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BIGFOOT ! nice perfume , and the Fractal
08-14-2014, 12:20 AM #811
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,340 Threads:231 Joined:Feb 2011
To continue from the post above

Again this quote of Ken Kesey "

" Ken Kesey : The Fallacy of the Fabric of our society ."

This Trip was my first , and for the first , it happened that it was via
the most powerful Psychedelic Drug on the street at the time ,,,

" LSD 25 " in the Double Barrel Orange Sunshine Tablet form .

again from Ken : The Fallacy of the Fabric of our Society

The drug reveals you to yourself
and in this Journey ,,,

You will experience : " The Fallacy of the Fabric of your Ego "

for this is a personal self analysis Journey , in which the Society you
live within , is Not the focus ,,,

you're inner most essence is ,,
and allow me to point out a truth ,, the Society you live in , no matter what
it amounts to ,,

Cannot in any positive terms , be improved upon from you , if you remain
in a defunct consciousness .

That is a given .

My own Journey , was wrought with revelations of my imperfections
become revealed up front and directly in my face ,,

further , no matter how or what i tried to run from myself ,,, the Trip
would not allow for escape , You are HELD prisoner to yourself , and you cannot escape YOU , no matter what you deny , no matter where you attempt run ,,

no matter in what manner you attempt to lie to yourself and make excuses
for what you are and how you THINK .

Just like a Priest that fears his own Libido , after his vow of Celibacy ,,,

You begin to fear your own self ,,, by that I mean , the SELF that you promote yourself to be ,,

Devastating as it is , it was exactly what I deserved and required .

I had within my soul , the sweetness of a babies sigh ,,,, mixed with the selfishness
of a Hoarding Megalomaniac .

Various other conflicting characteristics ,,, that clashed and fought battles ,,,

at times , a battle of consciousness , and I'd lose , give in to temptation ,,,

and ,,,,

This Trip was taking me right back to each time I had failed myself and others
by making bad choices .

Near the end of the trip

I stopped struggling ,,, it's at the point when you gain the greatest acceptance of your faults ,,,

and then ,,, UNDERSTAND THEM ,,, to know , that in your ignorance of
the meaning of life ,,, you caused yourself mistakes ,,,

this is also about at the point in the trip ,,, that you stop running from you and decide to go with the flow and it's best you face yourself , in order to find
a way to live in TRUTH with others .

This point on , will be after the self discovery has been completed .


I was 15 years old , with no experience with drugs ,, I had no concept of what I had just ate ,, with exception of what i mentioned In the top post ::::::::::::

" It changes the way you perceive , was all I was told . "

I was less than a Novice ,,,

I was a baby .

No more perfect time in my life , could this journey have had it's beginning .

for a Rainbow to come to life ,,, it must be raining on someone somewhere .

As that Rain fell on me ,,, My personal inner Rainbow came to life .
08-14-2014, 02:51 AM #812
UniqueStranger Art in my heart
Posts:15,019 Threads:442 Joined:Jun 2012
To continue from the post above...I mean the double post above...it seems I interrupt the flow.
08-14-2014, 06:12 PM #813
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,340 Threads:231 Joined:Feb 2011
I discovered during the final steps of the Trip , that perhaps 70% of my personality
was self manipulated to fit what I thought was acceptable to others .

Acceptance and Acknowledgement ,,, seems to be so very important to a Human , that they go against their nature and manifest a false persona to gain these
from others .

A very strong urge to fit in , a feeling of a need to be accepted into the popular
group ,,

to be a member of the Folks who have the key to the Club House ,,,

I thought to myself : " What a waste ,, To live my life attempting to
impress others "

Fractal ,,, Owes to the knowledge that we are all members of the same club ,,

none less
none more

we are equal in unitary content .

Taken back to a time of my early childhood ( around 3 years old )
I watched in the minds theater , an event in which I was first made aware by my
Parent , of Authority and the pecking order of the Society in which we
were a unit of .

