#Login Register

  • 78 Vote(s) - 3.37 Average

BIGFOOT ! nice perfume , and the Fractal
06-15-2013, 03:54 AM #376
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,340 Threads:231 Joined:Feb 2011
ever notice it is always the RIGHT sock that's missing ????

Know why that is ?

The Land of Lost Socks

is operated by right wing radical Socks

and they keep left wingers out

So , the Left Socks really have no place to escape to .

Lefty's are not prone to being control freaks .

So they have no control over land they could turn into

" The Land of the Lost Left Socks "

But ,,,

if those Lefty's ever get it together ,,,

I get the Movie rights to it .

because I thought it up chuckle.gif
06-15-2013, 04:00 AM #377
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:41,156 Threads:1,535 Joined:Feb 2011
I think those poor socks end up MK'd and used as puppets on internet forums. Poor bastard socks.
06-15-2013, 04:08 AM #378
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:30,390 Threads:1,479 Joined:Feb 2011
I've noticed the so called left and right operate on the same principles. If not for the label of Republicant and Democant I could not tell the difference.
It's all about corporate fascism and the whores that do their bidding.

06-15-2013, 04:58 AM #379
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,340 Threads:231 Joined:Feb 2011
No idea how it got so bad
that even socks
have politics
and that's sad

i thought perhaps
a civil sock war
might calm things down
never run anymore

i believed in socks
till lost sock land
came around

Was a time they were twins
but even sock games
has losers if one wins

20 pair turn to ten
when they escape
never to be
seen again

Lost a Sock
in Cameroon
Lost the other
to a Monsoon

Over board
and gone for good

got one pair left
even it's turned
to mood

I don't wash them anymore
can't afford to lose any
yes ,
I'm just that poor

socks broke me
running away

might invent something
to make them stay

lots of money
to be had
by turning socks good
from bad .

06-15-2013, 06:11 AM #380
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,340 Threads:231 Joined:Feb 2011
You used to be able to buy these huge ten foot weather baloons
at a nearby novelty shop .

It took about a year to fill them up tight ,,

well ,, at 13 years of age , it seemed like a year to me .

They cost two skins each ,, I got three for free because
I knew thieves in the slum area across the Blvd. from me .

Yeah , so I fensed stolen Baloons as a kid ,,, tuff sh_t dude .

Anyway ,,

Two doors down from me , a friends Dad had an old air compressor
in the garage ,,,

guess what I did ,,,

sorry ,,, that's wrong .

Actually ,,, I used a funnel turned upside down
over a one burner stove inside a 55 gallon metal drum with
a pour spout hole in it and the funnel over that hole and the baloon
over the tight end of the funnel.

filled the first one with hot air that way .

Took forever man .

but it worked .

So here I have this 10 foot big hairy ass Lighter than air craft built .

I made a Gondola for it out of a shoe box .

Snatched my Moms Parakeet

put the squawky sucker in the shoe box , put the lid on it
( yes, the lid had holes ,,,I'm an Einstein , not a Dr. Jykle Mr. Hyde )

I had three hundred feet of 30Lb test Fishing line tied to it ..

heh heh

from the park across the street

we Launched

it got up there fast

300 feet of line reeled off like greased Owl Sh_t man .

FAST right through my bare hands ,,,,

Well , though a light breeze on the ground

The wind is a bit stronger up 300 feet , like 60 MPH stronger

and it grabbed the baloon and pulled it fast and hard

Damned if the line didn't cut my hands

yes , i let go to look at the cuts

Stupid Bird was singing away as he sailed off ever higher and higher

if it came down

Some sucker over in Arizona probably ended up having to
feed the Keet til it drop dead 10 years later .

I had to blame the Kidnapped Keet on the slum kids

cause Ma still had that Camel Whip hidden , and man did she cop a tude
about that green little squeaker being missing .

