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Breaking News From LONDON
12-07-2019, 06:46 AM #1
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,384 Threads:988 Joined:Mar 2011
BREAKING NEWS FROM LONDON. Equality campaigners have welcomed plans to rename Big Ben as part of a project celebrating London’s rich cultural heritage.
The famous landmark, which is due to undergo extensive refurbishment next week, is to be called ‘Massive Mohammed’ from new year to reflect the city’s growing diversity.
“London is a city of many faiths and many nationalities, so it’s only right that its famous landmarks are representative of that rich cultural melting pot,” said project manager, Libby Tardy.
“We’ve had a Muslim mayor since 2016 and according to the Daily Mail over 87% of Londoners are now Muslim, so we are confident that the public will really embrace the new nickname.”
Due to health and safety fears, ‘Massive Mo’ will be silenced during the four-year renovation period, however, Tardy revealed that large speakers installed at the top of the tower will instead play the Muslim call to prayer every hour upon the hour. She also told the Herald that the Mayor’s office had been consulting with a range of different faith groups to seek their views on modifying other existing landmarks.
“Renaming the London Eye the ‘London Third Eye’ has been popular with Hindus and Buddhists, and we’re currently trying to persuade London Zoo to make its collection more kosher-friendly for the sake of its Jewish visitors. We did suggest changing Blackfriars to ‘Friars of Colour’ but many people thought that that was just a bridge too far,” she said.
“We do keep receiving letters in crayon from somebody called Paul Golding, demanding that we change Mornington Crescent to Mornington Cross, but Christians already have Westminster Abbey, St. Paul’s Cathedral, and ‘Joseph and his Technicolour Dreamcoat’ at the West End, so they can f*ck right off.”
When asked to comment on the project, a spokesman for London Mayor Sadiq Khan said, “What a load of utter bollocks. You’ve made this whole thing up. It’s like the ‘halal countdown’ thing all over again.
“Now if you’ll excuse me, Mr. Khan has a meeting with the Islamic Council in five minutes about their plans to turn St. Paul’s into a mosque. That dome is going to look glorious in gold''
Anonymous Kritter Show this Post
12-07-2019, 09:43 AM #2
Anonymous Kritter Incognito
 
(12-07-2019, 06:46 AM)ocker1 Wrote:  BREAKING NEWS FROM LONDON. Equality campaigners have welcomed plans to rename Big Ben as part of a project celebrating London’s rich cultural heritage.
The famous landmark, which is due to undergo extensive refurbishment next week, is to be called ‘Massive Mohammed’ from new year to reflect the city’s growing diversity.
“London is a city of many faiths and many nationalities, so it’s only right that its famous landmarks are representative of that rich cultural melting pot,” said project manager, Libby Tardy.
“We’ve had a Muslim mayor since 2016 and according to the Daily Mail over 87% of Londoners are now Muslim, so we are confident that the public will really embrace the new nickname.”
Due to health and safety fears, ‘Massive Mo’ will be silenced during the four-year renovation period, however, Tardy revealed that large speakers installed at the top of the tower will instead play the Muslim call to prayer every hour upon the hour. She also told the Herald that the Mayor’s office had been consulting with a range of different faith groups to seek their views on modifying other existing landmarks.
“Renaming the London Eye the ‘London Third Eye’ has been popular with Hindus and Buddhists, and we’re currently trying to persuade London Zoo to make its collection more kosher-friendly for the sake of its Jewish visitors. We did suggest changing Blackfriars to ‘Friars of Colour’ but many people thought that that was just a bridge too far,” she said.
“We do keep receiving letters in crayon from somebody called Paul Golding, demanding that we change Mornington Crescent to Mornington Cross, but Christians already have Westminster Abbey, St. Paul’s Cathedral, and ‘Joseph and his Technicolour Dreamcoat’ at the West End, so they can f*ck right off.”
When asked to comment on the project, a spokesman for London Mayor Sadiq Khan said, “What a load of utter bollocks. You’ve made this whole thing up. It’s like the ‘halal countdown’ thing all over again.
“Now if you’ll excuse me, Mr. Khan has a meeting with the Islamic Council in five minutes about their plans to turn St. Paul’s into a mosque. That dome is going to look glorious in gold''

Forgive my ignorance, but this has to be a joke, saying 87% of Londoners are mooslims cannot be true.
12-07-2019, 10:04 AM #3
UniqueStranger Art in my heart
Posts:15,718 Threads:473 Joined:Jun 2012
I'm stunned...the most popular name in the U.S. for boys is at this particular time 'Mohammad", so there ya go.
12-07-2019, 01:45 PM #4
Decaf Member
Posts:194 Threads:7 Joined:Apr 2018
lol.gif  is that satire?
12-08-2019, 12:36 AM #5
nona Incognito
 
Doesn't the name ( Libby Tardy)  said project manager, Libby Tardy..... Raise any red flags or is it just me?
12-08-2019, 01:34 AM #6
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,384 Threads:988 Joined:Mar 2011
(12-08-2019, 12:36 AM)nona Wrote:  Doesn't the name ( Libby Tardy)  said project manager, Libby Tardy..... Raise any red flags or is it just me?


 yeah --- you've got to wonder about some peoples sense of humour
12-08-2019, 01:41 AM #7
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,384 Threads:988 Joined:Mar 2011
it's a strange world we live in
12-09-2019, 04:37 PM #8
Sandy Incognito
 
(12-08-2019, 12:36 AM)nona Wrote:  Doesn't the name ( Libby Tardy)  said project manager, Libby Tardy..... Raise any red flags or is it just me?

lol.gif



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