that orchard , where Oscar eats ,,

Anne stands 5 foot too sexy in bare bones and has a Giggle , makes you think of
Butterfly Tinkle on Chrystal Bells ,,,

She smiles over at us ::::::

Annie : " Hey Honey ,, your back ,, good road story to tell ?

( Kaylem is a local )

Kaylem Back to Annie : " Hi Angel ,, yeah ,,, this Mudder fricker Picked me up in L.A. ,, we been Boinkin up the coast Hiway-one ,,, and in Big Sur , he got Poison Oak on the Back of his Sack ,, tee hee

Rog': KAYLEM ! She's making that up Ang" ,, it was only on the bottom ,,not the whole sack

Kaylem :what's up with Oscar Ang' ?

Annie' : Kaylem ,,, !!!!( flips her thumb my way ) uh ,, loose lips girlfriend ,, know what sayin'

Kaylem : "Oh,, Rog' is cool ,, he's a secret agent ,, heh heh

~~~~ Oscar and Annie's Story ~~~~~~~~~

Anne was out hanging the Christmas lights one year ,, maybe 15 years before this ,,

She noticed some prints in the Snow going across the pasture ,, she looked about ,,

and there stretched out below an Apple Tree was a Bigfoot eating Dead-fall apples off
the ground ,,,rotted one's ,, TASTY !

She ran inside , grabbed her Son and went in the bedroom grabbed her Rifle , came
out to the living Room and watched this Bigfoot snack down ,, clearing the ground .

Anne kept this Secret from everyone but her sister for years ,,,

They Named the Big Boy Oscar because his manners were like Oscar Madison's of
the Odd Couple

That Day at the Laundry ( While Kaylem took a coin op shower ) Anne told me the story of Oscar ,,,

She asked I not speak of it outside the valley for she feared Hunters would come after her buddy Oscar ,,,

Been said : You only go round once in life ,,,, Kaylem proved that wrong for me ,,

Certain times , we went several times a round ,,, rested and resumed ,, bet 8 times at least on some
occasions ,,, ah youth ,,

She's still there in Garberville,,

I see her every now and again , some times more often ,,( I am Celibate and we no longer go a-round or eight )

Oscar is believed to still be gleaning Anne's Apples,

for the ground around her Orchard seems to never have dead falls on it ,,,

and I am still on the Road ,,, but I wouldn't be ,,,

for Once up on The Tetons , Leaning against an Old Growth,,

my Guardian Angels stopped a Widow Maker from crushing me ,,

I no longer lean against Old Growth,,

not during a high Wind .

Next , The Stench that stopped my breath dead
03-18-2013, 05:46 AM #2
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,565 Threads:240 Joined:Feb 2011
~~~~~~Bigfoot round two,, and Federal Agents with Narcotic Spray~~~~~

Out on any given moment, where ever a Sunrise or Set will give Solace
to a Wanderer , there will be the Lone Traveler camped , absorbed in and by
the beauty and serenity of peacefulness and his/hers own thoughts .

Because i have the where-with-all and common decency to treat myself to such

I am one of these Misfits .

I no longer run with the crowd , you all got married , too fat to fart ,
and addicted to T.V. with comfort food for pleasure and Solace .

I run alone for the fact that peace is better company than human company .

I like My Peace , it likes me,,, we're selfish , nothing comes between us

:- )

To Follow :

1. Bigfoot round #2 ,

2. A Story Concerning a Camp out
and the UFO we encountered .

May as well recount these tales here before the Big Grim comes to collect my
angelic ass back to Nirvana .

be back shortly
03-18-2013, 08:15 PM #3
UniqueStranger Art in my heart
Posts:15,507 Threads:466 Joined:Jun 2012
Quote:Garberville sits high in the mountains at nearly 550 feet where, say locals, “Bigfoot likes to hang out.”

During the recent Thanksgiving week -- with thousands of tourists and other visitors stopping to enjoy the redwood trees -- the recent new sightings of Sasquatch began to unfold.

“We first heard that he (Bigfoot) was back when a told us about a police report of something scaring people in the nearby forests. We all thought Bigfoot right then and there because we know it’s out there somewhere,” explains Deborah Dorsey who works in a local café.


It looks like Bigfoot is still alive and stinky there.
03-18-2013, 09:49 PM #4
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,565 Threads:240 Joined:Feb 2011
(03-18-2013, 08:15 PM)UniqueStranger Wrote:  
Quote:Garberville sits high in the mountains at nearly 550 feet where, say locals, “Bigfoot likes to hang out.”