Our next Caper was to be Gordy's Monkey ,,, Coco ,,,

but when Stan tried to get it out of the cage ,,,

Coco bit the B'Jeepsus out of him ,, then escaped to the Kitchen

knocking over crap real loud , we got scared we'd be caught
being that we broke into Gordy's house to steal the Coco Monkey

and we ran out the back door leaving the window we climbed

in ,,,,,open ,,, and Coco, went out that window,,, and took up living behind the Market in a tree

above the Dipsey Dumpster where Coco ate pretty much

how and when it wanted to .

One morning a Bum digging for bottles caught Coco in the dumpster .

Stan Bought Coco from the bum for the price of a Mag of Maddog 20/20

But Ralph tried to hold him,,,, Coco gave him a nip ,,, Ralph let go of Coco,,

Coco was out and gone again
hiding out on the Lam behind the Market again

Ralph said : Oh well ,,, easy come ,,, easy go ,,,


So we thought up that we would heat up both baloons at once

this time , we'd tie rope with knots onto it and send
up a Milk crate with some other innocent animal in it .

I wanted to put Ralph in it

but he wasn't innocent

But Bruce had this Cat he had fed LSD once

so we went over to his house and tried to Cat-nap the Psyzoid Cat .

sure enough ,,, it scratched all of us so bad ,,,we let it's Hulucinating ass go
and we left it alone ever after.

Then Danny came upon us

He was Tracy's older brother fresh back from Nam

He had the best idea ( well ,, besides putting Ralph in the Crate )

He knew how to make a Missile out of two cans and a cherry bomb

and how to make a fuse long enough to last till the Baloon
got up there a couple hundred feet .

they call it " Improvised Munitions " in the Marines

well , he being older
and the Guys all looked up to him ,,,

I had to concede , besides , we'd have to chop Ralph up
to get him to fit in the Crate anyway .

Danny explained that we could only use one baloon
because the hot air would cool in the first Baloon before the second
was filled,,, and it wouldn't rise .

so it was going to be a matter of using only the cans for
payload too .

he made the missile before the baloon was filled
he then took a Ker jar and filled it half way with Gasoline

the idea was
when the Cherry bomb went off
it would break the glass jar
ignite the gas

and 4th of July with FLAMES GALORE

well ,,, sh_t was lookin' mighty swell to me

I was excited .

we get this contraption done just after the Sun set
walk across the street to the park

Now,,, no rope or string will be tied to it

because the Baloon is going to become a casualty as well .
so no sense in reeling in a dead baloon thats burning up .

I'm holding the Baloon

Gordy's watching with a Snot Bubble of anticipation blowing
in and out his nostril

Danny's lighting the fuse he made
it catches

and burns straight up FASTER then we meant it too

I let go so don't worry , I didn't explode or nothing

It got up there about 70 feet

Ka-blam-BOOM ,,,

RAINING DOWN TOWARD US !!!!!! gaah.gifgaah.gif

Man , My cheap Converse sure had experience in out running Cops

and it took them nothing flat to remember how to skittle gone

with boggie two shoes geared
and my hands over the top of my head ,,,

I ran looking up at a shower of fire that seemed to be running the same direction
my converse were ,,, and falling straight down toward me ,,,,

I ditched under the Merry-go-round for cover

nothing ,,,,

no flames

nothing came down on the ground around me

I looked out from under the Merry-go-round

and see Danny on his hands and knees laughing like a loon on a full moon ,,,

Pointing at me ,,,

He knew the gas would burn up before it made it to the ground ,, that sh_t-head

You ever find any of those old weather Baloons

don't try this with them

don't even bring them home

they caused nothing but problems for you

cause you'll think up sh_t like i did

06-15-2013, 04:29 PM #381
UniqueStranger Art in my heart
Posts:15,011 Threads:441 Joined:Jun 2012
Quote:There was a foot path from our back door to a shed which I used
to play fort with .

The Agents place the broken bottom of a coke bottle on the path
to the shed .

I came outside and walked for the shed .


