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Best Craigslist add ever
01-17-2013, 05:13 AM #1
yankees skier
Posts:5,898 Threads:215 Joined:Feb 2011
Best ever.

Biere.
01-17-2013, 08:02 AM #2
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:8,771 Threads:206 Joined:Feb 2011
sheeet yankees

that ain't shït

you ever read one of my adds on CL ,,

Dude I win Emmys
01-17-2013, 08:12 AM #3
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:8,771 Threads:206 Joined:Feb 2011
Case in point

here is an add i ran on CL last year

heh heh

and it is all true too



~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


WONDER WHY YOUR BIKE WAS STOLEN ???


HMMM,,, ? WELL DO YOU ?

HERE IS YOUR DUMMY LIST OF REASONS WHY

1. FIRST ON THE LIST IS : YOU WENT TO A BAR, YOU DRANK TO EXCESS, YOU LEFT IT LOCKED AT THE BAR
AND WANDERED ELSESHERE
THIEF CAME BY, GEESZE ANOTHER STUPID DRINKING FOOL LEFT ME A BIKE

BIKE GONE AND,,,,,, YOU LOSE

2. MEASURE 11,,, KNOW WHAT THAT IS ? IT'S A LAW THAT SAYS IF YOU BEAT THE CRAP OUT OF A THIEF WHEN YOU CATCH HIM RED HANDED WITH YOUR BIKE ,,,
YOU GO TO PRISON
AND THE THIEF GETS TO SUE YOU

THIEVES KNOW THAT ,,, AND,,, THEY KNOW IF THEY ARE CAUGHT ,, YOU AND THE LAW WILL PROTECT THEM.

THAT IS WHY THEY ARE BRAZEN AND STEAL FROM YOU.

3. YOU PAID $1,100 FOR A BIKE ,,, BUT YOU PAID $2 AT A YARD SELL FOR AN OLD CABLE LOCK

FIGURE YOU OUT, BECAUSE I CANNOT FATHOM THAT ONE

4. YOU LIVE IN A SLUM ,, PORTLAND IS A LOSER SLUM TOWN FULL OF BUMS
THERE ARE ENOUGH BUMS IN PORTLAND TO PUT TWO FOR EACH CORNER OF EVERY INTERSECTION IN TOWN

YET,,, YOU THINK LEAVING YOUR BIKE UNATTENDED AND IN PLAIN SIGHT OF THIEVES,, THAT IT IS GOING TO BE SAFE

GOOD BYE BIKE,,, AND HERE'S YOUR SIGN------ " DUH ? "

LOCK IT UP WITH U-LOCKS AND CHAIN YOUR RIMS AND TIRES TOO.

EASY ENOUGH TO DO

I HAVE BOUGHT ,,, RESTORED AND SOLD OVER 280 BIKES IN A YEAR AND A HALF

90% OF THE PEOPLE WHO BOUGHT MY LEGALLY ACQUIRED BIKES, STATE THEY ARE BUYING IT BECAUSE THEIR BIKE WAS JUST STOLEN

ALL DAY ON CRAIGSLIST ARE ADD'S BY PEOPLE STATING THEIR BIKE WAS STOLEN
THEY EVEN TELL YOU DETAILS

I CRINGE WHEN I READ HOW STUPID THEY WERE WITH AN EXPENSIVE BIKE

FACE IT, FACE THE TRUTH ,,, YOU ARE LIVING THROUGH A DEPRESSION,,, NOT A RECESSION

IT IS DESPERATE OUT THERE FOLKS

GET IN TOUCH WITH REALITY,,, YOU CAN KEEP PORTLAND WEIRD WITHOUT KEEPING IT STUPID AND OR INSANE .

