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Hehehehe ---- 50 SHEDS of Grey
04-30-2017, 12:08 AM #1
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,083 Threads:802 Joined:Mar 2011
Subject: Fifty SHEDS of Grey

The novel “Fifty Shades Of Grey” has seduced women – and baffled blokes.

Now, *Fifty Sheds Of Grey*, offers a treat for the men.
The book's author Colin Grey recounts his love encounters at the bottom of
the garden. Here are some extracts...

We tried various positions – round the back, on the side, up against a
wall.but in the end we came to the conclusion the bottom of the garden was
the only place for a good shed.
She stood before me, trembling in my shed.
“I’m yours for the night,” she gasped, “You can do whatever you want with
me.”
So I took her to Bunning’s.
She knelt before me on the shed floor and tugged gently at first, then
harder until finally it came.
I moaned with pleasure. Now for the other boot.
Ever since she read THAT book, I’ve had to buy all kinds of ropes, chains
and shackles.
She still manages to get into the shed, though.
“Put on this rubber suit and mask,” I instructed, calmly. “Mmmm, kinky!”
she purred.
“Yes,” I said, “You can’t be too careful with all that asbestos in the
shed roof.”
“I’m a very naughty girl,” she said, biting her lip. “I need to be
punished.”
So I invited my mum to stay for the weekend.
“Harder!” she cried, gripping the workbench tightly. “Harder!”
“Okay,” I said. “What’s the gross national product of Nicaragua?”
I lay back exhausted, gazing happily out of the shed window.
Despite my concerns about my inexperience, my rhubarb had come up a treat.

“Are you sure you can take the pain?” she demanded, brandishing stilettos.

“I think so,” I gulped. “Here we go, then,” she said, and showed me the
receipt.
“Hurt me!” she begged, raising her skirt as she bent over my workbench.
“Very well,” I replied. “You have fat ankles and no dress sense.”
“Are you sure you want this?” I asked.
“When I’m done, you won’t be able to sit down for weeks.” She nodded.
“Okay,” I said, putting the three-piece lounge suite on eBay.
“Punish me!” she cried. “Make me suffer like only a real man can!”
“Very well,” I replied, leaving the toilet seat up
04-30-2017, 12:15 AM #2
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:31,393 Threads:1,439 Joined:Feb 2011
chuckle.gif

İmage

That was the long way around the barn for that punch line.

wonder.gif
04-30-2017, 12:19 AM #3
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:43,001 Threads:1,473 Joined:Feb 2011
İmage
04-30-2017, 03:11 AM #4
White Ribbon call me
Posts:9,779 Threads:371 Joined:Apr 2013
blonde.gif

Aussies jokes take the long route most of the time..


Fifty shades of grey was the worst movie of all time.. Boring..
04-30-2017, 09:44 AM #5
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,083 Threads:802 Joined:Mar 2011
(04-30-2017, 03:11 AM)White Ribbon Wrote:  blonde.gif

Aussies jokes take the long route most of the time..


Long roots are always the best !
04-30-2017, 10:22 AM #6
DaJavoo If looks could kilt
Posts:1,861 Threads:45 Joined:Mar 2011
(04-30-2017, 12:19 AM)Octo Wrote:  İmage

I guess we need a few more beers, Octo...
04-30-2017, 10:41 AM #7
White Ribbon call me
Posts:9,779 Threads:371 Joined:Apr 2013
(04-30-2017, 09:44 AM)ocker1 Wrote:  
(04-30-2017, 03:11 AM)White Ribbon Wrote:  blonde.gif

Aussies jokes take the long route most of the time..


Long roots are always the best  !

I knew you would say that when I wrote it..

Can't beat a good root..

blonde.gif
04-30-2017, 11:04 AM #8
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,083 Threads:802 Joined:Mar 2011
(04-30-2017, 10:41 AM)White Ribbon Wrote:  
(04-30-2017, 09:44 AM)ocker1 Wrote:  
(04-30-2017, 03:11 AM)White Ribbon Wrote:  blonde.gif

Aussies jokes take the long route most of the time..


Long roots are always the best  !

I knew you would say that when I wrote it..

Can't beat a good root..

blonde.gif

Thats the look they get too, on the Vinegar Stroke
04-30-2017, 11:46 AM #9
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:10,782 Threads:647 Joined:Feb 2011
(04-30-2017, 10:41 AM)White Ribbon Wrote:  Can't beat a good root.

Sure you can. I used to beat mine all the time when I was young.

Politicians hide themselves away
They only started the war
Why should they go out to fight?
They leave that role to poor
04-30-2017, 01:42 PM #10
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:31,393 Threads:1,439 Joined:Feb 2011
yup.gif Yup

wonder.gif
04-30-2017, 01:44 PM #11
White Ribbon call me
Posts:9,779 Threads:371 Joined:Apr 2013
Ocker roots his birds.. Sick bastard..

yup.gif
04-30-2017, 02:15 PM #12
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:31,393 Threads:1,439 Joined:Feb 2011
chuckle.gif I have absolutely no idea what that meant.

wonder.gif
04-30-2017, 02:19 PM #13
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:43,001 Threads:1,473 Joined:Feb 2011
(04-30-2017, 03:11 AM)White Ribbon Wrote:  blonde.gif

Aussies jokes take the long route most of the time..


Fifty shades of grey was the worst movie of all time.. Boring..

I've neither seen it nor read the book 13.gif
04-30-2017, 03:25 PM #14
Strigoi Member
Posts:756 Threads:50 Joined:Mar 2011
It was a book?

Un Strigoi printre noi
04-30-2017, 03:27 PM #15
White Ribbon call me
Posts:9,779 Threads:371 Joined:Apr 2013
The book woukd be better cause you have your imagination.. The acting is so bad, and the sexual stuff beyond lame, it's unwatchable. I've seen kinkier stuff at bondage nights at my local pub..

damned.gif



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