Thank you again NSA

I was cut deep and badly

You and I are the same age Rog, and thinking back to those days, we children always ran around barefooted. I too was running in the park, at night, and cut my right foot on a broken beer bottle that was hidden in the grass. The gash was deep, to the bone, and quite severe. Unlike you I was rushed to the hospital for stitches.

The point I'm trying to make is that back then people just threw (smashed) their garbage wherever and that included glass pop and beer bottles with no concern for children or animals.

Even today there are alot of weirdoos planting razor blades in playgrounds and parks.
06-15-2013, 07:15 PM #382
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,340 Threads:231 Joined:Feb 2011
Barefootin' we were for sure

situation was that this piece of Glass was PLANTED on the path .

it was a single piece of glass with sharp points up

it was a dirt path not cement and no way it was a smashed bottle .

This transmitter was an early proto type .

it was the first they attempted to implant

not the last

the last was a glass encased micr-transmitter

they drugged me
brought in a dentist ( who was drunk on his a's ) he drilled my molar
put the transmitter in the hole
covered the hole with dental putty .

I came up out of the Sodium Pentathol while he was working on me .

that was 1999

ten years before in 1989
they had done the same thing
I also came up

that's when I kicked the Dentist clean across my living room

I raised so much hell
that the next door neighbor came out ( his door right next to mine)
looked in and asked what they were doing to me .

The agents were dressed in Sheriffs uniforms but were not Sheriffs
they threatened to take him to jail for interfering in an arrest .

he ducked back into his apt .

I contacted that neighbor about 10 years ago and he confirmed the incident .

I had that tooth pulled

the one ten years later , the tooth shattered
while i was eating in my van at Taco bell

I ran my tongue across the tooth
and the broken glass cut my tongue

The van was surrounded by no less than 6 agents
i fought
they sprayed me in the face with a narcotic gas

I awoke and i was on the Airforce base southwest of Phoenix .

strapped down
a dentist there took out the broken transmitter

I came to while they were talking ( agents and dentist )

want to hear what they were saying ?
06-15-2013, 07:45 PM #383
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,340 Threads:231 Joined:Feb 2011

this is a Micro-Transmitter

this one is BIG compared to what was implanted in my tooth

just to give an idea
of how small these can be

of course
it was me
not you
that had this done

but you are next
06-16-2013, 01:23 AM #384
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,340 Threads:231 Joined:Feb 2011
This was not on the news

and unless you were there when it happened ,,,

you didn't see it .

Given that you did not witness it ,,,,

you are stuck with believing me about it happening ,,,

or ,,,

believe your Public Officials .

