all that time i spent in the womb i slept mostly.
and babies dream.
one particular dream ive carried with me always.
i was a blob, with a center made of tiny balls of colors.
a great collection of swirling, changing colors.... made of light most likely.
each ball of color is different...some may have UGLY colors as i called them, while others in the collection had more attractive and glowing colors.
as a blob floating out in the large blackness i float alone and enjoy my colors.
at some point the blob meets another blob, with all different combinations of colors.
i dont choose this one, or the next
time takes forever, but it is important NOT to just choose any blob.
the reason for this is because when the two decide they are attracted to the other, they MELD.
what i mean is that each blob gets to go into these balls of light all swirling and live the LIFE contained inside of that swirling ball.
as each blob has many balls of colored lights, each has many lives to live through.
you LIVE those lives as if they were your own, see?
you cannot unmeld until you live all of the lives....that is why you have to be very sure who you choose.
so to me, this life im living is just ONE of those balls of colors and i want beautiful colors so im going to be as nice as i can, basically.
the blobs can create their own lives to make these balls/lives but im not sure HOW that works, really.
we just have them and melding doesnt let us keep the others, we only get to EXPERIENCE them and then we unmeld and go our own way again until we are tired.
isnt that a wild story?
its MY story and its true.
ive never forgotten this dream because it made such an impression on me.
boredom as a blob and boredom inside the womb.
im seeing a theme here...