#Login Register

  • 4 Vote(s) - 4 Average

06-27-2018, 07:06 AM #1
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,264 Threads:930 Joined:Mar 2011
The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

---The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.

There were all the regular types of stuff: Spilled milk and pennies saved. But then the teacher realized, that only Janie was left.

"Janie, do you have a story to share?"

"Yes ma'am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy. She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.

She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn't break, and then she parachuted right into the middle of 20 Iraqi troops........

She shot 15 of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, till the blade broke, and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands."

''Good Heavens, 'said the horrified teacher. What did your Daddy tell you was the moral to this horrible story'?"

...."Don't Screw with Mommy when she's been drinking."
06-27-2018, 02:12 PM #2
Strigoi Member
Posts:1,725 Threads:89 Joined:Mar 2011
Similar has been said about me. 13.gif

Random German Guy Show this Post
06-27-2018, 02:33 PM #3
Random German Guy Incognito Anonymous
(06-27-2018, 02:12 PM)Strigoi Wrote:  Similar has been said about me.  13.gif


I believe I've read that you may enjoy moderating too much on occasion. lol.gif

06-27-2018, 05:01 PM #4
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:40,985 Threads:1,560 Joined:Feb 2011
Yeah I don't think moderation is her strongest suit batboy.jpg
06-27-2018, 06:01 PM #5
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:11,096 Threads:753 Joined:Feb 2011

I sure am glad my mom didn't drink. She was like that when sober.
06-27-2018, 06:57 PM #6
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:30,213 Threads:1,484 Joined:Feb 2011
(06-27-2018, 06:01 PM)Kreeper Wrote:  chuckle.gif

I sure am glad my mom didn't drink. She was like that when sober.

We so had the same mom. gaah.gif
06-27-2018, 07:02 PM #7
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:10,153 Threads:232 Joined:Feb 2011
well , with my Mom ,,,

Her Soap Operas came on ,,,

make sure you're miles away .

cause anything that interrupted Her during her " Soaps " time ,,,

she'd blame you ,,,

whackity whackity whack all over my Back

Fekk Soap Operas I say chuckle.gif
06-27-2018, 08:25 PM #8
Elegant Fail Member
Posts:334 Threads:14 Joined:Apr 2018
Everybody's mom is crazy to one degree or another, from a little odd about certain things to psycho.
RLK nli Show this Post
06-28-2018, 02:38 PM #9
RLK nli Incognito Anonymous
My mom is a lunatic, leaving home at 17 was a no brainer.
06-28-2018, 02:43 PM #10
Decaf Member
Posts:166 Threads:5 Joined:Apr 2018
So all of you have mother issues?

06-28-2018, 06:24 PM #11
UniqueStranger Art in my heart
Posts:14,889 Threads:444 Joined:Jun 2012
lol.gif It sure appears that way (mother issues). Recommended reading "Don't Blame Mother" by Paula Caplan.

06-28-2018, 06:33 PM #12
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:40,985 Threads:1,560 Joined:Feb 2011
I don't have mom issues really... Not saying my mother isn't crazy, but at least she was never a drinker.
06-28-2018, 10:48 PM #13
Meh Member
Posts:1,160 Threads:44 Joined:Apr 2017
chuckle.gif I've hears it said that we all become our mother. damned.gif That is the most frightening possibility I can imagine.
06-29-2018, 04:44 AM #14
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:11,096 Threads:753 Joined:Feb 2011
(06-27-2018, 06:57 PM)JayRodney Wrote:  
(06-27-2018, 06:01 PM)Kreeper Wrote:  chuckle.gif

I sure am glad my mom didn't drink. She was like that when sober.

We so had the same mom.  gaah.gif

My brother from an alien mother.

06-29-2018, 04:46 AM #15
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:11,096 Threads:753 Joined:Feb 2011
(06-28-2018, 02:43 PM)Decaf Wrote:  So all of you have mother issues?




She is medicated now and a MUCH better person.



DISCLAIMER / Terms of Service (TOS):
Kritterbox.com - Socialize anonymously, commentary, discussion, oddities, technology, music and more!  This website is provided "as is" without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied. kritterbox.com shall not be liable for any damages whatsoever, including, without limitation, those resulting from loss of use, data or profits, whether or not advised of the possibility of damage, and on any theory of liability, arising out of or in connection with the use or performance of this site or other documents which are referenced by or linked to this site.
This website exists solely for the purposes of exchange of information, communication and general entertainment. Opinions from posters are in no way endorsed by kritterbox.com. All posts on this website are the opinion of the authors and are not to be taken as statements of fact on behalf of kritterbox.com. This site may contain coarse language or other material that kritterbox.com is in no way responsible for. Material deemed to be offensive or pornographic at the discretion of kritterbox.com shall be removed. kritterbox.com reserves the right to modify, or remove posts and user accounts on this website at our discretion. kritterbox.com disclaims all liability for damages incurred directly or indirectly as a result of any material on this website. Fictitious posts and any similarity to any person living or dead is coincidental.
All users shall limit the insertion of any and all copyrighted material to portions of the article that are relevant to the point being made, with no more than 50%, and preferably less of the original source material. A link shall be visible in text format, embedded directly to the original source material without exception.
No third party links, i.e. blogs or forums will be accepted under any circumstances, and will be edited by staff in order to reflect the original source of copyrighted material, or be removed at the sole discretion of kritterbox.com.
Fair Use Notice:
This site may contain copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. Users may make such material available in an effort to advance awareness and understanding of issues relating to economics, individual rights, international affairs, liberty, science, and technology. This constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C.Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for educational and/or research purposes.
This Disclaimer is subject to change at any time at our discretion.
Copyright © 2011 - 2017 kritterbox.com