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The clever thing i heard on the radio the other day
IAmComedy Show this Post
07-13-2013, 05:45 AM #16
IAmComedy Incognito Anonymous
 
i keep reading their are more body cavity searches going on all over north america?

does this mean that when the tanks drive up, you all are going to be bending over?

do you hear that ğkking midget laughing again?

you see, i still see you keeping looking up at the ceiling, still trying to figure out what is going on up there. yes i know, ropes, neon signs, what appears to be a band playing, and really hot girls, its all in your imagination.

now focus. look here. not there. up a little. yes turd buckets, right there, that is the only thing there is, now begone from my sight......

you just think there is fun upstairs. but there is a staircase that never ends, all the while the party appears to be just in reach.

you see, thats you ego, your imagination. since we still live on earth, and physics apply however, if you really did run up those stairs, you would end up on the street.

yeah. its true. no one is behind the curtain, the show is out here......(if you only knew what the narrator has been saying the entire time, but is afraid to talk now)

Shut up, dont tell them my facial and body gestures, they would think their lives are in danger.

let them suck in these dull smoke puffs as i taunt them from behind the veil, wonderful idea, but I will tease them (uncovers the lower half of this face, from the stage curtain, and comes back up front)

Ahh, so the upper workings of the theater are now understood by the audience.

great, now pass that joint, right there, yes you, its this one, its him....get him....

yes officer, i need that joint as evidence, bring it here...

weed is wonderful aint it?

no hangover. cures cancer. prevents crime, uh hummm, i mean disease. i can go on, but everyone knows.

you know what the problem is?

"everyone is a pussies", big ole nasty jelly fishes, wigglin around like they are going to break.

you now think if you even think something out of line, you need to go to prison. was the show cops really that good as propaganda? i think it was for some, i have seen how you have salivated when the "bad guy" gets busted. uh huh.....

and the people who get to make the rules on "what is considered out of line", are the same people that are stealing your money. sending your kids to war so they can steal more money. but ğkking you and your family with the rod of taxes, to pay for more ways of stealing your money, and wiping out any future of existence worth living.

(big goofy grin from the crowd)

so this is how it ends, staring at Bambi helplessly, while tied down to rail road tracks.

what the hell did i do in my past life??? oh thats right, i murdered 50 million people in cold blood. who are these shrinks kidding when they are talking about letting guilt go, while you lay on their couch, being fed a bunch of bullshit.

They are magicians actually. what is really taking place, is the secretary, is coming in the end from your back, and cant see her, while she takes the money out of your wallet.

thats what happens. yes it does. yes it does. yes it does.

that is the only thing that happens. a big "ğck you".

Let me tell you something, one time i had to go to a shrink and the C0ck sucker charged me 500 dollars for an hour of listening to him ask me questions.

really?

i tell ya what, i will answers all them them, at 300 dollars a question, and we will see how much we eventually owe each other. do we have a deal?

get the ğck out of hear, i dont need your money.

thank you, have a wonderful day.

thats how you do it. yeah it is. try it sometime.....

should i bring uip the time i was sent to a mental hospital in africa?

nah, that might be getting ahead of myself. africa was interesting. i like being in a place where you can get car jacked at your local food store, in, or out, of the store.

i see that the coolies have finally started mounting flame throwers under their cars.

that is great, im sure the hunger issues will appreciate it as well. the zims can now have cooked road kill.

funny world, and the things seen. america is a baby park compared to some places, but hey, we need "more", and "more" security to stay safe.

because, i even offend the dike dive bars, and that is saying alot...

no one plays me. but everyone gets played. dont you love how it all works out in the end.....

that is why my motto is ğck you. im not selfish that way. here, take my Popsicle while a put on my t shirt.

did you know that by printing t shirts, you can change the world?

its true. i have dont it several times. all of them but one sucked. sorry. the road to hell is paved with good intentions. this time around im doing the opposite, hoping for better results.

wow. great crowd tonight, im humbled actually. that being in two places at the same time kinda thing. quantum physics. quantum physics is really just the study of who can bullshit themselves and others the most.

it is, im living proof, as the stars are not colliding over your heads in great disappointment.

thats saved for next weekend. you know, i like to keep my visions to myself and all. Mrs. Knicks. you forgot your knickers. Yes, a most unusual scent, tell the band hi for me.

doing acid at 15 really ƒükkêd up my life. it wasnt that it sucked for me or anything, but the way it affected my parents, that then affected me because of their effects.

