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IAmComedy Show this Post
07-12-2013, 02:31 AM #31
IAmComedy Incognito Anonymous
 
(07-12-2013, 02:02 AM)Anonymous Kritter Wrote:  Well aren't you just all that and a bag of potato chips too coffeetime.gif


Youre making me hungry.
IAmComedy Show this Post
07-12-2013, 02:32 AM #32
IAmComedy Incognito Anonymous
 
(07-11-2013, 11:56 PM)Octo Wrote:  Leave the theater you say?

Since I own this theater I don't think you're in a position to demand such things.

popcorn2.gif


I love it when they stay.
IAmComedy Show this Post
07-12-2013, 02:33 AM #33
IAmComedy Incognito Anonymous
 
(07-12-2013, 02:01 AM)Cynicalabsurdance Wrote:  As peter ,the last Apostle , He puppets the christ
in a street theater just south of the vatican and washes souls
with his worn brillo pad

Soon the monsoon season will be upon him

and soul washing will be relegated unto the rain
so he must invent a Religion and ask for donations
in order to pay his rent on the cave he dwells in .

Trailers for sale or rent
caves to that fifty cents

no phone no pool
no pets
he doesn't smoke cigarettes

His camel having the Bird Flu
he becomes a foot traveler
by night
and a Bus rider by day

Ending his meals with a prayer
to the Goddess Sophia
he hopes to win her favor and gain acceptance into her Cult
where donations increase because women are more generous than
men .

Sophia is not on line however
and his prayers go to the spam filter
and redirected to junk mail

Alas he is to be satisfied with only His Cult of the Blood
sacrifice of a Christ without heavenly Body
for the body left in a Saucer just months before

Coming to the Mount , he sets his corner stone for
his church of the Silk Pimps

being the first Pope has it's draw backs
but it as well leaves open to set the rules
for the venue

owning to the fact that he was spurned By the Goddess
He declares Women as Evil and denounces them
with his scripture

Sophia has Peter skinned back

No longer a Fore Skin

Peter must take Back Skin as his fate .

From his Back skin position
he can now see clearly his balls
and where they made their mistake

he gives in and allows
for women to enter the church as Nuns

which stands for None for them

meaning no penile injection
for they must remain intact to prove their
loyalty to the Prince of pricks " Peter the d1ck "


excellent.
07-12-2013, 02:33 AM #34
UniqueStranger Art in my heart
Posts:14,881 Threads:420 Joined:Jun 2012
So far, man, I'm getting no comedy from you, or is this a Joker thingie?

07-12-2013, 02:34 AM #35
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:8,251 Threads:191 Joined:Feb 2011
Not having the audacity
Peter must settle for the temerity

temerity being a triple syllable word
no matter that the pagans believe
it to be a third person singular
with bi-polar disorder

Peter pronounces that Temerity
shall become the Trinity
and setting forth a Sacrament for it's
adulation ,,,
Peter engages in Fornication
with his Camel in belief
that a screwed Camel is the cure
for a Bovine Virus while the
bird flu takes it's exit to
infest the swine amongst the Infidels .

Sins begin to show up and worship
The ashes and sack cloth
left in the debris piled against
the Rock of the Sepulcher

Peter steps into the Sins
to shake the dust from
his Goulashes and finds
in the ashes the last
Testament of the lord of the flies

Mildly amused with the text
an Idea begins a storm
behind his brow ,,,

churning and twisting Peters Brain into a Fractal Moment
He dances to the tune played by a Potters wheel
and comes back with a song of his own ,,,


~~~ Peters tune ~~~
"""Oh say can you see
The color of a Nuns
panties
and if you can
then her skirts too short

~~~~ End

he finds the Royalties for his tune are
not paying his Cave Rent

so he rents out the Cave to the Nuns
who have turned
to turning Tricks for Pricks

The Church has it's founding
as a Whorehouse
and the Pimps line up to be next Pope

peter is Framed for heresy against his own
Church and is Crucified in the Blood Atonement Cultist way

A pirate that takes the name of the Lord in Vain
and uses it as his own
wins the Raffle to be next Pimp Pope

The contenders are mega pissed
and hang him from his own Yard Arm
then sink his ship in sacrifice to the dead pope
club .

