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03-18-2014, 12:40 PM #1
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,120 Threads:817 Joined:Mar 2011
Brikies letter to his boss

Dear sir, I am writing to inform you why I am not at work.
Yesterday, I went to check the storm damage .... at the top of the building. ..... I found that the hurricane had ... knocked down and broken .... some bricks from the chimney. .... So I rigged up a beam ... with a pulley ... to the top of the building, ... and hoisted up ... a couple of barrel ... loads of bricks.
When I had repaired .... the chimney, ... there were ... a lot of bricks ... left over, .. as well as .. the broken ones. ..... So I hoisted the barrel up again, ... and secured the rope ... at the bottom. .... I ascended once more .... to the top of the building .... and filled the barrel .. with the extra .. and the broken bricks. ..... Then returned to the ground, ... and untied the rope.
UNFORTUNATELY, ,,, the barrel was HEAVIER than I am, ... and before I realised .... what was happening, ... the barrel started down .... jerking me off my feet, ... jerking me off my feet.
I decided to hang ON to the rope, ..... and half way UP, ... I met the barrel ... coming DOWN, ... and received a severe blow to my shoulder .... and continued up, ... banging my head against the beam, ... and getting my fingers jammed in the pulley, ... breaking two of them.
When the barrel hit the ground, ...it burst it's bottom, .... allowing all the bricks ... to spill out. ..... I was now HEAVIER than the barrel, .... and so started ... DOWN ... at high speed, .. high speed. ..... Half way down, ... I met the barrel .... coming UP, .... breaking one leg ... and receiving severe injuries ... to the other shin. .... When I hit the ground, ... I landed.. on the bricks, ... getting several painful cuts ... and nasty bruises .... from the sharp edges.
At this point, ..this point, ... I must have .... temporarily, .... lost my presence of mind, .. because I .. let go the rope.
The barrel ... the barrel, ..... the BARREL, .. then came down ... giving me another heavy blow to the head, .... so I am now ... in .. hospital.
I respectfully ... request .. sick leave.
................ Yours ........,
03-18-2014, 12:44 PM #2
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:31,582 Threads:1,443 Joined:Feb 2011
lol.gif Maybe writing with a head injury isn't the best idea.

03-18-2014, 12:46 PM #3
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:43,363 Threads:1,482 Joined:Feb 2011
lmao.gif That must have happened. rofl.gif
03-18-2014, 01:27 PM #4
The Survivor Truthtard
Posts:5,013 Threads:522 Joined:Sep 2012
That was a barrel of laughs. lmao.gif

Life is like a penny, you can spend it on what you like, but you can ONLY spend it once.


03-19-2014, 03:02 AM #5
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,120 Threads:817 Joined:Mar 2011
here's where it came from "The Dubliners "

03-19-2014, 04:53 AM #6
Ruby Wolf Member
Posts:10,786 Threads:721 Joined:Oct 2012
(03-18-2014, 01:27 PM)NODOOM Wrote:  That was a barrel of laughs. lmao.gif
03-21-2014, 05:43 AM #7
Below Average Genius Member
Posts:2,013 Threads:163 Joined:Apr 2013
A wife asks her husband, "Could you please go shopping for me and buy one carton of milk and if they have avocados, get 6.
A short time later the husband comes back with 6 cartons of milk.
The wife asks him, "Why did you buy 6 cartons of milk?"
He replied, "They had avocados."

Water in the carburetor

WIFE: "There is trouble with the car. It has water in the carburettor."
HUSBAND: "Water in the carburettor? That's ridiculous "
WIFE: "I tell you the car has water in the carburettor."
HUSBAND: "You don't even know what a carburettor is. I'll check it out. Where's the car?
WIFE: "In the pool"

25% of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness.
That's scary.
It means 75% are running around untreated.

Husband and wife had a tiff. Wife called up her mom and said, "He fought with me again, I am coming to live with you."
Mom said, "No darling, he must pay for his mistake. I am coming to live with you.

Today's Short Reading from the Bible...
From Genesis: "And God promised men that good and obedient wives would be found in all corners of the earth."
Then He made the earth round...and He laughed and laughed and laughed!...

Pray for me. hug.gif



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