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difficult court decision
05-18-2014, 04:39 AM #1
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,032 Threads:791 Joined:Mar 2011
An interesting turn of events in Mt. Vernon, Texas...


Diamond D's brothel began construction on an expansion of their building to increase their ever-growing business. In response, the local Baptist Church started a campaign to block the business from expanding -- with morning, afternoon, and evening prayer sessions at their church.

Work on Diamond D's progressed right up until the week before the grand reopening when lightning struck the whorehouse and burned it to the ground!

After the cat-house was burned to the ground by the lightning strike, the church folks were rather smug in their outlook, bragging about "the power of prayer."

But late last week 'Big Jugs' Jill Diamond, the owner/madam, sued the church, the preacher and the entire congregation on the grounds that the church ... "was ultimately responsible for the demise of her building and her business -- either through direct or indirect divine actions or means."

In its reply to the court, the church vehemently and vociferously denied any and all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise.

The crusty old judge read through the plaintiff's complaint and the defendant's reply, and at the opening hearing he commented, "I don't know how the hell I'm going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, that we now have a whorehouse owner who staunchly believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that thinks it's all bullsh*t."
failboat Show this Post
05-18-2014, 05:58 AM #2
failboat Incognito Anonymous
 
(05-18-2014, 04:39 AM)ocker1 Wrote:  An interesting turn of events in Mt. Vernon, Texas...


Diamond D's brothel began construction on an expansion of their building to increase their ever-growing business. In response, the local Baptist Church started a campaign to block the business from expanding -- with morning, afternoon, and evening prayer sessions at their church.

Work on Diamond D's progressed right up until the week before the grand reopening when lightning struck the whorehouse and burned it to the ground!

After the cat-house was burned to the ground by the lightning strike, the church folks were rather smug in their outlook, bragging about "the power of prayer."

But late last week 'Big Jugs' Jill Diamond, the owner/madam, sued the church, the preacher and the entire congregation on the grounds that the church ... "was ultimately responsible for the demise of her building and her business -- either through direct or indirect divine actions or means."

In its reply to the court, the church vehemently and vociferously denied any and all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise.

The crusty old judge read through the plaintiff's complaint and the defendant's reply, and at the opening hearing he commented, "I don't know how the hell I'm going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, that we now have a whorehouse owner who staunchly believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that thinks it's all bullsh*t."

chuckle.gif

the power of courts. lol.gif
05-18-2014, 09:30 AM #3
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:31,283 Threads:1,438 Joined:Feb 2011
chuckle.gif

wonder.gif
05-18-2014, 12:40 PM #4
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:42,615 Threads:1,469 Joined:Feb 2011
lol.gif
05-18-2014, 01:12 PM #5
DaJavoo If looks could kilt
Posts:1,851 Threads:45 Joined:Mar 2011
In every insurance policy I've ever seen, the insurer is ALWAYS off the hook when 'Acts of God' are involved. chuckle.gif
05-18-2014, 02:19 PM #6
White Ribbon call me
Posts:9,779 Threads:371 Joined:Apr 2013
praise jesus

rofl.gif
05-18-2014, 03:48 PM #7
Shadow Mrs. Buckwheat
Posts:12,782 Threads:1,182 Joined:Feb 2011
lol.gif nothing could demonstrate hypocrisy better than that joke.
05-18-2014, 04:00 PM #8
Accidental Stoner Member
Posts:8,821 Threads:70 Joined:Feb 2011
chuckle.gif
05-18-2014, 05:29 PM #9
Shadow Mrs. Buckwheat
Posts:12,782 Threads:1,182 Joined:Feb 2011
An Amish man wanted a loan for $500. He approached his local banker. The banker pulled out the loan application, asking, "What are you going to do with the money?"

"Take some jewelry to city and sell it," said the Amish man.

"What have you got for collateral?" queried the banker, going strictly by the book.

"Don't know what collateral means."

"Well that's something of value that would cover the cost of the loan. Have you got any vehicles?"

"Yes, I have a 1949 Chevy pickup."

The banker shook his head, "How about livestock?"

"Yes, I have a horse."

"How old is it?"

"I don't know; it has no teeth."

Finally the banker decided to make the $500 loan.

Several weeks later the Amish man was back in the bank. He pulled out a roll of bills, "Here's the money to pay loan," he said, handing the entire amount including interest.

"What are you going to do with the rest of that money?"

"Put it in my pocket."

"Why don't you deposit it in my bank?" he asked.

"I don't know what deposit means."

"Well, you put the money in our bank and we take care of it for you. When you want to use it you can withdraw it."

The Amish man leaned across the desk, looking suspiciously at the banker, and asked, "What you got for collateral?"
05-18-2014, 06:56 PM #10
UniqueStranger Art in my heart
Posts:14,898 Threads:420 Joined:Jun 2012
Maybe it's all B**S**T. chuckle.gif

Anonymous Kritter Show this Post
05-19-2014, 04:28 AM #11
Anonymous Kritter Incognito Anonymous
 
(05-18-2014, 04:39 AM)ocker1 Wrote:  An interesting turn of events in Mt. Vernon, Texas...


Diamond D's brothel began construction on an expansion of their building to increase their ever-growing business. In response, the local Baptist Church started a campaign to block the business from expanding -- with morning, afternoon, and evening prayer sessions at their church.

Work on Diamond D's progressed right up until the week before the grand reopening when lightning struck the whorehouse and burned it to the ground!

After the cat-house was burned to the ground by the lightning strike, the church folks were rather smug in their outlook, bragging about "the power of prayer."

But late last week 'Big Jugs' Jill Diamond, the owner/madam, sued the church, the preacher and the entire congregation on the grounds that the church ... "was ultimately responsible for the demise of her building and her business -- either through direct or indirect divine actions or means."

In its reply to the court, the church vehemently and vociferously denied any and all responsibility or any connection to the building's demise.

The crusty old judge read through the plaintiff's complaint and the defendant's reply, and at the opening hearing he commented, "I don't know how the hell I'm going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, that we now have a whorehouse owner who staunchly believes in the power of prayer, and an entire church congregation that thinks it's all bullsh*t."

I don't care who you are that is ğkking HILARIOUS!!!!!!!
05-19-2014, 04:55 AM #12
Wicked Oblivion Member
Posts:10,778 Threads:720 Joined:Oct 2012
Does the local Baptist Church ever start campaigns to block their youth from being sent far away from home to fight and die in evil wars for oil?

Of course f###en not!

Because its not politically correct and its not socially acceptable to stand up and speak out against the governments evil war machine!

So the bible belters live in denial and demonize sexx instead!

None of us were immaculately conceived!

"We oil the jaws of the war machine and feed it with our babies" - Iron Maiden



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