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Understand & Escape the Friend Zone
Anonymous Kritter Show this Post
12-06-2012, 10:57 AM #1
Anonymous Kritter Incognito Anonymous
 
Anonymous Kritter Show this Post
12-06-2012, 11:02 AM #2
Anonymous Kritter Incognito Anonymous
 
12-06-2012, 11:09 AM #3
オタマジャクシ Member
Posts:1,310 Threads:32 Joined:Nov 2012
Love the ladder theory. Women don't seem to like it or agree with it.

It does explain some female behavior though. "Sigh" but just because an explanation matches observed behavior doesn't mean the explanation is the reason for the observed behavior.
12-06-2012, 08:40 PM #4
UniqueStranger Art in my heart
Posts:14,881 Threads:420 Joined:Jun 2012
Please don't generalize...think responsibly.

Quote:

The problem is that men misunderstand women's intentions for wanting friendship, falsely assuming that ladies only want "one thing."

and

The problem isn't just, as the Bleske-Rechek study shows, that men wildly overestimate their female buddies' sexual interest. It's that they also undervalue their own worth as friends. In a world where we still cling to the belief that women are naturally more intuitive and verbally adept than men, many guys assume that if a woman wants a non-sexual friendship, she'll naturally choose from the ranks of those who "do" friendship well: other women. The idea that a straight woman might want to be close to them without wanting to ğck or marry strikes them as utterly implausible. As a result, men do two things at once: they overrate their own sexual irresistibility and depreciate everything else they might have to offer. Little wonder, then, that so many dudes wrongly assume that their lady friends are crushing on them.


http://ca.jezebel.com/5931679/how-to-be-...o-bang-him
12-06-2012, 09:36 PM #5
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:31,276 Threads:1,438 Joined:Feb 2011
Interesting thread. Never gave much thought to all this, in all fairness not all men think like this. This thing is blatantly stereotypical. coffeetime.gif

wonder.gif
12-06-2012, 09:51 PM #6
UniqueStranger Art in my heart
Posts:14,881 Threads:420 Joined:Jun 2012
I ageee JR, but this normally gets my goat up.

İmage

But, I managed to contain my ffs's.
Anonymous Kritter Show this Post
12-06-2012, 10:38 PM #7
Anonymous Kritter Incognito Anonymous
 


Discusses the agenda of those who have and continue to change the perception and actions of society to the family and sex. The research of Bertrand Russell at his private crown charter school in the 1930's. Encouraged children to experiment sexually at a younger age, leading to instability and breakdown of the children. That research was put into action, leading to the broken society of today.sad2.gif

An old thread discussion on Bertrand Russell http://www.outlawjournalism.com/forum/vi...c.php?t=64
12-06-2012, 11:09 PM #8
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:42,601 Threads:1,469 Joined:Feb 2011
I can't say I identify with that ladder theory... Personality is everything and I don't think assholiness is attractive at all. 13.gif
12-06-2012, 11:37 PM #9
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:31,276 Threads:1,438 Joined:Feb 2011
lmao2.gif So...what do you really think Rog? 37.gif

wonder.gif
12-07-2012, 04:23 AM #10
Shadow Mrs. Buckwheat
Posts:12,782 Threads:1,182 Joined:Feb 2011
None of the things described attracts me. What I find irresistable is courtesy. Looks, money, fitness, all secondary, but if I meet a man who treats me like a lady, he has my instant interest. It means he's giving me a chance to be courteous back. A lack of courtesy shows a lack of respect. And that goes both ways btw.
Anonymous Kritter Show this Post
12-07-2012, 05:30 AM #11
Anonymous Kritter Incognito Anonymous
 
(12-06-2012, 11:09 PM)Octo Wrote:  I can't say I identify with that ladder theory... Personality is everything and I don't think assholiness is attractive at all. 13.gif


I don't think thinking has anything to do with it.

It's evolutionary instinct.

It's what your unconscious thinks that matters ;)

...you know? ...why you do things without knowing or thinking you know when you are actually in denial or your true self.
12-07-2012, 06:11 AM #12
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:42,601 Threads:1,469 Joined:Feb 2011
(12-07-2012, 05:30 AM)Anonymous Kritter Wrote:  
(12-06-2012, 11:09 PM)Octo Wrote:  I can't say I identify with that ladder theory... Personality is everything and I don't think assholiness is attractive at all. 13.gif


I don't think thinking has anything to do with it.

It's evolutionary instinct.

It's what your unconscious thinks that matters ;)

...you know? ...why you do things without knowing or thinking you know when you are actually in denial or your true self.


I do nothing without knowing or thinking, and there's no denial involved.

Actually, the unconscious doesn't think. It's impossible for us to know what the unconscious does because the second we become aware of it, it's not unconscious anymore. beercheer.gif
Anonymous Kritter Show this Post
12-07-2012, 06:37 AM #13
Anonymous Kritter Incognito Anonymous
 
(12-07-2012, 06:11 AM)Octo Wrote:  
(12-07-2012, 05:30 AM)Anonymous Kritter Wrote:  
(12-06-2012, 11:09 PM)Octo Wrote:  I can't say I identify with that ladder theory... Personality is everything and I don't think assholiness is attractive at all. 13.gif


I don't think thinking has anything to do with it.