You choose .

~~~~~ Face full , spooned through a Windshield ~~~

The team attached to me to harass me numbered 20 people

In one day , they followed me around N. Phoenix and every store or Business I entered ,
they ran in ahead of me and told employees lies , so when i attempted buying anything ,
the employees treated me like a disease .

As I drove out of Phoenix headed for L.A. , this team drove ahead and behind me .

A Blond Female of the team was to meet her Karma Face first , head on , and end
her own harassment of me with a face SPLAT hard .

As I stated , it did not make the News , though it should have .

About where the San Bernadino county line meets the Riverside County line ,,

I am stuck in heavy traffic on the 60 freeway heading West for L.A. .

I hear a honk next to me to my right , and look over at a mini truck just behind
my cab on mine .
There is a Guy I recognize from Phoenix behind the wheel and he is looking toward
the on ramp while pointing at my truck .

The freeway in this area is below street surface so the on ramp
is a clover leaf type that descends down onto the freeway from the street
surface .

I look at whom he is pointing me out to , on the ramp is a Blond driving a new
Pontiac , she is looking at him when i spot her ,,,

she looks at where he is pointing , which is me ,

she looks at my face , I smile ,, she gives me a hate filled look ,,,

right in front of her is a Flat bed trailer filled with pipe ,

the pipe is longer than the trailer by 10 feet ,, a red rag hanging to warn
of over sized load .

I see she is about to run into the pipe and I point at it ,

she turns her chin in the direction she is traveling and see's her situation ,

her eye's get wide

her Jaw flops wide

she hits the brakes and the tires lock up and skid ,,,,,

I watch the end of the pipe go through her windshield and take her head right off
her neck and shove it into the ceiling of the Pontiac behind the front seat ,,

Clean decapitation I have to say , quick , efficient , FINAL .

The Clown who pointed me out to her

had just distracted her long enough to cause her to ram her face into the Pipe .

If he had not distracted her , she would have seen the Obstacle and stopped in time .

he jumped out of his truck and ran to the Pontiac

several of the other team members jumped out of their own vehicles .

He reached the Pontiac and tried to open the door while looking in at her ,,,

suddenly he turned away

and BARF

all over the street

There had a Micro-transmitter under my Horn on my steering wheel .

As I watch him BARF ,,,

I say : " Well ,,,, you wanted to be a HERO ,,, you dumb fu___k , what'd you think you were going to do ,,, stick her head back on ? "

The transmitter is transmitting everything i say to the Ear Buds they are wearing .

The bone head heard what i said ,,

he turned and looked at me with anger , he started to charge at me when his buddy grabbed
him to stop him,,,

he was about to expose them to me .

His buddy tells him something that if my lip reading was correct ,, No , don't , he'll get his
soon enough man ,, don't blow your cover "

( that is what i could piece together out of it )

The Blond had been seen by me many times before this event .

She and the rest of the team violated every right i ever had .

Plus , torture and attempted murder of me many times .

She was a Criminal no matter who employed her .

There is a Good ending to these type of people some times .

and she got that ending

She never committed another crime or victimized another person again .

Looking back over the years and at every incident they victimized me with .

every time i get angry about it

I bring up that memory of watching her face as it was just before impact ,,,

and then his face when he heard me say what i said .

That look of SHOCK they both had

and when i think of that team shocking me with a defibrillator ,,,

I recall their shocked looks and i get real calm knowing that at least a few of them,,

I had the pleasure ,,,, of watching them die .

Is that COLD BLOODED of me ?

Yes indeed , i get real cold blooded .

and Happy too .
06-16-2013, 07:24 AM #385
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,340 Threads:231 Joined:Feb 2011


~~~~~~~ The Monkey shït on the sheets !!!!! ~~~~~~~~~~

Coco goes Coco - NUTZ ,,, and Gordy gets his lumps ,,,

coming up next rofl.gif
06-16-2013, 08:45 AM #386
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,340 Threads:231 Joined:Feb 2011
As promised

~~~~ Coco the Monkey ,,, goes Coco-Nuts ~~~~~~

~~~~~ or ~~~~~ " the day the monkey shït the sheets " ~~~~~~

timeline 1968

At 13 years old , life becomes a little more intriguing

Mainly , because you are sprouting hairs on a before then ,, bald set of Nutz ,,

Shapes on girls on beginning to take on meaning ,,,
that before ,,, never meant much to you .

You become self aware and horny as hell ,

you become aware of the self aware girls who are also becoming
aware of their own horny ,,,

Monkeys at this stage of life have little meaning anymore to you .

This is the story of two of us friends ,,, our first interest in two girls whom
we invite to the house for a hopeful frolic in the nude with us .

