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The Ramblings of a Mad Man
05-16-2013, 10:55 PM #1
Kal Ort Por Member
Posts:17 Threads:5 Joined:Mar 2013
"My mind is a raging torrent..."

Well...it is.

"When you lie down with dogs, you will get up with fleas"

Self-reflection on my part. A moment of clarity on a Monday morning last month.

Why was I angry? Why was I defending my reputation to those who didn't deserve my time?

Why did I give my support and trust to those who attempted to destroy my spirit and fester doubt in my mind?

The answer was...I'm human. A self-imposed delusion that others have good intentions. A childlike belief that the ones you've befriended have your best interests at heart.

So I had an awakening of sorts.

Instead of turning the other cheek I attacked and returned venom tenfold. Scorching the earth with vitriol and burning every bridge in my path.

Caught up in hatred and distraction. Surrounded by toxic people.

No regrets. It's how I cope.

I did learn something...these vile creatures are who they are because they've lost the ability to love themselves. And through my small awakening and weeks of studying them without rose-colored glasses...their true faces were revealed.

The people I thought I knew were nothing more than annoying skin tags.

So I had them removed.

/livejournal


I really like it here. Thanks for having me.

hug.gif

05-16-2013, 11:10 PM #2
Accidental Stoner Member
Posts:8,706 Threads:78 Joined:Feb 2011




05-16-2013, 11:17 PM #3
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:30,190 Threads:1,473 Joined:Feb 2011
(05-16-2013, 10:55 PM)Kal Ort Por Wrote:  "My mind is a raging torrent..."

Well...it is.

"When you lie down with dogs, you will get up with fleas"

Self-reflection on my part. A moment of clarity on a Monday morning last month.

Why was I angry? Why was I defending my reputation to those who didn't deserve my time?

Why did I give my support and trust to those who attempted to destroy my spirit and fester doubt in my mind?

The answer was...I'm human. A self-imposed delusion that others have good intentions. A childlike belief that the ones you've befriended have your best interests at heart.

So I had an awakening of sorts.

Instead of turning the other cheek I attacked and returned venom tenfold. Scorching the earth with vitriol and burning every bridge in my path.

Caught up in hatred and distraction. Surrounded by toxic people.

No regrets. It's how I cope.

I did learn something...these vile creatures are who they are because they've lost the ability to love themselves. And through my small awakening and weeks of studying them without rose-colored glasses...their true faces were revealed.

The people I thought I knew were nothing more than annoying skin tags.

So I had them removed.

/livejournal


I really like it here. Thanks for having me.

hug.gif


You're more than welcome! hi5.gif beercheer.gif

wonder.gif
05-17-2013, 12:20 AM #4
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:40,727 Threads:1,523 Joined:Feb 2011
Sounds like you had some nice pausing and reflecting there. It's good to reset the system once in a while.

It's great to have you Kal. hug.gif
05-17-2013, 08:47 AM #5
Kal Ort Por Member
Posts:17 Threads:5 Joined:Mar 2013
There is one in particular that I had to remove from my life that is a good soul but incredibly naive.

Giving up that friendship was the hardest part and I'll probably never get over the guilt.

But desperate times call for desperate measures. And cutting indirect negative influence from my daily life takes priority.

A few months ago I would have just accepted the negative environment and granted exceptions...masking my emotions with recreational drugs and alcohol.

Leave it up to the universe and our imperfect use of free will.

Either way, I'll still wake up to my one true love...

BaconDance.gif



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