The president of the U.S. was on T.V. delivering a speech .

I asked who the Man was , The parent pointed out he was the President ,
and he was the most important person in the country .

Important ?

He was the BOSS of everyone in the Country ?

His say so , told everyone how and what to do ?

He ? He made all decisions for everyone ?

I recalled what I thought of this news at the time .

" WHY , is one person smarter than us ? "
Why does he have control over all of us ? "

As a child , I knew .

Something was wrong with the picture .

it did not make sense that the man on the T.V. ,,, or anyone should
be powerful and Boss over anyone .

For certainly ,,, he could not be anymore special in any way than any of us .

When I queried further ,,,

The Parent explained : " He is SMARTER than us "

Smarter than even you ?

" Oh Yes "

That confounded me to no end .

Think as a child for a moment .


Today , 44 years after the Trip ,,, I still maintain that which I was born with .

for I had relived that one single event from that childhood ,, and recalled
how I perceived the FALSE authority of others.
08-19-2014, 02:18 AM #814
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,340 Threads:231 Joined:Feb 2011
If Tom was asleep , you could bet he was drooling from the mouth ,

he'd leave a little pool of drool everywhere he ever slept .

That's why I never let him fall asleep in my Car while we drove to work each morning .

Every mile we drove ,,I'd glance a sideways temper toward his side of the VW Bug ,,

If I caught him with his chin on chest posture ,, I hit the brake and bounce his forehead of the windshield to wake him ,,,

" YOU DICK ! "

is all he say to me , so ,,, what'd I have to lose each moring ?

Nothing ,,, in fact ,,, I'd get such a laugh out of it ,,, that I though to start paying him
to fall asleep while I drove ,,,

it's only right to pay our entertainers after all ..

One July Monday Morning , during the week that it was Toms turn to drive
us to work in his car ,,
I was checking out a Babe , dressed to the nines , in a car beside us as we did 60mph down the 405 freeway ,,,,

she was to our right ,, and man she had the Ta Ta's with a whip cream topping ,,

Toms mazda began to get closer and closer to her car ,,,

as we sped up ,,

I looked over at him to tell him to slow up and pace the chick with the Bazooma's

His chin was past his chest and near his belt line ,,,

OH OH !!

I pushed the side of his head yelling " LOOK OUT ,,, you'll kill my next
girlfriend ya ass tater "

that Bone head jumped , let go of the wheel , and slammed his hands to the dash ,,

to hold his head back from the windshield ,,,,

you see , while he slept there beside me ,,,

he was dreaming that I was driving ,,,

we hit her car

I got her number

Tom never drove us to work after that one

I found out a few nights later ,,,,
that outside of that support Bra ,,,

her Taters looked like saggy sweat socks filled with sand ,,,

I let her go get her car fixed elsewhere ,,,

I ain't fixing no chicks car ,,, and settle for a suck on sweat socks ,,,
08-19-2014, 02:36 AM #815
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,340 Threads:231 Joined:Feb 2011
Just like Rap , Punk Rock came out of a dark crack in the ass of Satan ,,,
and raised it's stupid head one day ,,

No one knew exactly where it came from ,, nor did anyone care ,, but everyone
knew they wanted it to DIE !

Except ,,,,,

Except for the Scuzz Squad ,,,,

You see ,,, the Scuzz Squad was this group of hopelessly Homely Chicks ,,

They earned they monicker by being so ugly ,, not even their own dildos would do them .

I believe they loved Punk Rock , because it gave ugly people a chance to be
fashionable ,, and sometimes even popular ,,,

it certainly gave the Fashion that matched their looks .

about 5 years after the Scuzz Squad had graduated High School ,,,

One of them actually had turned out not that scuzzy ,,, she grew nice bumps
where the bumps were appreciated ,, up high ,,,,
and her hair began to actually grow out finally ,,, instead of that ,,

ugh ,,,

Baby peach fuzz she never got rid of from childhood .