Its all their fault. blame them. their still alive if you want to spit in their faces.

now america, are you really sure you want to be complacent about the amnesty bill?

i mean, i can understand all the other shït, being a plastic bag fat dough puff robot, that is made in china. i can. its a good life, the american dream even.

but here is the secret, and the motivating factor for you. its going to be given away to others, and you are going to actually have to work for a living.

yes, this is the great changing of the guard, for the plastic bag fat dough puff robot people.

you have been stagnating for to long, and now scientist admit, that plastic does in decompose.

so, a fresh batch of plastic is being moved in, and you are being moved out into the incinerator, just to make sure, in case the government study on decomposing plastics is wrong.

or, you can look at the situation in the terms of garbage disposal systems, and the need to update to a newer model, after 50 years or so. but i can understand how it feels to be the only garbage disposal system around, and its gets lonely, but nothing the trash heap of used garbage disposals wont fix.






07-13-2013, 05:57 AM #17
Below Average Genius Member
Posts:1,792 Threads:137 Joined:Apr 2013
(07-12-2013, 11:31 AM)IAmComedy Wrote:  (static fills every part of the band)

Static. Isnt it soothing? turn it up. yeah, there you go, love it. now keep it on like this for days at a time, and then lets talk.

Ok?


Great.....

The utter stupendous about of static we get everyday, its amazing we can talk at all.

back before communication was outlawed, people were confused and didnt make sense.

Yes, that was before the tower of babble. Madonna was still singing "like a virgin", and coal was still used for heating purposes. Aside from that life, was boring.

the very first man that pointed out the absurdity of it all was stoned to death. Then the other people around him stoned him to death. amazing the capacity of the human mind to observe itself, before its actions ehh?

oh glorious bee, they nectar tastes like slums, the hollow burn of the tree.

(monsanto) we thought you meant it literally.

of course, always blaming someone else arent ya?

yeah, i see how this works.

(gestures to the teenager in the 5th row)

hey, arent you supposed to be home? one reason to check bio metric data as you all came in, to keep your kind out, which ones are your parents? oh, i see, and understand your predicament, can the theater help you in any way?

you want a t shirt?

(flings a t shirt out into the 5th row)

theres your f****ng t shirt. what? finally went to a late night comedy show that treats ya the same as your parents?

whats that? you feel "at home"? oh well good, we would hate to disturb the family.

(theater disclaimer, the midget speaketh, "public notice, all people biometrically read are of 18 years old and up, thank you for enjoying the show")

ok, now that dude has issues.........(looks around at crowd)

dont blame me mother f**kers, you be the ones spending that hard earned money for the sh!t storm, not me. im the one bending over.

yeah, you know it...

and you know what else, most of you laughing in here,are doing so because you are afraid if you dont, your date would think you are stupid. which makes everyone in this room a f****ng moran.

ok, i think this went well, as its now 3 in the morning, and no one has died, started itching from the STD's on the tolliet yet, and an orgy has not started yet in the bathroom, from what i am told, and so, i will remain on stage. but feel free to fu*k while i watch from the stage, i always wanted to be known, not for my comedy, but for my ability to manifest the best peeping tom show on the face of the planet every night.

no, no, i would never hypnotize you into doing that, im only kidding.

oh reading your minds as well? who said i could read your minds?