Don't touch that dial
stay tuned

you do not want to miss this Episode yay.gif
06-16-2013, 08:36 PM #387
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,340 Threads:231 Joined:Feb 2011
~~~ Hot Nutz and Coco-Nutz don't mix well with the Girls ~~~~

Walking to a store one afternoon ,,, two new girls to our Neighborhood
are standing in their front yard .

They begin to flirt with Gordy and I ,,,

we forget about the store when Gordy brings up the fact that he owns a Monkey
and the Girls want to come over and see it ( more like the little Monkey's in our pants )

So with the excuse to get inside a house without parent supervision ,,, to be
alone with us for a make out session ,,,,

the girls walk with us back to Gordy's house for an open display of the three Monkey's .

Coco is an A$$hole as Monkeys go ,,, I used to attribute that to the fact
that he knew he was a Stolen Monkey ,,,

Gordy had Broke a Pet Shop window that Coco was sitting behind in his cage ,,,

and ,,,

with a stolen Grocery Cart ,,,, Gordy Carted away Coco ,,, cage ,,, and some Monkey food .

2;30 am in the hood can find some interesting sights to watch,,,

that night on Hawthorne Blvd .

Gordy and a SCREAMING Coco Monkey were the best sight around .

The girls both wore their hair ratted up high in the back

coated in hairspray ,, these hairdo's looked just like Turkey A$$es from behind

we didn't care about what hair looked like from behind

we were watching behinds as they wiggled to Gordy's House of " A$$hole Monkey hell . "

One Girl ,, Tammy had bright red hair , freckles that glowed red under a black light

and bright pink nipples that reminded me of Bunny noses .

The girls have to wait at the back door while Gordy goes in to calm Coco for the visit

he has the cage door open calming Coco .

I tell Gordy to just bring Coco out ,,,

Gordy replies : " Rog', Ma said next time he get's out , she's gonna beat me to a pulp with him

he tore up her curtains last time, so,,, I'm not even to open the cage door unless
to feed and water him ....

she is serious Rog' """"""""

Right then , Tammy walked into the back porch and Coco saw all that stacked up red hair

Coco must of thought to himself " it's a red headed Rhesus ,, and it's in HEAT ! "

( cause the girls were in heat after all and female hominids of either species triggers a male Monkey's Libido )

Coco jumped past Gordy

up the curtains he climbed
ran along the curtain rod ,,,

and leaped for Tammy's head where he landed with all four claws death gripping her
Bulbous bouffant ,,,,

He wasted little time and got to humping her head like a Doberman on a Poodle

Tammy's screaming " AHHHHHGGG GET HIM OFF,,,,, GET HIM OFF HE'S F____KING MY HAIR ! "

I busted out gut laughing

Gordy's flipping out trying to grab Coco

Sheila ( the other Girl , Tammy's friend ) is screaming like a Red Tailed hawk in heat ,,,

I hit the ground on my back,,, can't see much through the tears of Joy

Coco's holding on for dear orgasm and Tammy's jerking her head up and down trying
to flip Coco off ,,,

Gordy can't grab Coco because she won't stop flipping Coco up and down

Gordy grabs Tammy's head in an arm lock
snatches about two yards of her hair out in Coco's clutches when he jerks
Coco loose from her locks

and Tammy knocks Sheila down as she runs out the door and down the street back home

Just then ,,, Coco makes an escape , with red locks still in his clutches

he jams down the hall and into Gordy's Mother's bedroom

we are in hot pursuit with me laughing crazy at the bastard Coco and
the Red Hair he is trailing behind him stuck to his hind feet ,,, by the Hair Spray ,,

As we enter the room Coco's hissing at us ,,,.

Gordy warns : Careful Rog ,,, he'll bite now ,,, he's pissed

I run back down the hall and grab a Broom

run back in the Bedroom and Coco's on the Curtain Rod over the Bed

I swing the broom,,,, bristles first ,, and swat him off the Rod ( which comes down with him )
and onto the bed where Gordy slams down on him with a Pillow and holds him down with it .

We get a Blanket wrapped around him
and throw him in the cage and this time LOCK it .

we go back to the bedroom to fix the Curtain and Rod


just where your head would lay on the bed

was a pile of squirted Coco Sh_t ,,, and a streak of it coming down and off the side of the bed .

Car pulls into the drive

Gordy's eyes POP OUT

MOM !!!! gaah.gifgaah.gifgaah.gifgaah.gifgaah.gif

As she beats Tar out of Gordy , I am trapped in the bedroom , because she
is beating him in front of the door ,,, the only door out of the room ,,,

She lets up on him ,,,

Looks at me ,,,

AND YOU ! YOU S.O.B. ,,, for talking him into letting that devil out ,,

I BOWLED past her with all my might

she got a lick in on the back of my head,,, the lump is still there
45 years later .

we never had to wash the sheets

those were burned

Coco ended up living in a Tree behind a Market over the Dipsey Dumpster which became his
food bowl ,,,

Gordy Limped for about a year and a half

Tammy and Sheila forgave Gordy and me , and we BOINKED with them til they moved
away .

Gordy died of an over dose given to him by Intel Agents who suicided him for knowing too much .

and I write true adventures to amuse me and you with .

06-17-2013, 03:03 AM #388
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,340 Threads:231 Joined:Feb 2011
Panty Holes

can they be sewed ?

or sold ?

for sale " Two Panty holes ,,,partially wore through "

must be picked up .

will swap for Garden holes

must have title and registration

Shoe sign extra

comes with batteries included

For sale : " Dog house " the old lady ran off with a plumber , I'm back inside .
comes with Flea Collar and Man Cave items .

Destitute Wino looking for Love ,,, willing to swap skin sores with right mate .

06-17-2013, 03:26 AM #389
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,340 Threads:231 Joined:Feb 2011
~~~~~~~~~ More bizarre adds from the mind of Rog' ~~~~~~~~~~~