Martin' has a Thesis he'd like to nail to a door but he publishes
it instead

and it becomes a best seller
known as The Bible ,,,

he buys the Post as Pope with the proceeds
and fingers all the Nuns and whiffs on the results
07-12-2013, 02:40 AM #36
UniqueStranger Art in my heart
Posts:14,881 Threads:420 Joined:Jun 2012
excellent chuckle.gif
07-12-2013, 02:55 AM #37
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:8,251 Threads:191 Joined:Feb 2011
Peter from his Perch in Deathland
Looks down upon his Pimped Flock

all the flock are now victims of bird flu
none shall have their wings

07-12-2013, 02:58 AM #38
UniqueStranger Art in my heart
Posts:14,881 Threads:420 Joined:Jun 2012
(07-12-2013, 02:55 AM)Cynicalabsurdance Wrote:  Peter from his Perch in Deathland
Looks down upon his Pimped Flock

all the flock are now victims of bird flu
none shall have their wings


Unless a bell sounds.
07-12-2013, 03:03 AM #39
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:8,251 Threads:191 Joined:Feb 2011
Peters skin back , now seeks his Balls again

alas
they have been severed and used as clappers for
whom the Bell Tolls

Hardened by a Life of Piety

peters balls make the Toll of the Bell
a sounding release unto
the wingless flock

Yea ,,, though they walk in the shadows
they cannot hide form the Bovine Virus

Sacrificing two chickens and a Goat
To the God of the Bovines

Sophia gives them sustenance

But exacts a price from the Pimps
for doing business in her domain

Sophia being The Madam
07-12-2013, 03:05 AM #40
UniqueStranger Art in my heart
Posts:14,881 Threads:420 Joined:Jun 2012
(07-12-2013, 03:03 AM)Cynicalabsurdance Wrote:  Peters skin back , now seeks his Balls again

alas
they have been severed and used as clappers for
whom the Bell Tolls

Hardened by a Life of Piety

peters balls make the Toll of the Bell
a sounding release unto
the wingless flock

Yea ,,, though they walk in the shadows
they cannot hide form the Bovine Virus

Sacrificing two chickens and a Goat
To the God of the Bovines

Sophia gives them sustenance

But exacts a price from the Pimps
for doing business in her domain

Sophia being The Madam


What do you mean Sophia being The Madam? 13.gif
07-12-2013, 03:48 AM #41
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:8,251 Threads:191 Joined:Feb 2011
Oh GAWD

a Madam defined

In The U.S. a Madam was the proprietor of a house of prostitution

The owner of the whorehouse if female

is referred to as " The Madam of the House "

a female Pimp

a wench who has a stable of hookers under her


anything else i can answer for you while I am telling the Peter Tale ?
07-12-2013, 03:55 AM #42
UniqueStranger Art in my heart
Posts:14,881 Threads:420 Joined:Jun 2012
(07-12-2013, 03:48 AM)Cynicalabsurdance Wrote:  Oh GAWD

a Madam defined

In The U.S. a Madam was the proprietor of a house of prostitution

The owner of the whorehouse if female

is referred to as " The Madam of the House "

a female Pimp

a wench who has a stable of hookers under her


anything else i can answer for you while I am telling the Peter Tale ?


Only one question, why, Sophia being an assertive strong woman, has to be labelled a Madam?
07-12-2013, 03:57 AM #43
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:8,251 Threads:191 Joined:Feb 2011
That ,,, you have to ask her .

She's the one that took the position

and for her reasons
not mine

I am just the Raconteur ,,, savvy ?

chuckle.gif
IAmComedy Show this Post
07-12-2013, 04:05 AM #44
IAmComedy Incognito Anonymous
 


its the drama queens that what to complicate matters, on all levels, of any subject.

that is why shrinks get paid so much, they are actually writing onto your script, thus creating more problems.

i say ğck them. i say a rock from space needs to land on their houses, and kill their entire families. i saw that when visting the zoo, a bear needs to ğck the wife of these people, and stop the breeding, and that the zoo snake eat the dick of the man.

what part of you dont you understand? the obvious problem are humans, but you sexists, whichever side you are on, want to make it about one or the other.

its humans stupid. ğck you humans.

no where was i before the liberal came in?

oh yes, (mike up to mouth) WOMEN. yes, yes, that spice is nice, and everything rice, shït.

i got to tell ya, but the axe wound is named axe wound for a reason, so just because you have one, doesnt mean its the deepest around. second, its not made of even the gold and sliver you like so much, and when a cat runs toward you thinking fish are around, well, i think that theory is empirical observable. but go ahead honey, and still blame it on the dick problems.

especially in some extreme cases, where a four legged animal is more arousing than what you call the love canal.

now, as for the husband?

its rather comical that men are judged by penis's. Most men are not as smart as a pile of wood anyway, and are more gullible than a puddle.