Ok , she had that funky bulbous snostril still ,, but her screws a Nose ?

Her Name was Tina ,,,
and one day I ran into her ,,,
She asked for a ride home from the Market

then asked me to come in ,,,

Tina " Let's f_ck Rog' , as she walked out of the Bathroom bare to the ,, yum !

I have to say ,, she had the tonest bod with bitchen ass curves

we did it for a couple times

then ,, as always ,,

I left ,,,

next I knew ,,,

it was all over town that she got some of the Rog' ,,,

and that gave the other scuzz's HOPE !

oh why'd I do it ????
08-20-2014, 07:04 AM #816
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,340 Threads:231 Joined:Feb 2011
~~~~~ dateline 1974 ,,, Hermosa Beach Calif ~~~~~~~~~~~~

Rog' at the Beach playing Volley Ball

Suddenly , the most stuck up Chick from his High School shows up
in a Bikini ,,,

Waves at Rog' , and Lays out her towel to watch him play

( She is as Flat chested as Rog's Surf Board .
yet a SNOB !

Trish : " Hi Rog' ,, I didn't know you came here , I thought you only
played at Manhattan beach "

Rog' with a distinct aversion to her : " I was invited by your friend Diana ,
we slept together last night ,, she wanted more later , so we came together
to play here .

Trish with a SHOCKED face : " You asshole ,
she wouldn't sleep with a pig like you ?

Rog' Imitating A Korean Liquor store owner ::::::

" You no tit ,, "

" you no grow Tit ",,,,

You no Tit , you fine ass , but you no Tit "

" You need grow Tit ,,, you no Tit ,,, why you no Tit ,,, you scared when Baby ,,
and now you no grow Tit ? "

You got ass , plenty Ass ,,, but you no Tit ,, see ( as I walk up and point with
my finger 2 inches from here no Tits )

Ya , you grow too much plenty Ass , but you no grow plenty Tit ,,
grow Tit ,,, hurry ,,, cause Ass be so big soon ,,, Tit never catch up "
08-24-2014, 07:19 PM #817
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,340 Threads:231 Joined:Feb 2011
~~~~~ Sunshine Daydream , Impossible Events , where it all led to ~~~~

This is a portion out of one of the chapters i wrote for my latest book

chapter is entitled : " Behind the trails "

what was behind what we experienced ,, the motives , our views afterward ,
and ,,,,

where those trails would lead us

second paragraph begins :::

1971,,,,,,, as it was :::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::::

""" He was the Guy with the bags under his eyes , always staring out ,
into night time skies ,,

Her , with eyes of deep turquoise , those kind that trance you , and you fall
into them .

I , I was the teenager , shine to the smile , that could open cracks into the darkest
corners of a persons mind ,,

left to my center and below my elbow , midway between chin and lip
sat " Satire " ,,,, whom everyone loved , as I would have , if i only trusted
a little more .

Satire sang always ,,, everywhere she went ,, walked like a poem ,,, seeking it's
end .

Constant was the happiness ,, nothing brings good souls down for long .

Thoughts were exchanged for no price , just given and received politely ,,
even donned seedlings of truth here and there .

Eye of Bags , once flipped a gaze suddenly , in my direct position ,,
and , as a reply verbally , was not required ,, I simply complied to the request
and handed over another grin ,, with rainbows for garnishes .

Too deep eyes smiled back my way , and I knew we loved each other , but distantly .

I wonder now , whether we should have indulged our desires for one another ,,,

but no , some things are simply fated to predestine , and it is as it should have been .

Ms. Sexy little ass , walked with a swagger whenever she saw me around ,,
She like to Temp the pretty boys ,, just to withhold her favors and watch their disappointed countenance flow from the hearts , she tormented .

Comets fall ,,, Stars shoot ,,, and simple minds ,,, well they just muse through ,,
wondering ,,,
always wondering ,, never thinking ,,, just wondering .

