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Swimmer Dies After Shark Bit off his Peninsula!
06-05-2018, 05:45 AM #1
Team Uzi ռօ ǟʀȶɨʄɨƈɨǟʟ ֆաɛɛȶɛռɛʀֆ
Posts:1,768 Threads:85 Joined:Jul 2017
Man,
I always wanted to use  "peninsula" in that context.

But geez, can't figure out how the shark nipped his junk if he had been wearing his shorts.
http://torontosun.com/news/world/swimmer...-off-penis.

The incident occurred on Piedade beach near Recife on the central coast.

Rescuers tried to stem the gushing blood with tourniquets. In a graphic video posted online, the crowd urges da Silva to breath.

En route to hospital, the stricken young man suffered two heart attacks and was listed in critical condition.

Experts believe the predator was likely a tiger shark.
06-05-2018, 05:51 AM #2
Team Uzi ռօ ǟʀȶɨʄɨƈɨǟʟ ֆաɛɛȶɛռɛʀֆ
Posts:1,768 Threads:85 Joined:Jul 2017
Hot Dog!
İmage
Fire up the grill!
06-05-2018, 07:54 AM #3
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:40,983 Threads:1,560 Joined:Feb 2011
Ouch! Maybe it looked like a fishing worm that wiggled its way out the shorts damned.gif
06-05-2018, 07:57 AM #4
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:30,212 Threads:1,484 Joined:Feb 2011
Maybe it's studying to be a rabbi, may require a bit more precision.
06-05-2018, 03:08 PM #5
Elegant Fail Member
Posts:334 Threads:14 Joined:Apr 2018
lol.gif Practice makes perfect.
06-05-2018, 03:58 PM #6
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:11,095 Threads:753 Joined:Feb 2011
I've spent all these years warning guys about braces... sad2.gif


Must have been a Bris shark.

coffeetime.gif
06-05-2018, 08:31 PM #7
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:11,095 Threads:753 Joined:Feb 2011
Guess you didn't know it was surgically reattached AND extended.
Team Missile Show this Post
06-05-2018, 08:40 PM #8
Team Missile Incognito Anonymous
 


06-05-2018, 09:31 PM #9
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:30,212 Threads:1,484 Joined:Feb 2011
(06-05-2018, 08:40 PM)Team Missile Wrote:  


lol.gif I haven't heard that in a long, long time.
06-05-2018, 09:38 PM #10
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:40,983 Threads:1,560 Joined:Feb 2011
(06-05-2018, 08:31 PM)Kreeper Wrote:  Guess you didn't know it was surgically reattached AND extended.

A telescopic penis? hmm.gif
06-05-2018, 10:34 PM #11
Team Uzi ռօ ǟʀȶɨʄɨƈɨǟʟ ֆաɛɛȶɛռɛʀֆ
Posts:1,768 Threads:85 Joined:Jul 2017
(06-05-2018, 09:38 PM)Octo Wrote:  
(06-05-2018, 08:31 PM)Kreeper Wrote:  Guess you didn't know it was surgically reattached AND extended.

A telescopic penis? hmm.gif

Better than a Microscopic one.
LOL
06-05-2018, 11:09 PM #12
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:11,095 Threads:753 Joined:Feb 2011
(06-05-2018, 09:38 PM)Octo Wrote:  
(06-05-2018, 08:31 PM)Kreeper Wrote:  Guess you didn't know it was surgically reattached AND extended.

A telescopic penis? hmm.gif

All of them are.

And if they aren't the little blue pill can fix them.

chuckle.gif
06-05-2018, 11:11 PM #13
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:11,095 Threads:753 Joined:Feb 2011
(06-05-2018, 11:02 PM)Below Average Genius Wrote:  
(06-05-2018, 08:31 PM)Kreeper Wrote:  Guess you didn't know it was surgically reattached AND extended.

I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want someone's hand me down shoes let alone their used pencil.

It was his. Still...

A hand me down vs. none?

Easy choice! And it still worked. He even tried to get into pornos but no one cared.
06-05-2018, 11:15 PM #14
Team Uzi ռօ ǟʀȶɨʄɨƈɨǟʟ ֆաɛɛȶɛռɛʀֆ
Posts:1,768 Threads:85 Joined:Jul 2017
(06-05-2018, 11:09 PM)Kreeper Wrote:  
(06-05-2018, 09:38 PM)Octo Wrote:  
(06-05-2018, 08:31 PM)Kreeper Wrote:  Guess you didn't know it was surgically reattached AND extended.

A telescopic penis? hmm.gif

All of them are.

And if they aren't the little blue pill can fix them.

chuckle.gif

My stupid cousin tried snorting one to see if it would work faster.
LOL
He looked just like Jimmy Durante.
İmage
06-05-2018, 11:32 PM #15
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:11,095 Threads:753 Joined:Feb 2011
(06-05-2018, 11:15 PM)Below Average Genius Wrote:  
(06-05-2018, 11:11 PM)Kreeper Wrote:  
(06-05-2018, 11:02 PM)Below Average Genius Wrote:  
(06-05-2018, 08:31 PM)Kreeper Wrote:  Guess you didn't know it was surgically reattached AND extended.

I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want someone's hand me down shoes let alone their used pencil.

It was his. Still...

A hand me down vs. none?

Easy choice! And it still worked. He even tried to get into pornos but no one cared.

Son, do you need a guide dog to tell you when someone is making a joke?  BaconDance.gif  banana.gif

Uhhh...

We are talking hand me down dics...

How could it not be a joke?

I was just waiting for you to mention having to bate with someone else's!

rofl.gif

rofl.gif



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