What part of Human is not understood?

humans are the worst possible thing that ever happened in all the cosmos, like the Iraqis, the rest of the cosmos wont know that though, until they are awakened early in the morning to uncle sams dick up their ass. and yes, in the future, that is going to be the new name of humanity, once the government buys it, and patents the genes.

so if the aliens were actually superior to humanity, they would invade and kill humanity preemptively. now think about that for a moment.

all your bases really do belong to us. ahaha ha ha ha. uh hummmmmm.....

wait, let me add to my list. book worms. nerds. rednecks. and feminists. and the hypocrite of course.

i think all these people in this label, should immediately start ƒükking themselves with 4 foot long dildos until all that shït pops out. like zit, and then maybe they will feel better.

or we could just bring you up stage, and let the midget work it out until you are smiling.?..

i dont know.

at my age, you just dont care what a prissy pants thinks anyways.

thank heavens, otherwise i would be hearing the mona lisa while ğkking britney spears.

those there is hopes for your educations yet, just go back to school and get kicked in the twat a few more years, and that will straighten you out.

label this one muff balls. if you look past the exterior i am a lesbian trapped in a mans body that likes vagina.

(womens fem movement in the crowd says) "dick lover". "traitor".

Now now ladies, I know that you are just envious, because this the position you want to be in, but wait until the next life, when I am a midget that has a big dick, and likes it in the ass as well.

That will really frustrate you.

For the men in the audience, no I will not suck your dick "the right way" after the show either.

Hey you (points), didnt I see you are craigslist asking the same thing the other day?

Isnt that something huh?

Craigslist. I remember when it first came out, and everyone was like "yeah man, this is going to rock, think how much pussy we could get in a week".

Now, all that is on craigslist are dick and balls for other dick and balls; and assholes, and the occasional woman that weighs 500 pounds, and tits that hang to the ground, that really looks like a man dressed up in a fat girl suit.

The "dating sites" are nothing but robots, and people wanting to get married on the first date.

Dont you also love the profile phrase "big and beautiful". When has being obese ever beautiful?

Is that something we want to shoot for in the genetic pool? Is it really that "wonderful" for the Human race?

Ia there really that point, when you look in the mirror, and determine that you need to stop eating?

I dont think there is. The kids today have a steady diet of tv, candy, and cola, so i fully exspect at any time, a very strange mutation to occur, whereby children will start turning to some weird alien plastic bag sort of thing, that farts and shits, and does little else.

Sounds like the nazi obedience training to me, perfected.

But today, we call it "being good parents".

Did I mention i am passing out free t shirts tonight?

That is the future of huamnity. t shirts. there will be four colors. 1. slave. 2. a slaves slave. 3. hyper slave. 4. absolute slave. all those below 1, will be fighting for such an esteemed position, as slave.

my free shirts are looking better and better arent they?

The People at Leningrad said the same thing to the Germans.

(holds up shirt with writing - "please, kill myself"). at least for a while they did. at least for a while.

so whats for supper tonight?

which killer are you taking from the kitchen tonight?

and dont give me that "growing your own shït", no one does that, and growing some mint for your tea does not count.









IAmComedy Show this Post
07-12-2013, 04:23 AM #45
IAmComedy Incognito Anonymous
 
(07-12-2013, 03:57 AM)Cynicalabsurdance Wrote:  That ,,, you have to ask her .

She's the one that took the position

and for her reasons
not mine

I am just the Raconteur ,,, savvy ?

chuckle.gif


Recon huh?

Well since this all ends in a cavity search (undoes jeans, turns around drops jeans, and farts), here is to the pregame ceremony!



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