PUNISH THE THIEVES WHEN YOU CATCH THEM,,,, PUT THEM IN JAIL

IT SOMETIMES WORKS AS A DETERRENT,,, BELIEVE IT OR NOT


THE AREA OF EAST BROADWAY NEAR LLOYD CENTER AND SAFEWAY IS FULL OF BIKE THIEVES

SO IS ANYWHERE NEAR SE 82ND

GET LAZY,,, LOSE YOUR BIKE

GET STUPID,,, LOSE A BIKE EVERY TIME YOU GET ONE

LOCK THEM UP ! INDOORS WHEN YOU CAN,,,, NEVER LEAVE YOUR BIKE OUTSIDE OVER NIGHT
AT BEST,,, YOUR RIMS WILL BE STOLEN

AT WORST ,, THE WHOLE BIKE WILL BE STOLEN

TIME FOR YOU ADULTS TO BECOME ADULT IN YOUR ACTIVITIES AND THINKING

AS A BIKE BUILDER,, I AM SICK OF THE SNIVELING BY PEOPLE WHO LOSE BECAUSE OF THEIR REFUSAL TO BE
RESPONSIBLE

NOW,,, DO THE RIGHT THING,,, BUST AND IMPRISON THE BIKE THIEVES, LIBERAL ONLY WORKS IN PARADISE
THIS IS NOT PARADISE
IT IS A SLUM.

Location: NE SLUMS
01-17-2013, 08:27 AM #4
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:8,771 Threads:206 Joined:Feb 2011
and here is another of my swell adds that insults the Slum Bunnies of
Portland

gad i wuv my ass chuckle.gif




*********************~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~**************************))




SEE THE PHOTO'S ????

DO YOU KNOW WHAT THESE ARE ?

OK THEN, DON'T BE A STUPID ,, BE A SMARTY ,,, COME BUY THEM SO YOUR BIKE CAN PARTY

BTW,,, THESE ARE""""""" BOMBSHELL'''''''''''''''' FATBOY '"""RIMS WITHOUT AXLES

BUT,,, YOU CAN HANDLE PUTTING THE AXLES IN ,,, CAN'T YOU ?

SURE YOU CAN NEIGHBOR ( WON'T CHA' BE MY NEIGHBOR ? ,,, SURE,,, I KNEW YOU COULD )

NOW COME ON DOWN TO THE CEMENT POND IN SEATTLES SOUTHERN SLUM AREA KNOWN AS PORTLAND

I BE BABBLING ON THE NE SIDE OF THE SLUM NEAR NE SLUMMY BROADWAY AND NE 20TH SLUMMY AVE.

CALLS ONLY,,, DO NOT TEXT THIS PHONE ,,,,,,,,,, BITE ON THE DEAL OF THE DANGED DAY

Location: NE SLUM AREA OF PORTLAND
01-17-2013, 08:33 AM #5
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:8,771 Threads:206 Joined:Feb 2011
and another awesome ass add of mine


and believe it or not

this shït actually sold

that is how stupid Portland Puppys are


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~




OK STUPID ,, YOUR MONEY IS STUPID , AND YOU NEED TO UN-STUPID YOUR WALLET !

MY BIKE IS STUPID ,,, AND I NEED SOME STUPID MONEY ,,, AND CLEAR OUT MY STUPID GARAGE .

SO HERE IS A STUPID IDEA OF A STUPID DEAL ,,,

YOU STUPIDLY CALL MY STUPID A$$,,, USING MY STUPID CELL PHONE'S STUPID NUMBER ,,,

FOLLOW MY STUPID BAD SELF AS YET ?

OK,,, AS I ANSWER,,, YOU ASK A STUPID QUESTION,, LIKE ,,, IS THE BIKE STILL FOR SALE ?

AND I ANSWER YOUR STUPID QUESTION WITH ANOTHER STUPID QUESTION,,, LIKE ,,,

UH,,, WHY ? YOU STUPID ENOUGH TO BUY IT OR SOMETHING ?

