(08-17-2016, 07:58 PM)UniqueStranger Wrote:(08-17-2016, 07:31 PM)NODOOM Wrote: The reality is I am very close to throwing in the towel on this. It has got me beat and I am terribly depressed stuck in this hospital. I honestly do not think I can nor want to continue i this way,
It must be really bad then.
No one can possibly imagine what this can be like! Nothing could ever prepare a person for this. I have absolutely no control of anything. Bowels just empty whenever no warning. Pain locks me up into screaming fits and often. Dizzy feelings come and go. Head rushes are just a normal now. Fainting regularly with no warning, just bam out. Sweating and clamminess permanently. And the not knowing if you have but a few minutes or a day or two left. Tell me how does anyone deal with that.
It is now I want assisted suicide. I see no other choice. I have not given up without a fight. But the battle is being lost. I have just been given another bag of platelets. BY tomorrow it will be up a little bit but then it will again drop. The reason is that the cancer is also in the bone marrow and so the new blood being made is not being made with enough platelets.
Life is like a penny, you can spend it on what you like, but you can ONLY spend it once.