#Login Register

  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average

Hehehehe ---- 50 SHEDS of Grey
04-30-2017, 12:08 AM #1
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,303 Threads:954 Joined:Mar 2011
Subject: Fifty SHEDS of Grey

The novel “Fifty Shades Of Grey” has seduced women – and baffled blokes.

Now, *Fifty Sheds Of Grey*, offers a treat for the men.
The book's author Colin Grey recounts his love encounters at the bottom of
the garden. Here are some extracts...

We tried various positions – round the back, on the side, up against a
wall.but in the end we came to the conclusion the bottom of the garden was
the only place for a good shed.
She stood before me, trembling in my shed.
“I’m yours for the night,” she gasped, “You can do whatever you want with
So I took her to Bunning’s.
She knelt before me on the shed floor and tugged gently at first, then
harder until finally it came.
I moaned with pleasure. Now for the other boot.
Ever since she read THAT book, I’ve had to buy all kinds of ropes, chains
and shackles.
She still manages to get into the shed, though.
“Put on this rubber suit and mask,” I instructed, calmly. “Mmmm, kinky!”
she purred.
“Yes,” I said, “You can’t be too careful with all that asbestos in the
shed roof.”
“I’m a very naughty girl,” she said, biting her lip. “I need to be
So I invited my mum to stay for the weekend.
“Harder!” she cried, gripping the workbench tightly. “Harder!”
“Okay,” I said. “What’s the gross national product of Nicaragua?”
I lay back exhausted, gazing happily out of the shed window.
Despite my concerns about my inexperience, my rhubarb had come up a treat.

“Are you sure you can take the pain?” she demanded, brandishing stilettos.

“I think so,” I gulped. “Here we go, then,” she said, and showed me the
“Hurt me!” she begged, raising her skirt as she bent over my workbench.
“Very well,” I replied. “You have fat ankles and no dress sense.”
“Are you sure you want this?” I asked.
“When I’m done, you won’t be able to sit down for weeks.” She nodded.
“Okay,” I said, putting the three-piece lounge suite on eBay.
“Punish me!” she cried. “Make me suffer like only a real man can!”
“Very well,” I replied, leaving the toilet seat up
04-30-2017, 12:15 AM #2
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:30,202 Threads:1,487 Joined:Feb 2011


That was the long way around the barn for that punch line.


04-30-2017, 12:19 AM #3
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:41,220 Threads:1,576 Joined:Feb 2011
04-30-2017, 09:44 AM #4
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,303 Threads:954 Joined:Mar 2011
(04-30-2017, 03:11 AM)White Ribbon Wrote:  blonde.gif

Aussies jokes take the long route most of the time..

Long roots are always the best !
04-30-2017, 10:22 AM #5
DaJavoo If looks could kilt
Posts:1,771 Threads:45 Joined:Mar 2011
(04-30-2017, 12:19 AM)Octo Wrote:  İmage

I guess we need a few more beers, Octo...
04-30-2017, 11:04 AM #6
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,303 Threads:954 Joined:Mar 2011
(04-30-2017, 10:41 AM)White Ribbon Wrote:  
(04-30-2017, 09:44 AM)ocker1 Wrote:  
(04-30-2017, 03:11 AM)White Ribbon Wrote:  blonde.gif

Aussies jokes take the long route most of the time..

Long roots are always the best  !

I knew you would say that when I wrote it..

Can't beat a good root..


Thats the look they get too, on the Vinegar Stroke
04-30-2017, 11:46 AM #7
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:11,035 Threads:764 Joined:Feb 2011
(04-30-2017, 10:41 AM)White Ribbon Wrote:  Can't beat a good root.

Sure you can. I used to beat mine all the time when I was young.

What politics from both sides wants to teach us is that things are never complex. If you have your little package and something doesn't fit into that package, You don't know what to make of it so you want to dismiss it or then you will have to do the work of reconsidering your assumptions. - Michael Malice
04-30-2017, 01:42 PM #8
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:30,202 Threads:1,487 Joined:Feb 2011
yup.gif Yup


04-30-2017, 02:15 PM #9
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:30,202 Threads:1,487 Joined:Feb 2011
chuckle.gif I have absolutely no idea what that meant.


04-30-2017, 02:19 PM #10
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:41,220 Threads:1,576 Joined:Feb 2011
(04-30-2017, 03:11 AM)White Ribbon Wrote:  blonde.gif

Aussies jokes take the long route most of the time..

Fifty shades of grey was the worst movie of all time.. Boring..

I've neither seen it nor read the book 13.gif
04-30-2017, 03:25 PM #11
Strigoi Diavolul
Posts:1,765 Threads:92 Joined:Mar 2011
It was a book?

Un Strigoi printre noi
04-30-2017, 04:16 PM #12
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:30,202 Threads:1,487 Joined:Feb 2011
I saw reviews on it, that kept me away.


04-30-2017, 11:18 PM #13
eclipsed Member
Posts:339 Threads:4 Joined:Jan 2017
ive never seen the movie or read the book and im a heavy reader.
im not into romance novels, man they messed me up a long time ago.
i read too many and expected men to act like that.it was terrible.

ive not heard anything good about the movie.
i like sci fi much better anyways...
more cerebral.
05-01-2017, 12:09 AM #14
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:30,202 Threads:1,487 Joined:Feb 2011
I don't know how men act in romance novels, but I saw this the other day and lol'd...



05-01-2017, 12:12 AM #15
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:41,220 Threads:1,576 Joined:Feb 2011
lol.gif I bet it has some kinky seaman stuff in there




DISCLAIMER / Terms of Service (TOS):
Kritterbox.com - Socialize anonymously, commentary, discussion, oddities, technology, music and more!  This website is provided "as is" without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied. kritterbox.com shall not be liable for any damages whatsoever, including, without limitation, those resulting from loss of use, data or profits, whether or not advised of the possibility of damage, and on any theory of liability, arising out of or in connection with the use or performance of this site or other documents which are referenced by or linked to this site.
This website exists solely for the purposes of exchange of information, communication and general entertainment. Opinions from posters are in no way endorsed by kritterbox.com. All posts on this website are the opinion of the authors and are not to be taken as statements of fact on behalf of kritterbox.com. This site may contain coarse language or other material that kritterbox.com is in no way responsible for. Material deemed to be offensive or pornographic at the discretion of kritterbox.com shall be removed. kritterbox.com reserves the right to modify, or remove posts and user accounts on this website at our discretion. kritterbox.com disclaims all liability for damages incurred directly or indirectly as a result of any material on this website. Fictitious posts and any similarity to any person living or dead is coincidental.
All users shall limit the insertion of any and all copyrighted material to portions of the article that are relevant to the point being made, with no more than 50%, and preferably less of the original source material. A link shall be visible in text format, embedded directly to the original source material without exception.
No third party links, i.e. blogs or forums will be accepted under any circumstances, and will be edited by staff in order to reflect the original source of copyrighted material, or be removed at the sole discretion of kritterbox.com.
Fair Use Notice:
This site may contain copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. Users may make such material available in an effort to advance awareness and understanding of issues relating to economics, individual rights, international affairs, liberty, science, and technology. This constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C.Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for educational and/or research purposes.
This Disclaimer is subject to change at any time at our discretion.
Copyright © 2011 - 2017 kritterbox.com