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Happy Birthday Simo Häyhä
12-17-2012, 04:26 PM #1
bohica Member
Posts:1,554 Threads:207 Joined:Feb 2011
The Badass of the Week.

Simo Häyhä

In the winter of 1939, the Soviet Union was dicks. Russian Premier Josef Stalin thought it would be really fucking hilarious if he all of a sudden sent like two million of his dudes over to nearby Finland to start kicking everyone's asses and seizing whatever land he could get his borsch-covered hands on, while simultaneously kicking puppies and shouting profanities at inanimate objects in a vodka-and-caviar induced roid rage. While this may have been a laugh riot for Stalin and his numbnuts cronies, the Finnish people obviously were a little unhappy with the prospect of having all their cross-country skis, Winter Olympics gold medals and salmon fishing boats captured by a rampaging horde of godless commie bastards, so they decided to open an extra-large can of whoop-ass and give the Russkies the ballsack kicking they were apparently looking for.

Now when you think of Finland, the phrase "military powerhouse" isn't exactly the first thing that pops into your head. Likewise, when you looked at Simo Häyhä, a slight-framed Finnish farmer who didn't stand an inch over five feet tall, you also probably didn't think "total fucking unstoppable badass". Well let's just say that first impressions can be deceiving.

Simo was a member of a Finnish organization roughly equivalent to the minutemen of the American Revolution. He had done his state-mandated one-year term in the Finnish Army, reaching the rank of corporal, and was living a peaceful life in a farming village not far from the Russian border, spending his days farming, hunting, and crushing giant logs into sawdust with his bare hands. When the Soviets crossed the border into Finland with the expressed purpose of busting Finnish heads, Simo was called up into service. He went out to the wood shed behind his house, grabbed his old-school Russian-made Mosin-Nagant M28/30 rifle and headed out to take some commies behind a proverbial woodshed of his own.

Häyhä's specialty was his knowledge of the forests, his enduring patience and his impeccable rifle marksmanship. A sniper by trade, he would dress up in all-white camouflage, sneak through the woods with only a day's worth of food and couple clips of ammunition, and then lie in wait for any Russian stupid enough to wander into his killzone. His first battle-experience came in the hard-fought Kollaa campaign, where a severely outnumbered Finnish force bore the brunt of a large-scale Russian assault. Temperatures at this time ranged from -20 to -40 degrees Celsius, and the entire forest was covered with several feet of snow. While this played havoc on the inexperienced and under-equipped Russian invaders, the Finns were right at home in it because FINLAND IS FUCKING COLD AS SHIT ALL THE TIME and they're used to it there. Throughout this campaign, Häyhä basically just ran around doling out head-shots like the ice cream man gives out Dove bars on a hot sunny day in the Sahara desert. His personal best was fucking twenty-five kills in a single day. That's like an entire baseball team.

Throughout the Winter War (as it would come to be known), Simo Häyhä ran around being what experienced HALO players would call a "camping fag", and scoring enough kill shots to make fucking RoboCop and the Terminator hide their heads in shame. He would come to be known throughout the Russian Army as "The White Death", and at one point in the war they even went so far as to try and launch a couple of goddamned artillery strikes on locations at which they thought he might be hiding. That's desperation there - like even more desperate than a nymphomaniac babe at a convention for castrated male models.

After hearing about how much ass Häyhä was kicking out on the frozen tundra of eastern Finland with an antiquated bolt-action piece-of-shit rifle, the Finnish High Command decided to give him a special award: a custom-built Sako M2/28-30 Sniper Rifle of Headshots +3. He put this to good use, killing the ever-loving shit out of anyone that crossed him. On several occasions the Russians sent their own snipers to take him out, but Simo managed to win those duels every time. You see, Häyhä not only passed out long-range silent death to anyone with a red star on his hat, but he did it without the aid of a telescopic sight. He preferred to use the rifle's regular iron sights because it allowed him to present a smaller target, and because several of the commie snipers he moked out were given away by a glint of light reflecting off the lenses of their scopes. He obviously didn't want to fall to this fate, so he went balls-out and wasted assholes the old-fashioned (and unarguably the more hardcore) way.