(midget upstairs- did that ball gag not teach you anything)

apparently not. i believe i swallowed it last time, and sh!t it out on the last crowd.

yes, picture that. (japanease start snapping photographs)

no, not that.

ahh yes, japan. i got off the plane in japan, and thought it was new jork, except with only japanease people in it. poor little fellas with china melting down their island and all.

yeah, long live shrimp. uh yeah, or something like that.

i decided the best way to handle the Japanese was to be staki drunk on saki, and high all the time. yep. saki drunk on saki. thats right.

i never bow, so that was a problem. i have this thing in my back that prevents me from bowing to any other human. except with certain cops, while on duty. on the hood of cruiser, while she has me handcuffed to the search lights.

but that was many visits to jail ago. back when women cops were much more interested in f****ng inmates. no, things were more free then, we did not have so many regulations as now that would prevent such crimes. It would by as if the government of today hires people to molest others without their consent, and spy on them, in order to do so, and government would never do that. i mean, what would be teh point of creating an environment within government, that was conducive to criminal activity? that would be a big waste of money.

only crazy people believe the government would use mafia tactics on itself to further gain control, everyone knows this.

hmmm humm, sticks an ostrich head up your bum. ahhh cheeww fuckk youuuu blaome blatherspoon.

(a woman from audience asks about the charity event for the shirts)
no, we wont kiss now, no thanks, i have still not recovered from my VTD from last months show. no no, not the hookers. not STD's, but VTD...

really, well that is interesting, i never thought about putting a shirt on a building before.

will try it and see what happens. i mean, the worst that can happen is i will die, and the best is that everyone will be pissed off in some way about it.


Hey IAmComedy (or is "Hey sockpuppet" more accurate?) have you seen CynicalAbsurdance anywhere? Where has he gone?

Pray for me. hug.gif
IAmComedy Show this Post
07-13-2013, 06:11 AM #18
IAmComedy Incognito Anonymous
 
(07-13-2013, 05:57 AM)Below Average Genius Wrote:  
(07-12-2013, 11:31 AM)IAmComedy Wrote:  (static fills every part of the band)

Static. Isnt it soothing? turn it up. yeah, there you go, love it. now keep it on like this for days at a time, and then lets talk.

Ok?


Great.....

The utter stupendous about of static we get everyday, its amazing we can talk at all.

back before communication was outlawed, people were confused and didnt make sense.

Yes, that was before the tower of babble. Madonna was still singing "like a virgin", and coal was still used for heating purposes. Aside from that life, was boring.

the very first man that pointed out the absurdity of it all was stoned to death. Then the other people around him stoned him to death. amazing the capacity of the human mind to observe itself, before its actions ehh?

oh glorious bee, they nectar tastes like slums, the hollow burn of the tree.

(monsanto) we thought you meant it literally.

of course, always blaming someone else arent ya?

yeah, i see how this works.

(gestures to the teenager in the 5th row)

hey, arent you supposed to be home? one reason to check bio metric data as you all came in, to keep your kind out, which ones are your parents? oh, i see, and understand your predicament, can the theater help you in any way?

you want a t shirt?

(flings a t shirt out into the 5th row)

theres your f****ng t shirt. what? finally went to a late night comedy show that treats ya the same as your parents?

whats that? you feel "at home"? oh well good, we would hate to disturb the family.

(theater disclaimer, the midget speaketh, "public notice, all people biometrically read are of 18 years old and up, thank you for enjoying the show")

ok, now that dude has issues.........(looks around at crowd)

dont blame me mother f**kers, you be the ones spending that hard earned money for the sh!t storm, not me. im the one bending over.

yeah, you know it...

and you know what else, most of you laughing in here,are doing so because you are afraid if you dont, your date would think you are stupid. which makes everyone in this room a f****ng moran.

ok, i think this went well, as its now 3 in the morning, and no one has died, started itching from the STD's on the tolliet yet, and an orgy has not started yet in the bathroom, from what i am told, and so, i will remain on stage. but feel free to fu*k while i watch from the stage, i always wanted to be known, not for my comedy, but for my ability to manifest the best peeping tom show on the face of the planet every night.

no, no, i would never hypnotize you into doing that, im only kidding.

oh reading your minds as well? who said i could read your minds?

