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I was looking forward to TEOTWAWKI
04-04-2011, 03:06 PM #61
Ross Incognito Anonymous

an e-book that's worth a good read.

Nuclear War
Updated and Expanded
1987 Edition
04-04-2011, 03:48 PM #62
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:30,408 Threads:1,479 Joined:Feb 2011
Bookmarked cheers.gif

04-04-2011, 06:16 PM #63
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,340 Threads:231 Joined:Feb 2011
Boy,,, have i got some stories about Survivalist.

One of the BEST i ever heard :

Steve: You Know Rog', people just don't get it, the shït has already hit the fan.
( That said with all undue smugness,,heh heh )

Rog' : People Steve, get very little comparatively speaking, a very few do, out of 7 billion.
( That said with a sigh of frustration as exclamation point)

Steve : Yeah, well, it's the end times and Nibiru has already been sighted, i think,,
no,,, I KNOW there are Nephilim on it,,, and i'm gonna be fighting them with a sword.

Rog' : ( Looking out the passenger window away from Steve,, while rolling eyes)
" That ought to work out fine Steve,, I'll sit this one out on the sidelines and Eat Chocolate covered Grasshoppers while I watch the action"

Steve ( with a quick jerk of the head to his right ) WHAT?

Rog' ( with that sly smile and sneaky glint in the eye, still looking out his passenger window. ) " Huh?"

Steve ( Not sure he is not sitting next to a Nephilim ) " Yeah, people just don't get it"
04-04-2011, 06:57 PM #64
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,340 Threads:231 Joined:Feb 2011
Rog's Instructional Manual on "Survival after TSHTF "

Owning to the Sad fact, that most ( 92.2%) of the Human Race is a Marshmallow
with less skills than flattened beer cans,,,

One may take their time and pick from the refuges a fine specimen to relish in the thigh bone of , and simply slice and dice those portions that seem most delectable to the purveyor .

Once the Meat has been separated from Bone, one must preserve it, this is done in the
ways of the forefathers,,, with salt.

Salt, can be obtained from the Sea, by setting small Barkless sticks in the sand at low tide,
high tide will come in, cover the sticks with salt,
and then, at low tide retrieve said sticks and lay them on a log to dry in the sun.

Then, once dried, take the dried skin of the Human, lay it flat out,,, and bang the sticks on the skin to dislodge the salt Chrystal's.

WA LA! SEA SALT at your Table.

Now, roll the meat over the salt on the dried skin, sprinkle hand fulls over the meat as you do this to insure a complete seal of the meat.

Next, scrounge up an Old Dodge Truck Hubcap, these are used because they are dish
like in shape and the juices will not so easily run out into the flames of your cooking fire.

Place your meat over your favorite herbs and spices in the Hubcap.

Set the Hubcap on hardwood coals ( Be sure no flame and very little smoke is present)

Next, set another exact hubcap over the first to maintain heat, and then scoop coals over the entire contraption.

(NOTE: be sure NOT to do this to an ass cheek, for gas residue from a previous cut fart
may be still stuck to the Butt and cause explosive reaction)

Next: using tongs you may have fashioned from two Golf Clubs and wire,, reach into the coals, remove the hubcaps, and turn it over and place back into the coals.

check for browning of the Thigh, and at your chosen preference, remove from coals
and place in sand to cool.

Next Chapter, How to make your own Gun powder from a Charcoal Briquette, a road side flare
and Pigeon shït.

04-04-2011, 07:16 PM #65
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,340 Threads:231 Joined:Feb 2011
Rog's Survival Guide ,,, Chapter 2

Gunpowder is one survival accoutrement that it goes without saying, is one of the most important and has so many uses that it has a chapter all it's own in my book.

Gunpowder has 3 elements
2. Sulpher
3. Nitrate or what is known as Salt Peter to some folks.

Ok, with Carbon, we can get this from many sources
one a Charcoal Briquette
two, a drycell battery such as the "D" cell batteries in your flashlight, make sure to use the DEAD batteries,, NOT the Good ones, you'll need those for the Old Lady at night.

Ok, our formula is simple
it is one two three

one part Sulpher
Two parts Carbo
3 Parts Nitrate

The best Nitrate, is Bat shït ( No, not the Bat shït Crazy your Cousin Zeek is, but the kind you findd on the walls and floors of Caves,,, the kind a BAT shits thank you very much)

However, if in the City, you can cruise beneath any BillBoard sign and find plenty of Pigeon shït,,, this will do,,, but gather only the Dry shït, otherwise,,, well, you'll figure it out.

Now, Sulpher
Roadside flares have a lot of Sulpher, that is why the smell so sweet as they burn.

You shall have to leach the sulpher out of the flare because it as well must be as pure as possible.

Your gonna have to make a pedistal and Motar to grind this shït
and ,,,
well,,, we'll cover that in the tools section next chapter.

Good luck,,, and remember to duck,,, first hint of flash
04-05-2011, 02:58 PM #66
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:30,408 Threads:1,479 Joined:Feb 2011
Very nice! I did not know that, and great SHTF info.

Interesting thread here, I'm somewhat surprised it's on the internet...


04-05-2011, 07:17 PM #67
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,340 Threads:231 Joined:Feb 2011
heh heh
JR, those are jokes

anyway, NITRATE is the Ticket, found in bird shït, and if processed properly, is a base for many
useful compounds.

Life is funny, despair,, funnier.

I have a Carousel that holds 300 CD's
Bought it the same month that Ipods came on the Market.

Cracks me up, 1000 songs on a matchbook size gadget
and i have a player and CD's that takes 3 BIG boxes to move and Store.

Life is Funny that way
in an Ironic way.

I also have a CD player in one of my trucks with a 6 CD changer.

Know what?
I bought XM Satellite Radio 2 months after i installed the Sound System in the truck.

I have not listened to the CD player since, never turn it on in fact.

Life is funny that way.

Steve hoarded up mega FOOD and survival supplies for Y2K

He still is storing it and adding more to it everyday.

and STILL,,, the endtimes just keep moving the Clock back on him.
heh heh

life is funny like that,,, yeah,,, it is.

I just sold a Bike,,, because i have 3 bikes and only two locks and only 2 spots to secure bikes,,,,

the next morning early,, i was given another Bike!

NOW, i am back to point zero with 3 bikes again
Life is funny that way,,, yep,,, it is.

The U.S. voted for a President that claimed " time for a change "

and,,,, nothing changed,,, it got worse instead.

Life, is funny that way.

I worked for 40 years to have money to buy items to satisfy my supposed needs
and was never satisfied with anything for very long at all.

Now, i never work,,, and am Satisfied with almost nothing.

Life is Funny that way.

Laws are passed everyday
so many laws
that some of them out law a previous law

which makes it against the law to obey the Law

Life is funny that way.

Japan is a HUGE fish eating country

they just dumped radiation into the Pacific Ocean where the fish they eat reside.
what will the Japs eat now? Tofu ?

Yep, Life is Funny that way,, indeed it is.



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