Finally, on 2 March 1940, some Soviet bastard got a lucky shot off and popped Simo Häyhä in the jaw with an explosive bullet. Häyhä fell into a coma and was pulled off the field by his comerades. He would finally awake eleven days later, on the same day that the Winter War ended. He would go on to live to the ripe old age of 97.

The Winter War ended as a victory for Finland. The Red Army captured a mere 22,000 square miles of territory and lost close to one million men, more than forty times the number of Finnish casualties. Simo Häyhä received five medals for valour, including the prestigious Kollaa Cross, and was express-promoted from corporal to second lieutenant. Throughout the war, Häyhä raked in a total of 505 confirmed sniper kills (in some sources he is credited with 542). On top of this, he also mowed down two hundred men with a Suomi 9mm submachine gun, bringing his total kill count to over 700 men in under 100 days.

Nobody in history has ever been credited with more confirmed kills than Simo Häyhä. He was an unlikely war hero who used patience, cunning and precision to defend his country, his home, his people and his freedom from communist totalitarian oppression. He was an unstoppable killing machine the likes of which the world has never known before or since.

I'm in my seventh decade on Earth. I know things.
12-17-2012, 04:27 PM #2
yankees skier
Posts:5,032 Threads:215 Joined:Feb 2011
Go Finland! beercheer.gif

12-17-2012, 05:00 PM #3
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:41,166 Threads:1,571 Joined:Feb 2011
True badassness! cheers.gif
12-17-2012, 07:27 PM #4
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:11,022 Threads:760 Joined:Feb 2011
Yup, Simo is da man! He is typically considered the best sniper of all time.


What politics from both sides wants to teach us is that things are never complex. If you have your little package and something doesn't fit into that package, You don't know what to make of it so you want to dismiss it or then you will have to do the work of reconsidering your assumptions. - Michael Malice
12-17-2012, 09:40 PM #5
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:41,166 Threads:1,571 Joined:Feb 2011
12-17-2012, 10:27 PM #6
Accidental Stoner Member
Posts:8,588 Threads:79 Joined:Feb 2011

The White Death.


Well, he didn't come to be beautiful, but to save the nation.

Endless respect to him.

12-17-2012, 11:37 PM #7
bongcat Member
Posts:79 Threads:8 Joined:Jun 2012

This is similar to what he used.
Many of these are still being used (mostly by oldtimers) for moosehunting :)

Respect where respect is due!

But there is propably some very mixed feelings spinnin round yer head, waking up after the war, knowing that you singlehandedly just murdered 700 people damned.gif

But no yin without yang i guess...
12-17-2012, 11:50 PM #8
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:41,166 Threads:1,571 Joined:Feb 2011
He died only 10 years ago, he apparently found ways to live with it. Amazing.
12-18-2012, 12:27 AM #9
Posts:1,156 Threads:8 Joined:Aug 2012
Quote:Häyhä's specialty was his knowledge of the forests, his enduring patience and his impeccable rifle marksmanship.
Quote:FUCKING COLD AS SHIT ALL THE TIME and they're used to it there

That accounts for alot

& why this too:
Quote:The Winter War ended as a victory for Finland. The Red Army captured a mere 22,000 square miles of territory and lost close to one million men, more than forty times the number of Finnish casualties.

pays off to know how to shoot & know
/adapt- to your territory


' Welcome to My Nightmare '
12-18-2012, 02:19 AM #10
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:41,166 Threads:1,571 Joined:Feb 2011
True that. I know they also got pretty close to the enemy on recon by crawling under the snow.

I suspect the outcome of this war may have been different had the winter been warmer. It was dropping below -40C and the Russians weren't equipped for that.

"Before the Winter War, no army had fought in such freezing conditions."
12-18-2012, 02:24 AM #11
bohica Member
Posts:1,554 Threads:207 Joined:Feb 2011
" knowing that you singlehandedly just murdered 700 people "

Is it murder when you kill someone who intends to kill you ?

I think not.

I'm in my seventh decade on Earth. I know things.
12-18-2012, 02:33 AM #12
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:41,166 Threads:1,571 Joined:Feb 2011
Not only to kill you, but your family and everyone else. Yeah I think it was an easy decision.