(midget upstairs- did that ball gag not teach you anything)

apparently not. i believe i swallowed it last time, and sh!t it out on the last crowd.

yes, picture that. (japanease start snapping photographs)

no, not that.

ahh yes, japan. i got off the plane in japan, and thought it was new jork, except with only japanease people in it. poor little fellas with china melting down their island and all.

yeah, long live shrimp. uh yeah, or something like that.

i decided the best way to handle the Japanese was to be staki drunk on saki, and high all the time. yep. saki drunk on saki. thats right.

i never bow, so that was a problem. i have this thing in my back that prevents me from bowing to any other human. except with certain cops, while on duty. on the hood of cruiser, while she has me handcuffed to the search lights.

but that was many visits to jail ago. back when women cops were much more interested in f****ng inmates. no, things were more free then, we did not have so many regulations as now that would prevent such crimes. It would by as if the government of today hires people to molest others without their consent, and spy on them, in order to do so, and government would never do that. i mean, what would be teh point of creating an environment within government, that was conducive to criminal activity? that would be a big waste of money.

only crazy people believe the government would use mafia tactics on itself to further gain control, everyone knows this.

hmmm humm, sticks an ostrich head up your bum. ahhh cheeww fuckk youuuu blaome blatherspoon.

(a woman from audience asks about the charity event for the shirts)
no, we wont kiss now, no thanks, i have still not recovered from my VTD from last months show. no no, not the hookers. not STD's, but VTD...

really, well that is interesting, i never thought about putting a shirt on a building before.

will try it and see what happens. i mean, the worst that can happen is i will die, and the best is that everyone will be pissed off in some way about it.


Hey IAmComedy (or is "Hey sockpuppet" more accurate?) have you seen CynicalAbsurdance anywhere? Where has he gone?


not sock puppet, flesh light, its a flesh light. he and i are getting laid in mexico, and staying away from wifes like you.
IAmComedy Show this Post
07-13-2013, 06:16 AM #19
IAmComedy Incognito Anonymous
 
(07-13-2013, 05:15 AM)Beyond Smolensk Wrote:  When I was a kid back in the 1970's and 80's many of the older people use to say during an argument...

"Dont give me any static!" and "I dont wanna hear any of your static!" and "Dont hassle me!" and "Stop hassling me!"


You given me static boy?
IAmComedy Show this Post
07-13-2013, 07:09 AM #20
IAmComedy Incognito Anonymous
 
ahh yes, fathers day is here again.

more static on the radio this week, cool.

yeah, my father used to beat me until i would celebrate fathers day. thats how bad fathers day was for me growing up.

i loved Christmas, best day of the year only getting a lump of coal. it was useful, sleeping in the chicken coup and all.

Dont be given me that staic boy! that was the only thing i ever heard spoken to me from the dad. he was not very talkative anyway, but especially to me. i suppose that is why all the comedian training i had, stuck with me all these years.

how was your child hood?

oh, i see. how about yours? swell.

be grateful you ungrateful bastards.

a good meal to you, to others is a luge that some passer byer spit up. a rest room is a whole in the ground, that 10 other people fight over. a bed, is sleeping on an ant pile, because there are more dangerous kritters in the grass at night.

those poor sum bitches that live like that are ƒükkêd in the asshole all the way down both legs, and up through the mouth, you only have the first 7 inches in yet.

complaining morons. look around you, do you see people impaled on that white picket fence yet? Well good. now go back to playing some stupid pointless game on your computer.

yeah, im in a real good mood tonight. last night i killed to muggers, ƒükkêd the muggie, and had a pound of weed fall in my lap from the sky. i also knew the drone program was really a front for the government to ship drugs in easier.

yeah, so you ğck with my day today, and that little midget is going to destroy another node again.

how do you like my hair? yes, its a mix of colors, but i fainted last night onto a particular set of chemicals, and now what you see, is me trying to cover that up, with nail polish in my hair.

oh, whats that? i look like a dick head? well duh, how else to you find a woman that wanted to be "headed" by a human head, for a fetish?

what im doing tonight is called "advertising".

yes, i did do comedy for a while with a traveling circus. let me give some advice now. if you are 18, and think you are the craziest person alive, dont join a traveling circus, you will end up dead. If you are 18, and think that everyone else is crazy, but you, join a traveling circus after graduation.

that will sort them out.

if you have either type of child, and they want to become a solider, encourage them instead to join a traveling circus.