Now , as then , I seldom fear that turn of the page ,, however , this one turn ,,
tossed an image , not too bad a picture actually ,, but a stirring one .

The Verse went :

" I don't know ,,,,,,,,,, but I've been told ,,,

if you dance all day ,,,, you'll never grow old ,,,,

and ,,
Just as often ,,, I've heard it said ,,,

if you don't dance at all ,,,

you may as well be dead "

~~~~~ End ~~~~

No one complained ,, but we changed the color anyway ,,,
from a rusty primer red ,,,
to bright sky blue ,,, replete with magenta pin stripes , bossed deeper
than Sunset from an island in an unknown Sea .

we added chrome rims and fat tires ,,,
and christened her ,,,,

" Soquillity "

She was a '56 , Chevy Panel delivery ,,, waiting for Love to bring her back to
youthful prance ,,,,,,

Soul-eyes added an 8 track Tape deck ,, and some bootleg live shows ,,

I put the carpet in and we used recliners for seats ,, straight out of the living room ,,
the love seat was two and one half inches too long ,,

so we ,, well , no one liked those chairs anyway .

On the eve that an electrical storm swamped L.A. ,, we endeavored the first road trip in her ,,,

and found we had forgot to check the wiper blades ,,

nothing ,,,could I see ,,, so I pulled over and waited for the storm to drop a little ,,

Cops eying us with disdain ,, but left us alone , for fear they may be coerced into
helping us ,,,

Turquoise eyes warmed my ears with her whisper and a few sweet sighs ,,,,,
love touched that small nerve in the joint between your heart and mind ,,
and the touch became a solid state " Good House keeping Seal of Approval " grab on me .

Light bulbs began to pop out all over the sky above the Sea ,,, the waves sounded ,,
and further I lapsed into her breathing on my neck ,,, the bright in those eyes ,,
she leaned into my lips ,, soft, , very light kiss ,,

I was done ,,, over done ,,,
and sad eyes began to find reasons for leaving the road for the night .

You tip the waitress , and I'll treat the meals ,, just don't be cheap about it .

only rule I have for the road trips we take ,,, just don't be a sting with the tips .

My mother was a waitress ,, "no tips " should have their tushes super glued
shut .

Nasal noise at night , when sleeping with many friends in one vehicle ,,
" Arlo ",,, was a jackhammer snore type ,, a squirrel once dropped a pine cone on him for snoring under her tree .
I heard it hit his forehead ,, too dark to see it happen though ,,

funny it was too , cause he rose up cussing at the Squirrel ,,, like he knew
before hand that it was her ,,,,,,,, he musta been dreaming about squirrels ,,

he's like that , he even thinks in dreams ,, I don't think reality was ready for Arlo ,

he kinda came into the World at a time of change ,,, but still ,,, the World
was not prepared for his kind of changes .

I always wondered why the World didn't just kick him out .

~~~~ End ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You may not clearly recall your birth , you may even wonder ,,
if you were born here at all , or just dropped off here by a Craft from
elsewhere ,,,

You may wonder ,
you may guess ,,,

you may never know for sure the truth of your Soul ,,,

I recall it all , past the Womb , and back into the World I call my true Home .

Been said , One single person can change the course of History ,,,

I'm sorry ,, but History is more fickle than linear ,, it's humps and curves ,, allow for nothing concrete nor specific ,,,

You can only wonder what History may have been had not a certain single person changed it ,,,

Truth is , they changed nothing about History ,,, History happens ,
and how it happens ,,, may be the way it was going to happen anyway .

but I doubt that a bit .

We suppose there may be a predestined history ,,,
but to what extent can an alternate be manifested if at all ?

Obama promised CHANGE ,,,

Did anyone believe it would be a change to the better ?

Hitler was a Change ,

But I doubt seriously he changed History ,,,

History ( Future Tense ) is of and by it's own , and nothing is going to change that .