During the recent Thanksgiving week -- with thousands of tourists and other visitors stopping to enjoy the redwood trees -- the recent new sightings of Sasquatch began to unfold.

“We first heard that he (Bigfoot) was back when a told us about a police report of something scaring people in the nearby forests. We all thought Bigfoot right then and there because we know it’s out there somewhere,” explains Deborah Dorsey who works in a local café.


It looks like Bigfoot is still alive and stinky there.

Cool find Unique

Oscar's still kicking ,,,,,,, COOL !yay.gif

03-18-2013, 11:25 PM #5
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,565 Threads:240 Joined:Feb 2011
Bigfoot round #2

" There is a road , it runs between West where ever you've been
and where you will end

Some have a name for theirs

I have one for mine

" Eternity "

This from that Road of mine,

~~~~1997,, Lake Merwin , State of Washington , 15 miles deep within a Rain Forest ~~~~~

Crafts are an awesome Zen

One of the Crafts I've plugged into is beading

" The Bead Store , Vancouver Washington , 1997"

Met Mary at her Bead Store , and the flirt was on immediately ,,

she's too sweet and cute to resist the temptation of flirting with

( I get into trouble a lot because of flirting,,, Ladies have taken me seriously ,
when in fact , it was just a flirt , not a come on , also another reason I run alone,,
lots of single ladies across America,,, why bother bringing one and dealing with,, well, not having any Peace )bleh.gif

Somehow , Mary coaxed me into asking for her hand in a Date ,, ( silly of me to be manipulated this way )

During our outings together i mentioned i had been seeking a raw parcel of land
out in the forest to buy and hide out on ,,, ( For the Peace )

Coincidence ? I think not .

She related she had a 10 acre parcel for sale herself for $50 K

yes, i bought it

The Parcel sits on the lake , abutted against National Forest
15 miles out an old logging road

it is situated at the very terminus of that Road

no Neighbors .

PERFECT !yay.gifyay.gifyay.gifyay.gif

~~~~ Breath Stealing Stench ~~~~~~

The County in this area needs a site to dump Road Kill Deer

Their Choice for this , is my Road : Branscome Hollow Rd.

Many times I have smelled the stench of the Bodies in certain parts along
the road and have stopped to investigate,,,,, finding at times as many as 3 Carcases
of deer in one spot .

Owing to this ,,

I thought when i came upon the Stench near my Boat Ramp , that the Bunnyheads
had made a deposit of Dead animals again . This Time on private property ,,

private property that is MINE !

I'd have to dig a pit and bury the poor creatures , well so i thought ,

and i was a bit livid about that inconvenience imposed upon my Too Lazy to dig Self .

Owning two Kayaks , a Canoe , two motor boats , I use this ramp often ,
and coming in after dark the night before with my Kayak ,,

I was paddled out , too tired ,, and used the Pick-ups front seat for bed

There was no Stench before i went to sleep that night ,,

So when the Sun Rose and I awoke ,,
I was baffled as to how the County workers had come in and dumped the dead
without waking me with their noise ,,

I slid off the front seat and out the door of the Pick-up

WHEW WEE ILENE ,,, GAWD-DAMNED !!!woohoo.gifwoohoo.gifwoohoo.gif

In the Air , was a Stench so thick You could stir it with a stick ,,,

Afflicted with Tunnel Vision , and being i have to walk up the dirt ramp which is rutted ,,

I kept my eye's to the ground as I walked along and looked over the sides of the ramp for the carcasses ,,,

I'm cussing out loud at the Dumpers ,, when i stop and look up ahead of me ,,,

There in your mind is a repository of every Nightmare you ever had , these
are all in one small box of your mind and stored ,,,

( God does that to you ,, because at times , you are an ass ,, so I have more then most people ,
for I am more of an ass then most others ,,,, )

Standing dead center in front of me ,, with a look of : "Well ,, your move Buddy ,,
what's it gonna be ,, Checkers or Chess ? "

Is a Bigfoot blocking out the Morning Sun ,,,

I've been engaged many years in exploring the mind ,,

I've at times conjured up some awesome shit doing so ,,,

So ,, first on my mind was : Ha ! Not bad Rog' ,, you can even smell it ,,

second thought was : BIGFOOT ! and,,, why is it in these moments ,, my Nut's
always manage to push my inny into an outy ( Belly Button reference )

Being we were on a slope , and he was above my level, i had just scanned from his feet up to his eye's

( a Bigfoot's eyes have no white to them )

His eye's were speaking : And , my good Sir ,, ?

