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Hehehehe ---- 50 SHEDS of Grey
04-30-2017, 12:08 AM #1
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,391 Threads:988 Joined:Mar 2011
Subject: Fifty SHEDS of Grey

The novel “Fifty Shades Of Grey” has seduced women – and baffled blokes.

Now, *Fifty Sheds Of Grey*, offers a treat for the men.
The book's author Colin Grey recounts his love encounters at the bottom of
the garden. Here are some extracts...

We tried various positions – round the back, on the side, up against a
wall.but in the end we came to the conclusion the bottom of the garden was
the only place for a good shed.
She stood before me, trembling in my shed.
“I’m yours for the night,” she gasped, “You can do whatever you want with
me.”
So I took her to Bunning’s.
She knelt before me on the shed floor and tugged gently at first, then
harder until finally it came.
I moaned with pleasure. Now for the other boot.
Ever since she read THAT book, I’ve had to buy all kinds of ropes, chains
and shackles.
She still manages to get into the shed, though.
“Put on this rubber suit and mask,” I instructed, calmly. “Mmmm, kinky!”
she purred.
“Yes,” I said, “You can’t be too careful with all that asbestos in the
shed roof.”
“I’m a very naughty girl,” she said, biting her lip. “I need to be
punished.”
So I invited my mum to stay for the weekend.
“Harder!” she cried, gripping the workbench tightly. “Harder!”
“Okay,” I said. “What’s the gross national product of Nicaragua?”
I lay back exhausted, gazing happily out of the shed window.
Despite my concerns about my inexperience, my rhubarb had come up a treat.

“Are you sure you can take the pain?” she demanded, brandishing stilettos.

“I think so,” I gulped. “Here we go, then,” she said, and showed me the
receipt.
“Hurt me!” she begged, raising her skirt as she bent over my workbench.
“Very well,” I replied. “You have fat ankles and no dress sense.”
“Are you sure you want this?” I asked.
“When I’m done, you won’t be able to sit down for weeks.” She nodded.
“Okay,” I said, putting the three-piece lounge suite on eBay.
“Punish me!” she cried. “Make me suffer like only a real man can!”
“Very well,” I replied, leaving the toilet seat up
04-30-2017, 12:15 AM #2
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:30,350 Threads:1,497 Joined:Feb 2011
chuckle.gif

[Image: giphy.gif]

That was the long way around the barn for that punch line.

wonder.gif

04-30-2017, 12:19 AM #3
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:41,658 Threads:1,594 Joined:Feb 2011
[Image: 200w.gif#27-grid3]
04-30-2017, 09:44 AM #4
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,391 Threads:988 Joined:Mar 2011
(04-30-2017, 03:11 AM)White Ribbon Wrote:  blonde.gif

Aussies jokes take the long route most of the time..


Long roots are always the best !
04-30-2017, 10:22 AM #5
DaJavoo If looks could kilt
Posts:1,775 Threads:45 Joined:Mar 2011
(04-30-2017, 12:19 AM)Octo Wrote:  [Image: 200w.gif#27-grid3]

I guess we need a few more beers, Octo...
04-30-2017, 11:04 AM #6
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,391 Threads:988 Joined:Mar 2011
(04-30-2017, 10:41 AM)White Ribbon Wrote:  
(04-30-2017, 09:44 AM)ocker1 Wrote:  
(04-30-2017, 03:11 AM)White Ribbon Wrote:  blonde.gif

Aussies jokes take the long route most of the time..


Long roots are always the best  !

I knew you would say that when I wrote it..

Can't beat a good root..

blonde.gif

Thats the look they get too, on the Vinegar Stroke
04-30-2017, 11:46 AM #7
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:11,169 Threads:770 Joined:Feb 2011
(04-30-2017, 10:41 AM)White Ribbon Wrote:  Can't beat a good root.

Sure you can. I used to beat mine all the time when I was young.

What politics from both sides wants to teach us is that things are never complex. If you have your little package and something doesn't fit into that package, You don't know what to make of it so you want to dismiss it or then you will have to do the work of reconsidering your assumptions. - Michael Malice
04-30-2017, 01:42 PM #8
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:30,350 Threads:1,497 Joined:Feb 2011
yup.gif Yup

wonder.gif

04-30-2017, 02:15 PM #9
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:30,350 Threads:1,497 Joined:Feb 2011
chuckle.gif I have absolutely no idea what that meant.

wonder.gif

04-30-2017, 02:19 PM #10
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:41,658 Threads:1,594 Joined:Feb 2011
(04-30-2017, 03:11 AM)White Ribbon Wrote:  blonde.gif

Aussies jokes take the long route most of the time..


Fifty shades of grey was the worst movie of all time.. Boring..

I've neither seen it nor read the book 13.gif
04-30-2017, 03:25 PM #11
Strigoi Diavolul
Posts:1,784 Threads:92 Joined:Mar 2011
It was a book?

Un Strigoi printre noi
04-30-2017, 04:16 PM #12
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:30,350 Threads:1,497 Joined:Feb 2011
I saw reviews on it, that kept me away.

wonder.gif

04-30-2017, 11:18 PM #13
eclipsed Member
Posts:339 Threads:4 Joined:Jan 2017
ive never seen the movie or read the book and im a heavy reader.
im not into romance novels, man they messed me up a long time ago.
i read too many and expected men to act like that.it was terrible.

ive not heard anything good about the movie.
i like sci fi much better anyways...
more cerebral.
05-01-2017, 12:09 AM #14
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:30,350 Threads:1,497 Joined:Feb 2011
I don't know how men act in romance novels, but I saw this the other day and lol'd...

http://bookscans.com/Publishers/others/I...uin001.jpg

wonder.gif

05-01-2017, 12:12 AM #15
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:41,658 Threads:1,594 Joined:Feb 2011
lol.gif I bet it has some kinky seaman stuff in there


blonde.gif



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