12-18-2012, 02:48 AM #13
bongcat Member
Posts:79 Threads:8 Joined:Jun 2012
(12-18-2012, 02:24 AM)bohica Wrote:  " knowing that you singlehandedly just murdered 700 people "

Is it murder when you kill someone who intends to kill you ?

I think not.

Dont get me wrong now :) War situations are always considered self defence, and it was a bit different back then. Even if you are forced to do a bad thing, in self defence, it may still fuck with your head afterwards. Maybe even more if you did it 700 times in a couple of months!

I guess MURDER was a strong word, but does it really make any difference? Killing is killing, which ever way you try to spin it.

for a moment, think about the people piloting the drones from behind a desk, thousands of miles from their victims...

Are they doing it in self defence? I think not.

Well, I am surely no expert, never killed a person.
12-18-2012, 04:13 AM #14
bohica Member
Posts:1,554 Threads:207 Joined:Feb 2011
Taking another Human life kills a little bit of the taker, unless they are psychotic.
I just read a piece today about a drone operator who had to quit because he felt he was murdering people. If I can link it I will. I have to find it.

I'm in my seventh decade on Earth. I know things.
12-18-2012, 04:21 AM #15
bohica Member
Posts:1,554 Threads:207 Joined:Feb 2011

'Did we just kill a kid?': The moment drone operator who assassinated Afghans with the push of a button on a computer in the U.S. realized he had vaporized a child... and could not go on

By Helen Pow

PUBLISHED: 23:05 EST, 16 December 2012 | UPDATED: 14:31 EST, 17 December 2012

A former U.S. drone operator has opened up about the toll of killing scores of innocent people by pressing a button from a control room in New Mexico.

Brandon Bryant, 27, from Missoula, Montana, spent six years in the Air Force operating Predator drones from inside a dark container.

But, after following orders to shoot and kill a child in Afghanistan, he knew he couldn't keep doing what he was doing and quit the military.

'I saw men, women and children die during that time,' he told Spiegel Online. 'I never thought I would kill that many people. In fact, I thought I couldn't kill anyone at all.'

But it began to take its toll immediately.

The first time he fired a missile, he killed two men instantly and cried on his way home.

'I felt disconnected from humanity for almost a week,' he said.

But it was an incident when a Predator drone was circling above a flat-roofed house made of mud in Afghanistan, more than 6,250 miles away, that really sticks in his mind.
Horrific: 'I saw men, women and children die,' said Brandon Bryant, pictured

Horrific: 'I saw men, women and children die,' said Brandon Bryant, pictured

The hut had a shed used to hold goats and when he received the order to fire, he pressed a button with his left hand and marked the roof with a laser.

The pilot sitting next to him pressed the trigger on a joystick, causing the drone to launch a Hellfire missile. There were 16 seconds left until impact.

'These moments are like in slow motion,' he told the website.

As the countdown reached seven seconds, there was no sign of anyone on the ground.

Bryant could still have diverted the missile at that point.

But when it was down to three seconds, a child suddenly walked around the corner.

The next thing he saw was a flash on the screen - the explosion. The building collapsed, and the child disappeared.

Bryant had a sick feeling in his stomach, he told the website.

'Did we just kill a kid?' he asked the pilot next to him.

'Yeah, I guess that was a kid,' the man replied.

Thoughts jotted in his diary on uneventful days clearly show the heavy burden his job was placing on him.

'On the battlefield there are no sides, just bloodshed. Total war. Every horror witnessed. I wish my eyes would rot,' he wrote on one occasion.

He began to shut himself off from his friends, and his girlfriend complained about his bad moods.

'I can't just switch and go back to normal life,' he said to her. He stopped sleeping and began to exercise instead.
Drones: Bryant worked as a sensor operator, the equivalent of a drone co-pilot (stock photo)

Drones: Bryant worked as a sensor operator, the equivalent of a drone co-pilot (stock photo)

One day he collapsed at work, doubling over and spitting blood. The doctor ordered him to stay home, and not to return to work until he could sleep more than four hours a night for two weeks in a row.

'Half a year later, I was back in the cockpit, flying drones,' Bryant told Spiegel Online.

But he was diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder.

Now Bryant has left the military and is living back at home in Montana where he feels he is slowly recuperating.

'I haven't been dreaming in infrared for four months,' he said with a smile.

I'm in my seventh decade on Earth. I know things.



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