thats good advice there, yep..

so, i do have a little weed, and will be passing the bong and box around the audience tonight, again.

can you guess the strain?

thought so, and i see we are learning, good, you like that dont you, this learning business.

yeah, some of you like it long time. perhaps generations to be more accurate. not you sweetheart, not you, you are nicely in formed. now take her away. to back of the boiler room, where my mat is. and, well, let her wait.

so greedy women are today, i provide fleas and laughs, and they just want more. what cunts. me kicking her stomachs for 9 months on matter to me and my feelings. i mean, i didnt even say im sorry, for helping with the reasons of why women are so cold in the first place after spitting a kid out.

the cameras in the bathrooms prove that some of you men know exactly what its like to give birth. what are you wives feeding you? Cement and flour? with a touch of water?

come on now, and your wonder why prostate cancer is on the rise. your wive are killing you, because ocopussy runs this shït, and set up men as the fall guy? of course. just what a man would say.

attention......we have a unknown problem on isle 69.

who is going to fix it? which one of you is going to fix it?

Bambi stares dont count.

ahh, now you know, as you did, while looking at the t shirt, the real meaning of life.

dont worry, next week i am expanding my vocabulary for the t shirts. no one likes stale propaganda. fresh fresh fresh.

so what time is the bar opening tonight, it is 11, and all i see are rats, and the homeless man that is the vendor, that sales hot dogs to rats on 29th and park.

dear god, i am drunk. i think. why am i sweating? its hot in here.

this is the way i always feel now, since showing up here, and sleeping in the boiler room. there is also alot of drugs down here, that are left over from the 60's. i have no idea what they are, but they smell great...sniff sniff...

at some point, shooting anything into your arm feels good. ground down gravel is the worst. dont ask, i dont remember any of it, that is what the russian sailors told me. they thought that was a form of punishment, they had no idea what my step father used to do to me with needles. ever since then i get sexual aroused at hospitals.





IAmComedy Show this Post
07-13-2013, 07:54 AM #21
IAmComedy Incognito Anonymous
 
what is it about people i fear?

their presumptions. i have presumed all sorts of things, and most of them have yet to be proven true. and yet language can get you in trouble somehow?

you see i know this is wrong, because if language could kill, everyone on earth would be dead already, trust me on this one folks.

mmmkay?

i have a little experience with the subject at hand.....

alot more, than the average person would ever consider, or desire to have. lets just put it that way.

let me repeat todays lesson, words dont kill people, people do. yes, yes, we seem to forget that every 10 years or so, when the nation has a rather unique BDSM fetish towards each other, whether they consent or not, when the public allows the government to start molesting everyone.

ok, lets be honest about this. there is a name for this scientifically even, humans are so ğkking obsessed with it, its called "Stockholm Syndrome", and is a mental illness.

and you my friends got it.

i am like the white blood cell, that you all try and kill, but in the end i swallow you all, and belch. may a far if your lucky. if you lucky i will allow you to smell you own decomposition.

at this point, i wonder how many ladies, are even smelling and looking at their own shït these days?

i can see it now. ... hmmmmm................... is that really me?

yes doll face, it is, now put on some make up, and lets go out to eat tonight. sonic sounds fantastic....

yeah....and?

i actually think now that hamburgers are a mix between ground horse meat, and ground particle board.

remember that men, when one day you push so hard, that not only you cancerous prostate squirts out, but also your entire colon.

then maybe you will finally start that garden in the back yard.

doubt it. flaming rectal colons forever! as you launch yourself into the wheel chair like a puppy, happy to get another radiation enema treatment. when i was young i always thought those padded seats were for swollen nut sacks. just figured as the body aged the nuts got bigger. wow, my hopes and dreams were dashed when i got my first hymroid. now i roam around the nursing home stealing padded seats like a crack head, on the look out for quarters on the sidewalk.

and the only thing that reminds me of sex anymore, is that moment right before someone else drops their underwear, and pee, in communal bathrooms. i never look at the nurses, that is just torture. the other day i had a really hot nurse, well by my standards, offer to bathe me, and just the thought made me orgasm within 1 second. well, at least the thought of orgasm happened, nothing actually took place. actually, most of us men here in the nursing home, our penis's have turned into rashes, with just slight bumps when erect.

