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Proof that there is no such thing as Antarctica but there is a Santa Claus
10-13-2017, 07:00 PM #1
Below Average Genius Member
Posts:2,546 Threads:246 Joined:Apr 2013
PROOF THERE IS NO ANTARCTICA BUT THERE IS A SANTA CLAUS

This is mortal lock proof because if you can't trust your government, who can you trust?

The USPS does NOT deliver mail to Antarctica! You can verify this at their website.

Yet they DO deliver countless pieces of mail to Santa Claus. Don't give me the lame story that Antarctica is too treacherous to deliver to as an excuse...do you think delivering to the North Pole is a walk in the park, especially since there is no street address?

Santa Claus was proven beyond a shadow of a doubt by Jimmy Stewart himself in the "Miracle on 34th Street." Don't tell me he wasn't in the movie. He played the role of Harvey. You couldn't see him because he was invisible and rabbits don't talk. snapoutofit.gif  You might have seen the sequel by the same name. Mr. Stewart was also a Boy Scout, an Air Force pilot during WWII, and a US Senator, so he don't lie.

After his death, a shape shifting impersonator took over his role as Harvey. But he's been caught now, as well he should have been because he's apparently done some bad, bad things. Jimmuh Stewart, might have had lust in his heart, but he would never have 'picked' a Rose that wasn't his if you catch my drift.

By the way, all of the above would make for a great movie treatment. Do you think the Weisenheimers in Hollywood would ever greenlight it? To keep the "based on a true story" authenticity intact, the ghost of Leslie Nielsen could play Jimmy Stewart. To make it work, Leslie could be cast like Steinbrenner was in Seinfeld.

I say with all these ghosts in it, it could become a Halloween Classic, just like "It's a Wonderful Life" and "Christmas Story" are annual must watch movies every December. Hey, if Mars and Hershey can sell candy every year a month before Halloween until Valentine's Day, we can certainly extend the annual movie watching traditions to include a masterpiece like this.

You can purchase tickets in advance by using my PayPal account. You should trust me by now based on all the whistle blowing I've done here. So send $19.95 plus shipping and handling to cashonly@gimmegimme.con. If you act within the next 10 minutes, you'll receive a second ticket absolutely free along with a free Sham Wow, which is similar to that other rag thing, only it'll be embroidered with yours and my initials because as a customer you will become my BFF. hug.gif  cheers.gif <--- no homo!... at least not any more. BaconDance.gif
İmage

Group prices are available for the Grand Opening in Lagos which sounds kind of like Los Angeles. That's why we picked it. For group orders, please include your debit card number and the last four or five digits of your password. If you're not sure what the last four or five digits are, you can use the first four or five digits. Mmmwwaaaaaaa! Luv U!!

hug.gif  cheers.gif

Signed,

Inspector Clouseau III  tsa.gif

PS. Let's put my granddad in the movie as well as another ghost detective or ghost hunter. Maybe the late Hugh Hefner could have a cameo looking for his 72 virgins.

I gotta run to give me time to prepare my Oscar exceptance speech. Exceptance speeches are very much like acceptance speeches other than the spell check part.

Pray for me. hug.gif

Hey which one of you stopped praying for me - it was a rough week. LOL
10-13-2017, 07:25 PM #2
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:40,960 Threads:1,544 Joined:Feb 2011
Americans... sad2.gif

Everybody else knows Santa lives in Finland and the mail to the North Pole is redirected to his lair here.
10-13-2017, 07:33 PM #3
Below Average Genius Member
Posts:2,546 Threads:246 Joined:Apr 2013
(10-13-2017, 07:25 PM)Octo Wrote:  Americans... sad2.gif

Everybody else knows Santa lives in Finland and the mail to the North Pole is redirected to his lair here.

