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didn't realise things were this bad in Canada
05-31-2012, 11:48 PM #1
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,032 Threads:791 Joined:Mar 2011


How do you tell the difference between a Canadian Police Officer, an Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer?



QUESTION: You're on duty by yourself walking on a deserted street late at night. Suddenly, an armed man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and lunges at you. You are carrying a Glock 40 and you are an expert shot, however you have only a split second to react before he reaches you. What do you do?



ANSWER:



CANADIAN POLICE OFFICER:





Firstly the officer must consider the man's Human Rights. (they forgot: Is this really a knife or a ceremonial dagger?)



1) Does the man look poor or oppressed?



2) Is he newly arrived in this country and does not yet understand the law?



3) Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?



4) Am I dressed provocatively?



5) Could I run away?



6) Could I possibly swing my gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?



7) Should I try and negotiate with him to discuss his wrong doings?



8) Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?



9) Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society?



10) Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?



11) If I were to grab his knees and hold on, would he still want to stab and kill me?



12) If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed if he falls over, knocks his head and kills himself? .



13) If I shoot and wound him, and lose the subsequent court case, does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and the loss of my family home?





AUSTRALIAN POLICE OFFICER:



BANG!











AMERICAN POLICE OFFICER:



BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! 'click'...Reload...BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

(Sergeant arrives at scene later and remarks: 'Nice grouping!').
06-01-2012, 12:17 AM #2
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:42,612 Threads:1,469 Joined:Feb 2011
They have a checklist for that type of scenario? blonde.gif



I don't think it's that bad... damned.gif
06-01-2012, 05:37 AM #3
Ghostie Member
Posts:1,074 Threads:212 Joined:Mar 2011
lmao.gif so truecheers.giflmao.gif
06-01-2012, 05:03 PM #4
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:10,599 Threads:635 Joined:Feb 2011
That wasn't a very accurate representation of the American cop.


What about all the backup that would come charging in the stomp on the guy and beat him with their night sticks?


coffeetime.gif

I am not your rolling wheels, I am the highway
I am not your carpet ride I am the sky
I am not your blowing wind, I am the lightning
I am not your autumn moon, I am the night
The night
06-01-2012, 05:14 PM #5
Shadow Mrs. Buckwheat
Posts:12,782 Threads:1,182 Joined:Feb 2011
What's a glock? 13.gif
06-01-2012, 05:21 PM #6
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:10,599 Threads:635 Joined:Feb 2011
(06-01-2012, 05:14 PM)Shadow Wrote:  What's a glock? 13.gif



İmage


GLOCK

I am not your rolling wheels, I am the highway
I am not your carpet ride I am the sky
I am not your blowing wind, I am the lightning
I am not your autumn moon, I am the night
The night
06-01-2012, 05:22 PM #7
Shadow Mrs. Buckwheat
Posts:12,782 Threads:1,182 Joined:Feb 2011
blonde.gif chuckle.gif
06-01-2012, 05:29 PM #8
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:42,612 Threads:1,469 Joined:Feb 2011
lmao.gif
06-01-2012, 05:48 PM #9
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:10,599 Threads:635 Joined:Feb 2011
Hey, baby. Wanna touch my big Glock?


İmage



lmao.gif

I am not your rolling wheels, I am the highway
I am not your carpet ride I am the sky
I am not your blowing wind, I am the lightning
I am not your autumn moon, I am the night
The night
06-01-2012, 05:54 PM #10
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:42,612 Threads:1,469 Joined:Feb 2011
damned.gif


aaah2.gif
06-01-2012, 05:55 PM #11
Shadow Mrs. Buckwheat
Posts:12,782 Threads:1,182 Joined:Feb 2011
lmao.gif rofl.gif NO!!!! aaah2.gif
06-01-2012, 06:04 PM #12
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:10,599 Threads:635 Joined:Feb 2011
lmao.gif

I am not your rolling wheels, I am the highway
I am not your carpet ride I am the sky
I am not your blowing wind, I am the lightning
I am not your autumn moon, I am the night
The night
06-01-2012, 06:31 PM #13
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:31,283 Threads:1,438 Joined:Feb 2011
15.gif That poor stupid ass mofo. Who was he trying to impress with that dumb shït?

wonder.gif



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