yeah youngen, the things they dont teach you in school...

you need to get out more and talk to people in wheelchairs. i wouldnt know what a woman has to go through, for i never really understood them, and still they confuse the hell out of me. but its policy here at the old folks home, to let bygones be bygones, so the peace is kept, and the staff does not have to pick up bodies in the morning time.

you know, doing my part.

comedians always attract the "i can help you crowd". "you are going to be ""THE"" special project"...

uh huh. do you even know what you have called down upon yourself? do you know the curse you have just spoken?

really?

you want me as your lab rat?

ahahahahahahahahah.......thats really funny.

you know what happened to the last team of scientist that tried that? i plead the 5th, but do you know? oh you dont. well no one else does either. ahahahahahahaha. now take a shirt....

yeah, and then they leave you, while running and screaming "its alive", dear god save us.!!

yeah, the last woman i dated pulled that shït, and i left 10 miles. that was not far enough obviously, for she still called me and pestered away. you know, that point where you go full retard to finally make someone hate you? yeah, that point. i said the most hateful thing i could possibly think of, and so far so good. she has not mailed back, nor called, and hopefully never will again. oh, this problem keeps appearing, i wonder if i scratch it, will it go away.

10 days later the arm falls off. damn, i knew i should have just ignored it.

yeah, thats how you do it. ignore the problem. that always works, unless you got a fire problem. i think everyone should stop taking antibiotics, and then start casting lots of who survives or not.

now that sounds fun.

but this shït, god please, please, please, send a rock from space, you are my only hope.

yeah, thats how i really feel about it. what some tea? how about i lower the air conditioning for you a little? are you feet ok? oh, you poor human, living is so ğkking hard, it would be easier to be dead.

uh huh.

whats that? no, maggots never contemplate the purpose of their existence, thats left to the worms and bacteria. what is your rank in the food chain?




07-13-2013, 08:11 AM #22
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:8,261 Threads:191 Joined:Feb 2011
Poor Below average

