(04-21-2014, 01:06 PM)JayRodney Wrote: A few years ago I found out the combo of chocolate bunnies and beer can be worse than death. I stay away from both these days as a precaution.
A few years ago my stuck up selfish sister decided to drop off her ignorant uncontrollable kids at my place for Easter even though I had told her that I had made plans for that day and couldn't change them she didn't care cause her plans for the day' going to a casino to play the slots was more important to her , so at 8 am bright n early she pounds on my door I go open the door then her ignorant brats run inside yelling where's our chocolates we want chocolate while they start hunting around turning my place upside down I had a feeling this would happen so the day before I went and bought a couple packs of chocolate ex-lax and put them inside little 1/2 pack in each gift bags which were decorated nicely for Easter so after about 10-15 minutes of these little ignorant snot bubble blowing rug rats bellowing and ruining my place I calmly' with a smile stood and watched my sister say as she closed the door " have fun and don't forget to make them lunch and dinner will ya and make sure they get a good nights sleep cause I got a busy day tomorrow taking them to the park early' with a smirk on her face ' So the door closes and I say to the sot makers I think The Easter bunny put something over there behind the sofa they go off running to look grab the bags tear into them I remember asking them not to eat all their candies chocolates all at once cause lunch will be ready soon , first word out of their chocolate filled mouths were mine! mine mine ! mine ! mine! I remember making a cup of coffee then sitting at my dining room table watching these greedy ignorant buggers chowing down and smiling as they fought amongst themselves yelling at each other about how what they got was theirs and not sharing the more they ate and bickered the better my coffee seemed to taste and my smile grew as I watched them argue over who would get to eat the ex-lax chocolates I had put inside each nicely decorated paper bag now a couple hours have passed and I' exhausted from looking after satan's children and it's now evening 11:30 pm or so and The phone rings it's my sister letting me know she'll be by around 3 am to get her spawn but wants me to wash n dry their clothes that they're wearing for when she takes them to the park 2morrow and wants to make herself look like a good mother in front of her friends I just said to her 3 am ? wash n dry clothes ? guess the fact that I have work ' I'm a nurse' in the morning doesn't matter and hung the phone up did she show up at 3 am for her spawn? nope but does at 10 am she rings the door bell I answer she yells for spawn #1 to come to the door it's park time first heuy comes to the door about 10 minutes later then duey both saying their tummy don't feel so good she says to me well you're a nurse see what you can do to fix them up but make it quick We have a busy day ahead maybe fix them some breakfast eggs waffles pancakes and a couple sausages should do and a cup of coffee for me will do fine remember telling her don't worry sis done all the fixing I'm going to do as Satan's spawn#1 says he thinks he has to go to the washroom she tells him no time then tells me to hurry on with breakfast then grabs the kids pulling em into the car and off they went I smiled waving to them fully knowing that she and her spawn are about to have a real shitty day
1/2 hr later She calls yelling something about how her car seats are ruined and there's shït everywhere
I say to her can't hear you ,must have a shitty connection she hangs up now for those who are wondering her spawn are 13 and 14yrs ignorant rude buggers who steal/ brake things/ talk back smart mouth and learned how to swear from some of the best of truckers needless to say since then every Easter I sit at my dining room table with a nice cup of coffee and smile in comfort and peace