Over Lapping Memes are by rote ,,,, going to create conflicting energy waves
in the thought streams ,,,

Memes can by that truth , be known to arm wrestle themselves into
an impasse ,,, where nothing comes to fruition ,,,,,,,,

I have always thought it strange ,,,,

That people would rely on LEADERS to create a change for them ,,,

For as I think , I change my situation on my own self reliance ,,,,

and those who await a leader to change their situation for them ,,,

are hopeless losers .

We create our situation by either allowing or disallowing others
to manipulate it .

I'll take my situation by my own hands every chance I can find .

To fondle the thoughts ,,, to manipulate your reality for yourself ,,,

How scarey can it be , that people refuse to at the least , make an attempt at it for themselves ?

How selfish , Lazy , and cowardice , that is of them .

and how fitting that they suffer the fate others give them by their own consent .
08-24-2014, 07:53 PM #818
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,340 Threads:231 Joined:Feb 2011
As a Child in Redondo Beach Calif .

My Horizon was blocked by houses ,, and sight of it was so limited as to give me little hope of seeing a longer , wider ,, future for myself .

I longed to travel beyond what scenery was available per my sight line at
3ft 2in . height .

At the advent of my first drivers license ,,, I obtained the ability to drive to the Mountains and from there ,,, look down on my World I grew in ,,,
with a broader ,, more expansive visual .

Travel was now possible ,,,

so I took the road .

Contact with others outside my small neighborhood ,,,, gave me a greater
Book of knowledge to glean from ,,,,

and I found through that venue ,,, just how ignorant the people I'd been around truly were .

The further out I went from home base , the more varied the thought processes
I came in contact with ,,,,

and soon ,,, I had a compilation of various thought processes to : " VIEW " the World .

A person can find themselves excepting anything they come in contact with ,,
as long as it is something they are conditioned to view as NORMAL .

In a Lunatic Asylum ,,, the Nutz are comfortable with the Lunacy around them .

It is a rare Nut , who views differently than the other Nutz .

As a Misfit , I must be a Walnut amongst the Macadamia's .
09-02-2014, 07:56 AM #819
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,340 Threads:231 Joined:Feb 2011
Outline of the Western Civilized Thought Processes .

" To the Victor go the spoils "

Are you sitting in a Western Society ?


Everything you believe in , is a manufactured pretentious delusion .

In the Americas

You are sitting on conquered Soil .

And a few Fat Bastards out of the many who conquered this soil ,
and it's aborigines ,,,,,,,,,,,, STOLE ALL THE SPOILS .

You own none of it

You serve the Fat who took it all .

Proud of your nation , aren't you ?

It is NOT,,,,,,,,,,, " YOUR " Nation , you serve the owners , and they brainwashed you
to believe it is YOUR COUNTRY , to insure you remain loyal to THEM and keep
serving THEM .

Un-think all you have been brainwashed to believe

Unlearn your controlled THOUGHTS

and attempt to SEE what is TRUE about this system you support until
you drop dead .


try to VIEW the World without the Blinders .


Guess who you are ,,,,

that's right ,,, YOU ,,,, are not a CEO of this Corporation .

You are a Grunt that propels the Grind Stone that chews you up .

You have a PIMP

and that Pimp has you believing you are FREE and have RIGHTS and CHOICES

You have NONE

Now go pay $4 for a Gallon of gas , $5 for a loaf of Bread

and $7.50 for a pack of Cig's .

Go get your child a Toy for $199.95 ,,, that is made of cheap Chinese Plastic
which the true value of is about 13 cents

it cost on average : $15 a day in fuel ,,for the U.S. citizen to travel to and from work
and $10 of that Fuel Cost is Taxes .

$10 in fuel taxes
33 % in deductions from the gross income earned , in taxes .

so if you make $200 a day ( yeah right ,,, if you're lucky enough to even have a job )

You pay $10 in Fuel Tax

$66 a day income tax

that's a cost of $76 a day in tax

add Tobacco tax if you smoke
add sales tax if you eat or purchase a product

Literally , """ HALF """" of your income is just swiped away from you .