In my panic , i looked behind back to my truck gauging the distance i'd have to LEAP to retrieve my Firearm ,,,

BAD BAD THOUGHT TO BE SURE ,,,, ( Bigfoot has an extreme sense of instinct )

I looked back at his Face , he sensed my self preservation mode and his face now
was ANGER like that on Satan's , when he caught me cheating with his Wife ,,

I turned to boogie two feet and in a stride he was at my back ,,

leaning over my left shoulder , and growling ,,,

at the tailgate he stopped ,

I jumped in , ignoring the 357mag. on the seat ,

cranked up, spun the truck around back toward his direction ,, POOF,, he was gone .

This is where that Box of Nightmares blew itself wide open crowding out
all sanity from my mind ,,,

The Road is a seven mile dirt bastard with lots of hairpin turns ,, before it turns
to pavement for the next eight miles to town,

This Morning The Truck got magical and levitated through all of them ,,,

I never stopped until i hit the small town of Woodland Wash. 15 miles away .

Next : The Federal Officers and Narcotic Gas .
03-19-2013, 12:56 AM #6
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,565 Threads:240 Joined:Feb 2011
~~~~~~ God has a sense of humor , that at times.. I just do not get ~~~~~

This Road log , has on the margin of most of the pages , little sketches I made
after writing the stories ,,

One such sketch is for this story ,,,

in the sketch ,,,

I am looking up at a Cloud ,, the Cloud has a Finger pulling open a hole from
within ,,,

out of the Hole is a Blue Eye peeking down at me ,,,

caption : So , you think yourself ready for anything ,, hmmm,, ?

This story is of one of the times i am Kidnapped by Agents .

03-19-2013, 03:52 AM #7
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,565 Threads:240 Joined:Feb 2011
before i continue with the Agents story

Title reads "Fractal "

so that it's understood

here is a short definition

A curve or geometric figure, each part of which has the same statistical character as the whole.
Relating to or of the nature of a fractal or fractals: "fractal geometry".

I have further notes to add to that definition

and when we come to it, I'll outline it some .
03-19-2013, 04:45 AM #8
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,565 Threads:240 Joined:Feb 2011
~~~~ baby Tracks , go to sleep my Hippie , No need to know~~~~~

Several decades of my life i lived inside the Spy System ,, as a target,, as a deposit of classified documents,,,as an Unknowing unwilling operative

and at times a tool in sting operations
without my consent nor knowledge . ( until after the completion of the Sting )

~~~ return to the Bigfoot event and my arrival in town afterward ~~~

First site you hit entering Town from my place is a 76 station Circle K

I dodge into the parking lot ,, too freaked to know why except the Cotton mouth
required quenching ,,

I flew through the doors catching attention to myself by doing so

( I am somewhat of a calm person , mostly deep in thought , and walk a slow pace
usually, so this was out of character for me )

This brought the notice of the cashier

She squawked : What's the hurry Hippie ? Late for a date ?

without my conscious knowledge I blurted : BIGFOOT ,, just had a run in again

She Laughed ,, yeah right ,you're a freak dude ( small towns, they still watch re-runs
of Hee Haw there, and believe them to be a reality series )

I had picked up a Tail coming back in, 3 car's and a Pick-up

nothing i am not aware of and am used to it ,,

two of them enter the store as this is said ,, One , Hey Man, where?

Out at my place ,, never mind dude ,,

he won't let it drop .

I shove past, pay the tab on the juice and out I go with the Nosey Cashier's snide ass remarks slapping on my back ,,

One with a hankey over his lower face has a canister

he sprays my face ( Narcotic Gas )

Good Night Hippie

03-19-2013, 05:24 AM #9
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,565 Threads:240 Joined:Feb 2011
Waking a few hours later , sitting passenger in my pick-up

in front of my property ,, i was a whole shitload confused on why i fell asleep
without lying down ,,

i had a foggy about the Bigfoot , some flashes of the agents ,, and a torn shirt on ,,

Piecing some together, and being a hunter , i though to check on whether
i had had a nice dream by checking for tracks around the Pick-up

Yes, indeed , tire tracks for two other vehicles and plenty boot tracks

I drove down to the Boat Ramp ,

The tracks of the Bigfoot and myself had been brushed

I rounded out looking for where his may be beyond the parameter

over the top , i picked them up,, followed them , and Came across where they picked up with the tracks of two smaller Bigfoot creatures

I put it together that he was running interference for the two smaller ones

He had placed himself between them and me .

But why the agents and this co-vert kidnapping ?

Need to Know ,, and YOU don't have any

Everything beyond what is controlled as natural to your culture , is covered up

almost everything

Bigfoot is in that venue folks .

UFO's ,, Loves, coming clean to each of them , the fractal
03-19-2013, 06:23 AM #10
Shadow Anonymous Kritter
reading.gif wow.
03-19-2013, 09:34 PM #11
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,565 Threads:240 Joined:Feb 2011
~~~~~ Black Helicopter Incident ~~~~