YOU,,, STUPIDLY REPLY : WHY YES INDEED ,,, I AM JUST THAT STUPID,,,

I THEN TELL YOU HOW TO MEET ME AND MY STUPID BIKE

YOU FOLLOW MY STUPID DIRECTIVES AND FIND ME AND

THE STUPID BIKE ,,,

WE EXCHANGE OUR STUPIDITY WITH EACH OTHER

YOU GO ON YOUR STUPID WAY WITH A STUPID BIKE ,,,

I GO ON MY STUPID WAY WITH ALL YOUR STUPID CASH ,,,

AND THE STUPID NEIGHBORHOOD DRUNKEN STUPID BUM ,,, GETS BACK HIS SLEEP SACK
AND SPOT TO SLEEP ON MY STUPID GARAGE FLOOR .

SOUND LIKE A SOUND PLAN ,,, STAN ?

WELL ALRIGHTY THEN ,,, Mr Chin,, come stupidly over here and stupidly buy this stupid bike already ,,, why don't 'cha,,, Mr. Magoo ?
huh ? why don't cha buy a stupid bike ?

do not text my STUPID phone stupid numbers

Location: NE STUPID PORTSNORTS
01-17-2013, 08:36 AM #6
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:8,771 Threads:206 Joined:Feb 2011
rofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifyay.gifyay.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gif

that add right there should have made BEST of Craigslist by Goddess .

damn right it should have lmao.gifrofl.giflol.gifchuckle.gifwtf2.gifwtf2.gifwtf2.gif
01-17-2013, 02:54 PM #7
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:10,784 Threads:647 Joined:Feb 2011
Quote:This isn't paid, but I have a doctor's prescription pad (a long story) and I can write you a prescription for basically anything you want.


I wonder how many cops replied to his ad...


coffeetime.gif

Politicians hide themselves away
They only started the war
Why should they go out to fight?
They leave that role to poor
01-17-2013, 03:03 PM #8
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:43,018 Threads:1,474 Joined:Feb 2011
Quote:Nothing weird is going to happen.

I think weird already happened. lmao.gif rofl.gif
hadriya9091 Show this Post
01-17-2013, 03:06 PM #9
hadriya9091 Incognito Anonymous
 
Yes i also agree ...
01-17-2013, 03:09 PM #10
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:10,784 Threads:647 Joined:Feb 2011
(01-17-2013, 03:03 PM)Octo Wrote:  
Quote:Nothing weird is going to happen.

I think weird already happened. lmao.gif rofl.gif




Whatever do you mean?



İmage



damned.gif

Politicians hide themselves away
They only started the war
Why should they go out to fight?
They leave that role to poor
01-17-2013, 03:16 PM #11
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:43,018 Threads:1,474 Joined:Feb 2011
(01-17-2013, 03:06 PM)hadriya9091 Wrote:  Yes i also agree ...


Welcome Hadriya! cheers.gif


Holy crap Kreeper. damned.gif
01-17-2013, 03:39 PM #12
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:10,784 Threads:647 Joined:Feb 2011
What?


What did I do?



Well?



I'm listening...



İmage

Politicians hide themselves away
They only started the war
Why should they go out to fight?
They leave that role to poor
01-17-2013, 03:41 PM #13
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:10,784 Threads:647 Joined:Feb 2011
Weirdest, and scariest, of all...



İmage



Are they remaking Deliverance?


damned.gif

Politicians hide themselves away
They only started the war
Why should they go out to fight?
They leave that role to poor
01-17-2013, 03:47 PM #14
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:10,784 Threads:647 Joined:Feb 2011
I can't wait to see your response...


İmage




lmao.gif

Politicians hide themselves away
They only started the war
Why should they go out to fight?
They leave that role to poor
01-17-2013, 03:47 PM #15
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:31,396 Threads:1,439 Joined:Feb 2011
(01-17-2013, 03:39 PM)Kreeper Wrote:  What?


What did I do?



Well?



I'm listening...



İmage


That looks like my uncle dad from Kentucky. chuckle.gif

wonder.gif



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