It's evolutionary instinct.

It's what your unconscious thinks that matters ;)

...you know? ...why you do things without knowing or thinking you know when you are actually in denial or your true self.


I do nothing without knowing or thinking, and there's no denial involved.

Actually, the unconscious doesn't think. It's impossible for us to know what the unconscious does because the second we become aware of it, it's not unconscious anymore. beercheer.gif


You tully are a wise one.

...but how often do you think about it only after doing it? Is that not your unconscious working and you only coming to terms with it after the fact?

I realize greater reasons for the things I do after doing them all the time... sometimes it creeps me the ğck out. I consider it "thinking" with your gut(body actuator brain/neural knot/enteric mind). Acting without always knowing why(or completely why) at the moment but realizing it later and seeing the truth of it and the truth of self within it.

I believe it may have something to do with cause and effect reversal(effect precedong cause). One realizes the reason to do something only that something was already done ...but would not have been done without the subsequent realization ...may be a critical way of operating "silently" with perfect timing. This can be important as pre-thinking actions may draw attention from interfering factors and tainting pre-judgements.

To act without thinking... to move without moving. To realize the "why" we do instead doing things because of a preconceived "why". Spontaneity is an indicator of true source access.

In a fight between masters to "think" of the next move is a delay risk not worth taking. One must move reflexively... "muscle memory". This is the gut mind at work. The processor brain in your head merely plots the next possible moves while your enteric acts on those pathways.
12-07-2012, 07:54 AM #14
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:42,601 Threads:1,469 Joined:Feb 2011
(12-07-2012, 06:37 AM)Anonymous Kritter Wrote:  
(12-07-2012, 06:11 AM)Octo Wrote:  
(12-07-2012, 05:30 AM)Anonymous Kritter Wrote:  
(12-06-2012, 11:09 PM)Octo Wrote:  I can't say I identify with that ladder theory... Personality is everything and I don't think assholiness is attractive at all. 13.gif


I don't think thinking has anything to do with it.

It's evolutionary instinct.

It's what your unconscious thinks that matters ;)

...you know? ...why you do things without knowing or thinking you know when you are actually in denial or your true self.


I do nothing without knowing or thinking, and there's no denial involved.

Actually, the unconscious doesn't think. It's impossible for us to know what the unconscious does because the second we become aware of it, it's not unconscious anymore. beercheer.gif


You tully are a wise one.

...but how often do you think about it only after doing it? Is that not your unconscious working and you only coming to terms with it after the fact?

I realize greater reasons for the things I do after doing them all the time... sometimes it creeps me the ğck out. I consider it "thinking" with your gut(body actuator brain/neural knot/enteric mind). Acting without always knowing why(or completely why) at the moment but realizing it later and seeing the truth of it and the truth of self within it.

I believe it may have something to do with cause and effect reversal(effect precedong cause). One realizes the reason to do something only that something was already done ...but would not have been done without the subsequent realization ...may be a critical way of operating "silently" with perfect timing. This can be important as pre-thinking actions may draw attention from interfering factors and tainting pre-judgements.

To act without thinking... to move without moving. To realize the "why" we do instead doing things because of a preconceived "why". Spontaneity is an indicator of true source access.

In a fight between masters to "think" of the next move is a delay risk not worth taking. One must move reflexively... "muscle memory". This is the gut mind at work. The processor brain in your head merely plots the next possible moves while your enteric acts on those pathways.


Sometimes when we act on gut instinct we do get things right because it doesn't involve thinking. Our consciousness is an amazingly lightweight and crude tool to relay reality to us. We receive and process and enormous amount of information at any given point in time but only become aware of a fraction of it. What is this mechanism that decides what we need to become aware of?

The gut instinct is acting without thinking and I trust my brain to work in the background and let me become aware of any good idea I might have. chuckle.gif

Definitely another good reason to keep your gut bacteria at optimal levels.

AK, your post totally reminded me of a most excellent book. Get a copy for yourself for Christmas!

The User Illusion
http://www.amazon.com/User-Illusion-Cutt...0140230122
Quote:As John Casti wrote, "Finally, a book that really does explain consciousness." This groundbreaking work by Denmark's leading science writer draws on psychology, evolutionary biology, information theory, and other disciplines to argue its revolutionary point: that consciousness represents only an infinitesimal fraction of our ability to process information. Although we are unaware of it, our brains sift through and discard billions of pieces of data in order to allow us to understand the world around us. In fact, most of what we call thought is actually the unconscious discarding of information. What our consciousness rejects constitutes the most valuable part of ourselves, the "Me" that the "I" draws on for most of our actions--fluent speech, riding a bicycle, anything involving expertise. No wonder that, in this age of information, so many of us feel empty and dissatisfied. As engaging as it is insightful, this important book encourages us to rely more on what our instincts and our senses tell us so that we can better appreciate the richness of human life.
Anonymous Kritter Show this Post
12-07-2012, 09:54 AM #15
Anonymous Kritter Incognito Anonymous
 
No can do. Already gifted Accelerando to myself for Xmas.

Thanks for the thought anyways!



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