Good morning Octo, so now that I know you have curly coarse hair, I looked up in my book "The Medically Based No Nonsense Beauty Book" (I bought in my twenties) and it states that curly coarse hair is not dry hair, but to treat it as such will not lead to any improvement in its appearance.
Coarse, curly hair has a very strong, thick hair shaft. It is extremely healthy hair. The hair themselves have flexibility and elasticity, two vital signs fo well-conditioned hair. But the hair is so firm and so solidly fixed in its curly formation that it stands away from the head, like a stiff brush.
If this is true for you Octo, then here is the recommended program for you:
The shampoo should be plain, designed for normal hair; and contain absolutely no additives - such as herbs, balsam, or special oils.
Curly coarse hair is made for cream rinse. The rinse contains hair-softening ingredients that will help relax the hair. If the manufacturer advises to use one capful then use three capfuls and wrap your head in saran wrap which will conserve heat and moisture. In any event, leave the conditioner on for 15 minutes.
This program is basically similar for older women with dry hair, with the only addition being:
After your hair is dry, rub some hair conditioning cream into your hands and work through your dry hair.
I actually mix hair conditioner with water in a spray bottle and spray on my dry hair before styling, but I am an older woman with normal to oily scalp/hair, so the ratio of conditioner to water is about 1:4.