For Rent :

" A sad Situation "

can be converted to a happy
with added attachments ( Extra , sold separately , or Rent to own )
must have references

first last and security deposit required
background check a must

~~~ For Trade ~~~

One Giggle for two Grins

One owner low smiles
all power options
may be seen in your eyes
no test rides without deposit in hand

~~~ Personal add ~~~~

Single Green and Blue blood covered accident survivor

seeking first grade teacher
for first Aid treatment

must be 18 years of age with Tattoo's
willing to relocate to your Hospice
serious sickies need only reply

~~~ Help wanted ~~~

Seeking young vigorous female with Marijuana Medical card

Have Pipe , will travel
must be available nights and Weekends

paid in Puffs
06-17-2013, 03:30 AM #390
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,340 Threads:231 Joined:Feb 2011
~~~~~ more adds ~~~~

~~~ For Sale ~~~

Monkey Shines
we Simonize

~~~~ For rent ~~~~

Space in my head
future tenant must have good sense of humor
be willing to Brain Wash

and deal with Pee Brain



DISCLAIMER / Terms of Service (TOS):
Kritterbox.com - Socialize anonymously, commentary, discussion, oddities, technology, music and more!  This website is provided "as is" without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied. kritterbox.com shall not be liable for any damages whatsoever, including, without limitation, those resulting from loss of use, data or profits, whether or not advised of the possibility of damage, and on any theory of liability, arising out of or in connection with the use or performance of this site or other documents which are referenced by or linked to this site.
This website exists solely for the purposes of exchange of information, communication and general entertainment. Opinions from posters are in no way endorsed by kritterbox.com. All posts on this website are the opinion of the authors and are not to be taken as statements of fact on behalf of kritterbox.com. This site may contain coarse language or other material that kritterbox.com is in no way responsible for. Material deemed to be offensive or pornographic at the discretion of kritterbox.com shall be removed. kritterbox.com reserves the right to modify, or remove posts and user accounts on this website at our discretion. kritterbox.com disclaims all liability for damages incurred directly or indirectly as a result of any material on this website. Fictitious posts and any similarity to any person living or dead is coincidental.
All users shall limit the insertion of any and all copyrighted material to portions of the article that are relevant to the point being made, with no more than 50%, and preferably less of the original source material. A link shall be visible in text format, embedded directly to the original source material without exception.
No third party links, i.e. blogs or forums will be accepted under any circumstances, and will be edited by staff in order to reflect the original source of copyrighted material, or be removed at the sole discretion of kritterbox.com.
Fair Use Notice:
This site may contain copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. Users may make such material available in an effort to advance awareness and understanding of issues relating to economics, individual rights, international affairs, liberty, science, and technology. This constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C.Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for educational and/or research purposes.
This Disclaimer is subject to change at any time at our discretion.
Copyright © 2011 - 2017 kritterbox.com