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Golden Tickets To Heaven
05-05-2015, 10:00 PM #1
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:41,062 Threads:1,568 Joined:Feb 2011
Couple Arrested For Selling “Golden Tickets To Heaven”

Quote:.../ Tito Watts said in his police statement:

I don’t care what the police say. The tickets are solid gold… it ain’t cut up two by fours I spray painted gold. And it was Jesus who give them to me behind the KFC and said to sell them so I could get me some money to go to outer space. I met an alien named Stevie who said if I got the cash together he’d take me and my wife on his flying saucer to his planet that’s made entirely of crack cocaine. You can smoke all the crack cocaine there you want… totally free. So, try to send an innocent man to jail and see what happens. You should arrest Jesus because he’s the one that gave me the golden tickets and said to sell them. I’m willing to wear a wire and set Jesus up…

Amanda Watts said in her police statement:

We just wanted to leave earth and go to space and smoke rock cocaine. I didn’t do nothing. Tito sold the golden tickets to heaven. I just watched.

Police said they confiscated over $10,000 in cash, five crack pipes and a baby alligator.


05-05-2015, 10:13 PM #2
golden locks Member
Posts:332 Threads:23 Joined:Jun 2014
ffs, so they earned the money fear and square!
If somebody is stupid enough to buy there way to heaven
they are probably meant to loose a little money lol.gif
05-05-2015, 10:20 PM #3
Accidental Stoner Member
Posts:8,581 Threads:79 Joined:Feb 2011
05-05-2015, 11:20 PM #4
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:41,062 Threads:1,568 Joined:Feb 2011
They could have gone on selling those tickets if they hadn't claimed they were made of solid gold. chuckle.gif
05-05-2015, 11:40 PM #5
Accidental Stoner Member
Posts:8,581 Threads:79 Joined:Feb 2011
In the famous words of George W Bush, former President
of the United States:

"There's an old saying in Tennessee, umhh, I know it's in
Texas, probably in Tennessee that says, 'Fool me once, shame
on...umh...shame on you. Fool me... umh.
You can't get fooled again!'"
05-06-2015, 12:26 AM #6
Coolchick Member
Posts:5,071 Threads:120 Joined:Mar 2013

'and a baby alligator'..?

Just Plain Nuts.
failboat Show this Post
05-07-2015, 03:50 PM #7
failboat Incognito Anonymous
(05-06-2015, 12:26 AM)Coolchick Wrote:  lol..

'and a baby alligator'..?

that's exactly what i thought. lol.gif

perhaps they had some illegal pet trading thing going too.
05-07-2015, 03:53 PM #8
Cloud Atlas Member
Posts:524 Threads:104 Joined:Aug 2013
only in the USA -

“Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others, past and present, and by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future.” ― David Mitchell
Not Gumby Show this Post
05-08-2015, 02:31 PM #9
Not Gumby Incognito Anonymous
Quote:I’m willing to wear a wire and set Jesus up

Bastards !

05-08-2015, 02:57 PM #10
Ruby Wolf Member
Posts:10,078 Threads:719 Joined:Oct 2012
(05-05-2015, 10:13 PM)golden locks Wrote:  ffs, so they earned the money fear and square!
If somebody is stupid enough to buy there way to heaven
they are probably meant to loose a little money lol.gif
Well the sad and sorry fact that some people are religiously warped and twisted enough to pay thousands of dollars (that they probably didnt earn the hard way but from blood money inheritance) for burnt toast claimed to resemble the visage of christ so some people are stupid and naive enough to buy any anything that props up and supports their desperate delusions > http://www.buzzfeed.com/arielknutson/peo...dyYMNaMrPV



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