Nice Ponzi Scheme ,,,, is it not ?

How did a few Corporations get ALL the Oil Rights to an entire Hemisphere ?

and why do you not own what you helped STEAL from the Indigenous ?

I mean , you fought and built this country ( rather your ancestors did )

Why don't you get some of the spoils ?

ANSWER : because your ancestors were also Brainwashed as you are, and they did not
demand their share of the spoils at the time .
09-11-2014, 01:33 AM #820
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,340 Threads:231 Joined:Feb 2011
In my days of working for others

I would panic each morning to the sound of the alarm clock ,,,, EEK !

years of that conditioning to panic over the two hands on a clock ,,,

was a bitch to break that and release it .

I'm unaware of the first time I awoke , that I did not panic and look at the clock .

I do know that I never panic any more about what time it is .

But my point is ,,, conditioning ,,,

and how the effects are such an ass to break out of .

since 2007 , I don't think I've even once asked what time it is .

Seven years of freedom from the CLOCK

Tic Tic Tic ,,,,

There is a Couple ,,, they have a really nice 38 foot sailboat

They dream to retire , sail it down the Columbia River to the pacific Ocean ,,

and down the west coast of the U.S. ,,,, and eventually end up near Cabo San Lucas
Mexico ,,,, to live until they move down to the Panama Canal , and through it to the Gulf and into the Caribbean to Sail around to various islands and Countries .

but that's after they retire .

They are still stuck to the CLOCK for the moment

As we discussed this

I pointed out what they could do to make a living while Sailing around ,,,

Like run a Charter Business with the Sailboat ,,

Sell Sun Block on the Beach to tourist even

whatever it takes ,,, just drop the clock and allow it to break ....

get gone NOW

for life can be lived really cheaply , and money is easier to make than we believe .

What they kept coming up with for reasons of not doing it yet ,,,,

were all FEAR Based reasons ,,,,

well ,,,

I fear not being free to do it .
09-11-2014, 01:44 AM #821
Shadow Incognito Anonymous
Had a similar chat with a friend of mine this afternoon.

When she lived in Vancouver she drove a rusted old Chev. Every morning she'd wave at the neighbor working in the yard. The yard with a BMW and Mercedes parked in the drive. The neighbor never waved back. Then one morning my friend is going to work and there's a repo co. towing away the Mercedes and the BMW.

My friend rolls her window down, slaps the side of her old Chev and yells "PAID FOR"

09-11-2014, 01:46 AM #822
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:41,169 Threads:1,536 Joined:Feb 2011
I have to comment on the clock phenomenon though, it fascinates me. I haven't wore a watch or any time measuring equipment since decades. But back when I was on a tight schedule when the kids had school and all that stuff I always had the kitchen clock set about 4 minutes ahead so that I would keep myself on time. I knew how powerful of a tool it was that even if I knew I was good on time it stressed me to hell to see that.

What's fascinating is that these time measuring devices are so luxurious that you can get them diamond encrusted and probably your puppy's first tooth and husband's last hair all embedded into them for millions of dollars.

Amazing times, although I can't properly keep track of it.
09-11-2014, 01:50 AM #823
Shadow Incognito Anonymous
I can't wear a watch, the battery dies in a day. Over and over. Wind up ones sure, but I haven't got one of those.
09-11-2014, 02:00 AM #824
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:41,169 Threads:1,536 Joined:Feb 2011
I actually never wore one that was not a wind up anon.gif
09-11-2014, 02:09 AM #825
Shadow Incognito Anonymous
(09-11-2014, 02:00 AM)Octo Wrote:  I actually never wore one that was not a wind up anon.gif

Smart girl. Be interesting to know if you could. Diviners (water witches) usually can't.



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