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03-23-2013, 01:24 AM #1
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,383 Threads:988 Joined:Mar 2011
An old man lay sprawled across three entire seats in the theatre.

When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the old man, "Sorry Sir, but you're only allowed one seat."

The old man just groaned, but didn't budge.

The usher became more impatient. "Sir, if you don't get up from there, I'm going to have to call the Manager."

Once again, the old man just groaned.

The usher marched briskly back up the aisle, and in a moment he returned with the Manager.

Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move the dishevelled man, but with no success.

Finally they summoned the police.

A police officer arrived, surveyed the situation and asked: "All right buddy, what's your name?"

"Fred," the old man moaned.

"Where are you from, Fred?" asked the police officer.

With terrible pain in his voice, and without moving a muscle,

Fred replied, "The balcony."
03-23-2013, 01:25 AM #2
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:41,550 Threads:1,589 Joined:Feb 2011
Ouch lmao.gif
03-23-2013, 01:34 AM #3
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:30,289 Threads:1,495 Joined:Feb 2011
chuckle.gif Zombies. The Walking Fred. It all makes sense.

wonder.gif

03-23-2013, 09:58 AM #4
whaler Double Smoked Timbit
Posts:463 Threads:35 Joined:Dec 2012
One day a florist went to a barber for a haircut.
After the cut, he asked about his bill, and the barber replied,
'I cannot accept money from you, I'm doing community service this week.'
The florist was pleased and left the shop.

When the barber went to open his shop the next morning,
there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen roses waiting for him at his door.



Later, a cop comes in for a haircut,
and when he tries to pay his bill, the barber again replied,
'I cannot accept money from you , I'm doing community service this week.'
The cop was happy and left the shop.

The next morning when the barber went to open up,
there was a 'thank you' card and a dozen donuts waiting for him at his door.



Then a Congressman came in for a haircut,
and when he went to pay his bill, the barber again replied,
'I can not accept money from you. I'm doing community service this week.'
The Congressman was very happy and left the shop.

The next morning, when the barber went to open up,
there were a dozen Congressmen lined up waiting for a free haircut.

And that, my friends, illustrates the fundamental difference between the citizens of our country and the politicians who run it.

BOTH POLITICIANS AND DIAPERS NEED TO BE CHANGED OFTEN lmao.gifrofl.gif



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