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Dear Santa
12-11-2012, 06:35 PM #1
yankees skier
Posts:5,898 Threads:215 Joined:Feb 2011
Dear Santa,
How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.

Merry Christmas,
Timmy Jones



Dear Timmy,
Thank you for your letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you something you can go outside and play with.

Merry Christmas,
Santa Claus



Mr. Claus,
Seeing that I have fulfilled the "naughty vs. nice" contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?

Respectfully,
Tim Jones



Mr. Jones,
While I have acknowledged you have met the "nice" criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorneys have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve you social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.

Very Truly Yours,
S Claus



Now look here Fat Man, I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I'm taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!

T-Bone



Listen Pizza Face,
Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny g-banger wannabe? "He sees you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake". Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your sh*t wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your Totino's pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom's basement. You're not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in your a** and then walk it dry.

Chew on that,
Petunia.
S Clizzy



Dear Santa,
Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.

Timmy



Timmy,
That's what I thought, you little bastard.

Santa

Biere.
12-11-2012, 06:42 PM #2
UniqueStranger Art in my heart
Posts:15,064 Threads:428 Joined:Jun 2012
That sounds like arguments in those "other" forum between admins and sheeple. wtf2.gif

lol.gif

Canada Post...bah humbug. Letters to North Pole now require stamp. WTF

http://www.torontosun.com/2012/12/02/can...ta-letters
12-11-2012, 08:33 PM #3
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:10,784 Threads:647 Joined:Feb 2011
(12-11-2012, 06:42 PM)UniqueStranger Wrote:  That sounds like arguments in those "other" forum between admins and sheeple. wtf2.gif

lol.gif

Canada Post...bah humbug. Letters to North Pole now require stamp. WTF

http://www.torontosun.com/2012/12/02/can...ta-letters


A stamp? Just text that shït to Santa.


chuckle.gif

Politicians hide themselves away
They only started the war
Why should they go out to fight?
They leave that role to poor
12-11-2012, 08:42 PM #4
UniqueStranger Art in my heart
Posts:15,064 Threads:428 Joined:Jun 2012
(12-11-2012, 08:33 PM)Kreeper Wrote:  
(12-11-2012, 06:42 PM)UniqueStranger Wrote:  That sounds like arguments in those "other" forum between admins and sheeple. wtf2.gif

lol.gif

Canada Post...bah humbug. Letters to North Pole now require stamp. WTF

http://www.torontosun.com/2012/12/02/can...ta-letters


A stamp? Just text that shït to Santa.


chuckle.gif


Right, I guess they didn't think of that. wtf2.gif
12-11-2012, 09:35 PM #5
misterbumps Member
Posts:1,051 Threads:38 Joined:Apr 2012
(12-11-2012, 06:35 PM)yankees Wrote:  Dear Santa,
How are you? How is Mrs. Claus? I hope everyone, from the reindeer to the elves, is fine. I have been a very good boy this year. I would like an X-Box 360 with Call of Duty IV and an iPhone 4 for Christmas. I hope you remember that come Christmas Day.

Merry Christmas,
Timmy Jones



Dear Timmy,
Thank you for your letter. Mrs. Claus, the reindeer and the elves are all fine and thank you for asking about them. Santa is a little worried all the time you spend playing video games and texting. Santa wouldn't want you to get fat. Since you have indeed been a good boy, I think I'll bring you something you can go outside and play with.

Merry Christmas,
Santa Claus



Mr. Claus,
Seeing that I have fulfilled the "naughty vs. nice" contract, set by you I might add, I feel confident that you can see your way clear to granting me what I have asked for. I certainly wouldn't want to turn this joyous season into one of litigation. Also, don't you think that a jibe at my weight coming from an overweight man who goes out once a year is a bit trite?

Respectfully,
Tim Jones



Mr. Jones,
While I have acknowledged you have met the "nice" criteria, need I remind you that your Christmas list is a request and in no way is it a guarantee of services provided. Should you wish to pursue legal action, well that is your right. Please know, however, that my attorneys have been on retainer ever since the Burgermeister Meisterburger incident and will be more than happy to take you on in open court. Additionally, the exercise I alluded to will not only improve your health, but also improve you social skills and potentially help clear up a complexion that looks like the bottom of the Burger King fry bin most days.

Very Truly Yours,
S Claus



Now look here Fat Man, I told you what I want and I expect you to bring it. I was attempting to be polite about this but you brought my looks and my friends into this. Now you just be disrespecting me. I'm about to tweet my boys and we're gonna be waiting for your fat ass and I'm taking my game console, my game, my phone, and whatever else I want. WHAT EVER I WANT, MAN!

T-Bone



Listen Pizza Face,
Seriously??? You think a dude that breaks into every house in the world on one night and never gets caught sweats a skinny g-banger wannabe? "He sees you when you're sleeping; He knows when you're awake". Sound familiar, genius? You know what kind of resources I have at my disposal. I got your sh*t wired, Jack. I go all around the world and see ways to hurt people that if I described them right now, you'd throw up your Totino's pizza roll all over the carpet of your mom's basement. You're not getting what you asked for, but I'm still stopping by your crib to stomp a mud hole in your a** and then walk it dry.

Chew on that,
Petunia.
S Clizzy



Dear Santa,
Bring me whatever you see fit. I'll appreciate anything.

Timmy



Timmy,
That's what I thought, you little bastard.

Santa



lol.gif

'u little bastard' !!!!

I can see by your coat my friend you're from the other side. Just one thing I got to know. Who won?
12-12-2012, 12:21 AM #6
UniqueStranger Art in my heart
Posts:15,064 Threads:428 Joined:Jun 2012
İmage

13.gif



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