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hehehe
05-29-2015, 11:23 AM #1
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,083 Threads:802 Joined:Mar 2011
A duck walks into a pub and orders a pint of beer and a Ham sandwich.


The barman looks at him and says, “ 'ang on! You're a duck."

"I see your eyes are working”, replies the duck.

"And you can talk!" exclaims the barman.

“So your ears are working, too," Says the duck. "Now if you don't mind, can I have my beer and my sandwich please?"

"Certainly, sorry about that," says the barman as he pulls the duck's pint.
"It's just we don't get many ducks in this pub. What are you doing round this way?"

"I'm working on the building site across the road," explains the duck. "I'm a plasterer."

The flabbergasted barman cannot believe the duck and wants to learn more, but takes the hint when the duck pulls out a newspaper from his bag and proceeds to read it. So, the duck reads his paper, drinks his beer, eats his sandwich, bids the barman good day and leaves. The same thing happens for the next two weeks.

Then one day the circus comes to town. The ringmaster comes into the pub for a pint and the barman says to him "You're with the circus, aren't you? Well, I know this duck that could be just brilliant in your circus. He talks, drinks beer, eats sandwiches, reads the paper and everything!" "Sounds marvelous," says the ringmaster, handing over his business card. "Get him to give me a call.”


So the next day when the duck comes into the pub and the barman says, "Hey Daffy, I reckon I can line you up with a top job, paying really good money.”


"I'm always looking for the next job," Says the duck. "Where is it?"

"At the circus," Says the barman.

"The circus?" repeats the duck.

"That's right," replies the barman.

"The circus?" The duck asks again. “With the big tent?”


"Yeah," the barman replies.


"With all the animals who live in cages, and performers who live in caravans?" says the duck.


"Of course," the barman replies.


"And the tent has canvas sides and a big canvas roof with a hole in the middle?" persists the duck.


"That's right!" says the Barman.

The duck shakes his head in amazement, and says: "What the ğck would they want with a plasterer?"
05-29-2015, 04:13 PM #2
UniqueStranger Art in my heart
Posts:15,064 Threads:428 Joined:Jun 2012
lmao.gif good one

There were a few ducks in the park blowing bubbles, and a police officer gave them a ticket. They went to court and the first duck went in to see the judge. The judge asks, "What is ur name and why are you here?" The duck said, "My name is quack and I'm here for blowing bubbles in a park." The judge said, "That's not a crime, ur free to leave. please send the next duck in." So the next duck comes in and the judge asks, "What is ur name and why are you here?" The duck says "My name is quack quack quack and I'm here for blowing bubbles in the park." The judge replied, "That's not a crime ur free to go. Please send the next duck in." So the third duck comes in and the judge says, "Let me guess ur name is quack quack quack and ur here for blowing bubbles I'm the park?" The duck says "No, my name is bubbles."
05-30-2015, 01:44 AM #3
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,083 Threads:802 Joined:Mar 2011
(05-29-2015, 04:13 PM)UniqueStranger Wrote:  lmao.gif good one

There were a few ducks in the park blowing bubbles, and a police officer gave them a ticket. They went to court and the first duck went in to see the judge. The judge asks, "What is ur name and why are you here?" The duck said, "My name is quack and I'm here for blowing bubbles in a park." The judge said, "That's not a crime, ur free to leave. please send the next duck in." So the next duck comes in and the judge asks, "What is ur name and why are you here?" The duck says "My name is quack quack quack and I'm here for blowing bubbles in the park." The judge replied, "That's not a crime ur free to go. Please send the next duck in." So the third duck comes in and the judge says, "Let me guess ur name is quack quack quack and ur here for blowing bubbles I'm the park?" The duck says "No, my name is bubbles."



rofl.gifrofl.gif



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