If you cannot LOVE a Government That simultaneously wages War on Drugs

while buying and pushing drugs ,,,

Then ,,,

You are like me .

positing once in a forum : " What is man's Most Devastating Creation ? "

I received replies such as : Nukes


Answer : FEAR !uhoh.gif

Out of man's fear, everything created heinous to Loving Kindness , cohabitation
without conflict ,,


He has created .

Wars occur due to inducing fear in a People

Weed laws came to fruition through the manipulating of people using FEAR on
the populace .

Preachers preaching FEAR into the Flock

~~~~~~~~ Outlaw Rider , consummate Rebel , Black out Sky ~~~~~~

Sitting Lotus , at the Waters edge is another Zen to engage ,,

Two thirds water , and your lover for healing is Moving Water

Sitting such, quiet ,, and flow was even within ,, mind leaves body at this point
and you travel ,,,,,,,,

That state i was floating in when : THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP

Opening my eye's , out over the Lake is a Black Helicopter hovering 15 feet above the surface ,,, 30 yards away ,,

Slider open ,,

Jumpsuit at an M60 staring at me ,,,

Attempted Intimidation effects ?

yes, none other .

Perform a stupidity in front of me , and more likely then not ,

I will cock my head a bit to the right ,,
exhale exasperation ,,,

stare you in your eye's ,,
and you will read in mine ,, Fuckin' FOOL !

This , instead of their desired effect on me , is what they received in turn .

The Chopper was DEA manned , obvious to myself was that I had been under surveillance for many years prior ,,, in many places , by many entities ,,

so why not this , and why not here ?

No , they cannot get fear out of a man that has nothing to hide .

I stood , raised my hand to my chin , stared back ,, turned my head and
theatricality SPIT down HARD , looked back to them shaking my head
as a Mother would watching her son stick his tongue in a light socket .


hang in there , here comes my mind again ,,,
we need to talk for a second ,,

be right back .
03-20-2013, 04:29 AM #12
Shadow Anonymous Kritter
Quote:~~~~~ Black Helicopter Incident ~~~~

If you cannot LOVE a Government That simultaneously wages War on Drugs

while buying and pushing drugs ,,,

Then ,,,

You are like me .

positing once in a forum : " What is man's Most Devastating Creation ? "

I received replies such as : Nukes


Answer : FEAR !

Quotable reading.gif

I like Amy and wish I could be more like her hug.gif People like her lack ego.

03-20-2013, 05:22 AM #13
Shadow Anonymous Kritter
(03-20-2013, 04:57 AM)Cynicalabsurdance Wrote:  As Amy conveyed ,,, it's robbery not to give her this .

I robbed us both

You cannot go back and overturn Mistakes

it is never too late however ,,, to extend love to another ,

You can't unmake them but you can heal them. And perhaps the timing matters too.

Here's a story I'm not proud of but ... I'll tell it anyways. when was in grade 8, I stole $2 from another students locker. Many years later -about 5 years ago- I found myself working with the sister of the girl I'd stolen from. It bugged me so i put a $2 bill in an envelope and asked her to pass it on to her sister with my apologies.

Bizarre as it is, the sisters were in a scavenger hunt that afternoon and one of the items was a $2 bill (we've had only coins for 10 years or more, bills are hard to find) and they won the scavenger hunt.

It's hard to do, but the results... well they're worth it. wave.gif
03-20-2013, 06:48 AM #14
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,565 Threads:240 Joined:Feb 2011
Friend of mine


" “People don't want other people to get high, because if you get high, you might see the falsity of the fabric of the society we live in.”
― Ken Kesey
03-20-2013, 06:55 AM #15
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,565 Threads:240 Joined:Feb 2011
Quoting myself from the Log

" There is nothing so frightening to the Established order ,,

Then the Truth shouted from the Mouth of the Lunatic on a Soap Box "