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Lifes mysteries finally explained!
06-14-2012, 03:47 AM #1
TheDuke Member
Posts:84 Threads:22 Joined:Jun 2012
On the first day, God created the dog and said:

"Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. For this, I will give you a lifespan of twenty years."

The dog said, "That's a long time to be barking. How about only ten years and I'll give you back the other ten?"

So God Agreed.

On the second day, God created the monkey and said:

"Entertain people, do tricks, and make them laugh. For this, I'll give you a twenty year lifespan."

The monkey said: "Monkey tricks for twenty years? That's a pretty long time to perform. How about I give you back ten like the dog did?"

And God Agreed.

On the third day, God created the cow and said:

"You must go out into the field with the farmer all day long and suffer under the sun, have calves and give milk to support the farmer's family. For this, I'll give you a lifespan of sixty years."

The cow said: "That's kind of a tough life you want me to live for sixty years. How about twenty and I'll give you back the other forty?"

And God Agreed.

On the fourth day, God created man and said:

"Eat, sleep, play, marry, and enjoy your life. For this I'll give you twenty years."

But man said: "Only twenty years? Could you possibly give me my twenty, the forty the cow gave back, the ten the monkey gave back, and the ten the dog gave back; that makes eighty, okay?"

"Okay," said God, "But remember, you asked for it."

So that is why for the first twenty years we eat, sleep, play, and enjoy ourselves. For the next forty years we slave in the sun to support our family. For the next ten we do monkey tricks to entertain the grandchildren. And for the last ten years we sit on the front porch and bark at everyone.

06-14-2012, 09:58 AM #2
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:30,185 Threads:1,485 Joined:Feb 2011
The way I see it a person goes through 3 phases in his life.
The first is where you try to screw every woman that comes your way. Th second is where you try like hell to make all the money you possibly can, and the third is where all you want out of life is a successful bowel movement. chuckle.gif


Anonymous Kritter Show this Post
06-14-2012, 10:44 AM #3
Anonymous Kritter Incognito Anonymous
rofl.gif Nothing better than a good dump.
06-14-2012, 11:34 AM #4
misterbumps Member
Posts:948 Threads:37 Joined:Apr 2012

I can see by your coat my friend you're from the other side. Just one thing I got to know. Who won?
06-14-2012, 11:48 AM #5
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:40,978 Threads:1,566 Joined:Feb 2011
06-14-2012, 09:56 PM #6
TheDuke Member
Posts:84 Threads:22 Joined:Jun 2012
(06-14-2012, 09:58 AM)JayRodney Wrote:  chuckle.gif
The way I see it a person goes through 3 phases in his life.
The first is where you try to screw every woman that comes your way. Th second is where you try like hell to make all the money you possibly can, and the third is where all you want out of life is a successful bowel movement. chuckle.gif

06-14-2012, 11:10 PM #7
Athenagoddess Member
Posts:454 Threads:81 Joined:Mar 2012
Dont I know it lol.gif lmao.gif yay.gif chuckle.gif
06-14-2012, 11:13 PM #8
Ghostie Member
Posts:953 Threads:212 Joined:Mar 2011



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