I smell a lawsuit for the rights to this movie already.  Two nations measuring their diocs to see which one is the real home of Santa and which one is wearing a false beard. Not gay or anything. chuckle.gif

Pray for me. hug.gif

Hey which one of you stopped praying for me - it was a rough week. LOL
10-13-2017, 07:38 PM #4
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:40,960 Threads:1,544 Joined:Feb 2011
We can settle out of court. Please send $100 in unmarked bills to the Kritterbox HQ and I'll drop all claims.
10-13-2017, 07:47 PM #5
-NIGHTMARE- Member
Posts:1,067 Threads:7 Joined:Aug 2012
(10-13-2017, 07:38 PM)Octo Wrote:  We can settle out of court. Please send $100 in unmarked bills to the Kritterbox HQ and I'll drop all claims.

chuckle.gif

' Welcome to My Nightmare '
10-13-2017, 08:01 PM #6
Below Average Genius Member
Posts:2,546 Threads:246 Joined:Apr 2013
(10-13-2017, 07:38 PM)Octo Wrote:  We can settle out of court. Please send $100 in unmarked bills to the Kritterbox HQ and I'll drop all claims.

Excellent! There is no need for an ugly protracted court battle. Can I pay you in Zimbabwe dollars...and can you break a hundred trillion?

BTW, are those rocks piled high on the bills or something else?

İmage

Pray for me. hug.gif

Hey which one of you stopped praying for me - it was a rough week. LOL
10-13-2017, 08:08 PM #7
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:40,960 Threads:1,544 Joined:Feb 2011
Yes we accept Zimbabwe dollars, but you pay the shipping fee.

blonde.gif
10-13-2017, 08:10 PM #8
Below Average Genius Member
Posts:2,546 Threads:246 Joined:Apr 2013
(10-13-2017, 08:08 PM)Octo Wrote:  Yes we accept Zimbabwe dollars, but you pay the shipping fee.

blonde.gif

rofl.gif The check is in the mail! I promise. Since we are BFFs, could you give me your banking details for the quickest transfer? Just the last 4 or 5 digits of your pw will do.

Pray for me. hug.gif

Hey which one of you stopped praying for me - it was a rough week. LOL
10-13-2017, 08:18 PM #9
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:40,960 Threads:1,544 Joined:Feb 2011
Cash only.

You have no idea what crap I had to wade through to cash in an American check in a Finnish bank once! I think it was $100, took over 3 weeks to handle (because it had to be sent back to the US bank by snail-mail for the transfer to be finalized) and cost me 30 euros in bank fees. bored.gif
10-13-2017, 08:31 PM #10
Below Average Genius Member
Posts:2,546 Threads:246 Joined:Apr 2013
(10-13-2017, 08:18 PM)Octo Wrote:  Cash only.

You have no idea what crap I had to wade through to cash in an American check in a Finnish bank once! I think it was $100, took over 3 weeks to handle (because it had to be sent back to the US bank by snail-mail for the transfer to be finalized) and cost me 30 euros in bank fees.  bored.gif

On a serious note*, holy crap.

I will send you cash and will kiss it before mailing so it brings you only good luck. Zimbabwe dollars have some serious magic powers, ya know.

*Oh look, an unintended pun!

Pray for me. hug.gif

Hey which one of you stopped praying for me - it was a rough week. LOL
10-13-2017, 08:34 PM #11
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:40,960 Threads:1,544 Joined:Feb 2011
Deal!

chuckle.gif
10-13-2017, 09:13 PM #12
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,213 Threads:232 Joined:Feb 2011
You Guys
do not dare to bring me into this deal of your's .

I have a new wife on the way from Botswana , if she get's the idea I'm dealing in copyrights

she'll want half
10-13-2017, 09:27 PM #13
Below Average Genius Member
Posts:2,546 Threads:246 Joined:Apr 2013
(10-13-2017, 09:13 PM)Cynicalabsurdance Wrote:  You Guys
do not dare to bring me into this deal of your's .

I have a new wife on the way from Botswana , if she get's the idea I'm dealing in copyrights

she'll want half

rofl.gif

Pray for me. hug.gif

Hey which one of you stopped praying for me - it was a rough week. LOL
10-14-2017, 03:01 AM #14
Below Average Genius Member
Posts:2,546 Threads:246 Joined:Apr 2013
(10-13-2017, 09:13 PM)Cynicalabsurdance Wrote:  You Guys
do not dare to bring me into this deal of your's .

I have a new wife on the way from Botswana , if she get's the idea I'm dealing in copyrights

she'll want half

Half? You lucky dog you! chuckle.gif

Pray for me. hug.gif

Hey which one of you stopped praying for me - it was a rough week. LOL



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