#Login Register


  • 7 Vote(s) - 3.43 Average
Home 


Golden Tickets To Heaven
05-05-2015, 10:00 PM #1
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:42,969 Threads:1,473 Joined:Feb 2011
Couple Arrested For Selling “Golden Tickets To Heaven”

Quote:.../ Tito Watts said in his police statement:

I don’t care what the police say. The tickets are solid gold… it ain’t cut up two by fours I spray painted gold. And it was Jesus who give them to me behind the KFC and said to sell them so I could get me some money to go to outer space. I met an alien named Stevie who said if I got the cash together he’d take me and my wife on his flying saucer to his planet that’s made entirely of crack cocaine. You can smoke all the crack cocaine there you want… totally free. So, try to send an innocent man to jail and see what happens. You should arrest Jesus because he’s the one that gave me the golden tickets and said to sell them. I’m willing to wear a wire and set Jesus up…

Amanda Watts said in her police statement:

We just wanted to leave earth and go to space and smoke rock cocaine. I didn’t do nothing. Tito sold the golden tickets to heaven. I just watched.

Police said they confiscated over $10,000 in cash, five crack pipes and a baby alligator.

http://moron.com/couple-arrested-selling...n-tickets/

lol.gif
05-05-2015, 10:13 PM #2
golden locks Member
Posts:367 Threads:23 Joined:Jun 2014
ffs, so they earned the money fear and square!
If somebody is stupid enough to buy there way to heaven
they are probably meant to loose a little money lol.gif
05-05-2015, 10:20 PM #3
Accidental Stoner Member
Posts:8,923 Threads:71 Joined:Feb 2011
yup.gif
05-05-2015, 11:20 PM #4
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:42,969 Threads:1,473 Joined:Feb 2011
They could have gone on selling those tickets if they hadn't claimed they were made of solid gold. chuckle.gif
05-05-2015, 11:40 PM #5
Accidental Stoner Member
Posts:8,923 Threads:71 Joined:Feb 2011
In the famous words of George W Bush, former President
of the United States:

"There's an old saying in Tennessee, umhh, I know it's in
Texas, probably in Tennessee that says, 'Fool me once, shame
on...umh...shame on you. Fool me... umh.
You can't get fooled again!'"
05-06-2015, 12:26 AM #6
Coolchick Member
Posts:5,205 Threads:118 Joined:Mar 2013
lol..

'and a baby alligator'..?

Just Plain Nuts.
failboat Show this Post
05-07-2015, 03:50 PM #7
failboat Incognito Anonymous
 
(05-06-2015, 12:26 AM)Coolchick Wrote:  lol..

'and a baby alligator'..?

that's exactly what i thought. lol.gif

perhaps they had some illegal pet trading thing going too.
05-07-2015, 03:53 PM #8
Cloud Atlas Member
Posts:532 Threads:98 Joined:Aug 2013
only in the USA -

“Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others, past and present, and by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future.” ― David Mitchell
Not Gumby Show this Post
05-08-2015, 02:31 PM #9
Not Gumby Incognito Anonymous
 
Quote:I’m willing to wear a wire and set Jesus up

Bastards !

chuckle.gif
05-08-2015, 02:41 PM #10
White Ribbon call me
Posts:9,779 Threads:371 Joined:Apr 2013
(05-07-2015, 03:53 PM)Cloud Atlas Wrote:  only in the USA -

yup.gif

that is a common saying used here too.. crazy fucks..

burp.png
05-08-2015, 02:57 PM #11
Ruby Wolf Member
Posts:10,786 Threads:721 Joined:Oct 2012
(05-05-2015, 10:13 PM)golden locks Wrote:  ffs, so they earned the money fear and square!
If somebody is stupid enough to buy there way to heaven
they are probably meant to loose a little money lol.gif
Well the sad and sorry fact that some people are religiously warped and twisted enough to pay thousands of dollars (that they probably didnt earn the hard way but from blood money inheritance) for burnt toast claimed to resemble the visage of christ so some people are stupid and naive enough to buy any anything that props up and supports their desperate delusions > http://www.buzzfeed.com/arielknutson/peo...dyYMNaMrPV



Home 




 



DISCLAIMER / Terms of Service (TOS):
Kritterbox.com - Socialize anonymously, commentary, discussion, oddities, technology, music and more!  This website is provided "as is" without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied. kritterbox.com shall not be liable for any damages whatsoever, including, without limitation, those resulting from loss of use, data or profits, whether or not advised of the possibility of damage, and on any theory of liability, arising out of or in connection with the use or performance of this site or other documents which are referenced by or linked to this site.
This website exists solely for the purposes of exchange of information, communication and general entertainment. Opinions from posters are in no way endorsed by kritterbox.com. All posts on this website are the opinion of the authors and are not to be taken as statements of fact on behalf of kritterbox.com. This site may contain coarse language or other material that kritterbox.com is in no way responsible for. Material deemed to be offensive or pornographic at the discretion of kritterbox.com shall be removed. kritterbox.com reserves the right to modify, or remove posts and user accounts on this website at our discretion. kritterbox.com disclaims all liability for damages incurred directly or indirectly as a result of any material on this website. Fictitious posts and any similarity to any person living or dead is coincidental.
All users shall limit the insertion of any and all copyrighted material to portions of the article that are relevant to the point being made, with no more than 50%, and preferably less of the original source material. A link shall be visible in text format, embedded directly to the original source material without exception.
No third party links, i.e. blogs or forums will be accepted under any circumstances, and will be edited by staff in order to reflect the original source of copyrighted material, or be removed at the sole discretion of kritterbox.com.
Fair Use Notice:
This site may contain copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. Users may make such material available in an effort to advance awareness and understanding of issues relating to economics, individual rights, international affairs, liberty, science, and technology. This constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C.Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for educational and/or research purposes.
This Disclaimer is subject to change at any time at our discretion.
Copyright © 2011 - 2017 kritterbox.com