don't mind her

she's bi

and bi polar

thinks she's a he

and got picked on as a child by his own mother

~~~~~~ Frosted Glass Ass ~~~~~

below average genius , Thinking in sporadic patterns
from the many years of abuse he put his brain through

using comet cleanser on a crack pipe

He grabs a Bible , Hands it to Satan and ask " Can You read me
a fairy tale ,,,

Satan looks pensive into BAG's eyes and thinks :

" This is my daughter ? "

I have to watch who I sleep with , I thought that Goat was a Sheep ,
now look what I made ,, a Below average Goat Donkey
that thinks it's a Genius of all things "

BAG taps his foot , impatient with Satan for not probing BAG's asshole
by now ,,,
Bag Thinks Satan's getting old and slow

So Bag grabs the pitch fork and sits on it himself

stating as he does so : " Want a Job done right , do it your self,,
and then to Satan ,,
" Right Dad ? "

Satan as Below average for a divorce

below average is adamant , he wants a Red Daddy for a Pimp

Satan drops a Bic Lighter into Bags pants

and Bag becomes the Eunuch he always wished to be .


Below average genius comes into the real world after being awakened
by Satan

and talks sh_t on forums

for his loser life causes him to feel less than others
IAmComedy Show this Post
07-13-2013, 08:28 AM #23
IAmComedy Incognito Anonymous
 
"So Bag grabs the pitch fork and sits on it himself"

Nice, thanks, im stealing it, then im going to molest this hell out of it, until it resembles what i want.

damned.gif
07-13-2013, 08:39 AM #24
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:8,261 Threads:191 Joined:Feb 2011
that'll piss Below Average Genius off ,,,

losing his ass probe to a comedian ,,


Have you seen the web picture of below Average Genious'
sister yet ?

I'll post it for you

MAN ,,, what those Alueads did to her asshole

well ,,,, just like Patty Hearst was turned by Sen Q ,

she now likes Dark Meat hard ,,, she's Talking to Allah
in tongues now .
07-13-2013, 09:06 AM #25
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:8,261 Threads:191 Joined:Feb 2011
[attachment=593][attachment=592]





well

here she is after being turned by Al Qaeda Boys who reamed her .

The Al Queada are Now Pimping below average Genius sister

she loves Muslim Sausage now .

No wonder B-A-G is so hateful towards Muslims and
people of color ,,,

his sister got addicted to big Muslim Dick .


POOR B-A-G

I'll get a Muslim to pray for you Below average genius

not your sister though

she needed a new profession anyway

being a spy for the U.S. was a FAIL for her .
IAmComedy Show this Post
07-13-2013, 09:26 AM #26
IAmComedy Incognito Anonymous
 
i think there are several ladies posing as men who want to show me their breasts right about now, so i am going to take a break, and use the toilet. i promise, i will be back more ƒükkêd up than i am now, so dont worry.
IAmComedy Show this Post
07-13-2013, 12:43 PM #27
IAmComedy Incognito Anonymous
 
you all are really clever pieces of shït, you know that?

the ƒükking shït that comes out of your mouths is disgustingly delightful.

yeah. and even you dainty bitches like bending over while pretending you dont like it. my favorite.

just keep you hands out of my pockets, and everything will be cool.

and that guy carrying around a bird statue, the midget is watching your padre, and the woman who gave birth to you. thats right buddy. no i swear, its not me saying stuff into my ear.

yeah, smart ass pricks. you assholes go back up to the bar, your master pet slaves hasnt unleashed you yet. these are the same fuckers that eat in the basement, chained, from a dog bowel. i dont konw what they eat, and dont ask, i am usually in the jacking off to keep cool, in the boiler room ,and the go to sleep.

i would imagine the brains of living babies, but that is just my first answer.

yeah, i snort pigeon shït, howed ya know?

do i have brown streaks running down my lips again?

im the one under the bridge rolling around like a mad man in the bat guano, and singing jesus love me this i know.

that was me.

one time when i was walking back from being run over by two muslim men for undoing a womans veil and shouting "your free", "your free", i saw a toad on the road, in between kandahar, and some other shït hole, and kissed it, and a coca plant grew in its place, that produced virgins to impregnate before they reach the age of shame. yeah, allah and jesus both approved this message. aman.

ğkking men. there you go again, blaming others, how everyone knows the story about the three fingers point back at you. right?.....right???

yes, but you dont have to bemoan about it. but that doesnt sell. the singular reason why soap operas are still on tv.

drama sells baby.....

no move the hell over i was sitting there. ğkking twat bucket. look at ya, taking up a seat and a half and all. i hate looking at a fat crowd, its a pet peeve of mine actually. no one likes looking at a meal, and feeling hungry. yep...

no one likes looking at a meal and feeling like you want to puke either. uh huh... you know it...

a little to much antidepressants and uranium for me, detox for a year, come back, and we will talk about it.

i import my meat. :damned:

dont stare at me like that, you know exactly what im talking about.

try growing your own. brings a entirely different reason for having a family.

twins anyone?

ok, so Kansas sucks. its to flat, to susceptible to nuclear attack, and now has all the bio research facilities there. does it feel like to you yet, we are all being set up?

Oh, it does, well now i dont feel so paranoid, knowing that you are in the next room over, getting ƒükkêd with a dildo too. and by the sound of it, like it....

im thinking of going to aa tomorrow just to find a freak to take home that night. yeah, that sounds like fun. i can candle being told what a loser i am for an hour, followed by some kinky sex. maybe finally find a regular snag, so that i dont have to keep spending so much money on hookers.

after having four kids, i dont get out much, and miss a big dick to suck, and remind me of shooting watermelons out of my hair hut. Seeds and all. I actually hate my husband, so i start out with him first.

now dont make me strip off my man suit here on stage, otherwise all you bitches are going to be jealous.

now you understand why i hate fat girls. you hate on sexy little me all the time, and i like to rub it in.

what lard ass, you never seen 24 year old hips on a woman that spit out four kids?

you should see my breasts, when im not wearing my push up bra, and you would know that i bought all store bought milk, and slapped their hands with rulers every time they reached for my perky little nipples.

oh, and my the way, not only do i have a "landing strip", but i can also see while standing upright.

my pubic bone is sexy, you forgot you have one, now lick his C0ck, because you are to fat for this pussycat.....

and you wild man, the only riding you do is on your motorcycle, and that doesn't count. same for you cowboy. i was expecting a man with a little more intelligence for the wear, because eventually the wears out, but hey they can still keep a girl guessing cant they?

you know what sucks about being a woman, besides a thousand other things? pretending to be happy. its the worst expectation of them all. an aborted fetus has a better life than a woman, a least then, there is no continual disappointment of underachievement placed by force upon you from society.

what really pisses us off though, is men asking "when did i say that", 5 minutes after they said it. how do you rule the world again, i just dont get it. and the way you cleans your colons, ohhh, its disgusting...

why not at least watch a video online, we promise not to tell your friends, even though they do it as well. yes, I told jims girlfriend. oh you dont like me telling your secrets to others? im so glad we are able to communicate so well.

(meanwhile back at the bee hive)

do we have Jims internet surfing habits yet?

(bee one) No Sir, i mean Mam, sorry Mam, we dont have it yet.

Fine, you dirty dike, I didnt expect you to have it so soon, you never live up to my expectations, and need more dildo training anyway, now you are releaved from duty for the next 24 hours. You know what to do in your spare time, I want you to study how to follow orders.

(bee one) Yes Mam. I understand I have let you down, and it wont happen again, and will stop by your quarters tonight for further corrective measures, if you see such need in there being so.

Very well, bee off then.

(thinking to self, after bee one leaves)

Hmmm, i wonder, if this is an attempt by man, to infiltrate the bee hive, using the dumb cutting board, to get to me? what a bunch of stupid axe handles. we will see how they like it, when we finally take over, and have robots butt ƒück all the men into subjection, of piles of jelly, quivering in fear from our woman phallus. that is the only fantasy we have any longer. seeing them ƒükkêd like they have been ƒükking us for so long.

soon out plan of creating children in a laboratory will be complete, and man will no longer be needed, and we will keep some to ğck with robots, and all the others will be scientifically eradicated. the humane way of course. we even rubbed it in their face, using our movies, but they were to dumb to figure it out. instead of sat around and jacked off into each others assess all day, hoping to prove for themselves somehow, they did not need women as well, and that they could produce children as well.

la de da, its so beautiful in the utopia we have created. there are no more wars. no more hunger. no more starvation. everyone reads. everyone is smart. philosophy is studied more, rather than sports, and jock itch does not exist any more. nor does football. weapons not one.

just a bunch of sexy girls in the sun. playing beach ball on the run. our bodies gleaming in the sun light, diffracting salty air. our curves bodies slither, its such a gay affair.

it not longer smells like ground hog day either, and that is the best thing of all, nor is there a stinky fart, under the covers. its just muffin eaters, and their children.



07-13-2013, 01:22 PM #28
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:42,612 Threads:1,469 Joined:Feb 2011
(07-13-2013, 05:57 AM)Below Average Genius Wrote:  Hey IAmComedy (or is "Hey sockpuppet" more accurate?) have you seen CynicalAbsurdance anywhere? Where has he gone?


No no, they're not the same posters.

İmage
07-13-2013, 01:26 PM #29
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:31,283 Threads:1,438 Joined:Feb 2011
chuckle.gif Not even close.

wonder.gif
07-13-2013, 04:58 PM #30
UniqueStranger Art in my heart
Posts:14,898 Threads:420 Joined:Jun 2012
(07-13-2013, 06:16 AM)IAmComedy Wrote:  
(07-13-2013, 05:15 AM)Beyond Smolensk Wrote:  When I was a kid back in the 1970's and 80's many of the older people use to say during an argument...

"Dont give me any static!" and "I dont wanna hear any of your static!" and "Dont hassle me!" and "Stop hassling me!"


You given me static boy?


I use to hear the older people say "Go away kid, you bother me". George Carlin had class and a razor sharp wit.



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