(02-02-2019, 07:19 AM)ocker1 Wrote: A dog lover, whose female dog came "in heat," was concerned about keeping it and her male separated. But, she had a large house and she believed that she could keep the two dogs apart.
However, as she was drifting off to sleep, she heard awful howling and moaning sounds. She rushed downstairs and found the dogs locked together and unable to disengage, as frequently happens when dogs mate.
Unable to separate them; perplexed as to what to do next, although it was very late at night, she called her vet, who answered in a very grumpy voice.
After she explained the problem to him, the vet said, "Hang up the phone and place it down alongside the dogs.
I will then call you back and the noise of the ringing will make the male lose his erection and he will be able to withdraw.
"Do you think that will work?" she asked.
WELL ! IT JUST WORKED ON ME !!!.
Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's, when they struck
up a conversation. The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and
said "So, why are you here?"
The yellow Lab replied, "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything....the
sofa, the curtains, the cat and the kids. But the final straw was last night,
when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."
The black Lab said, "So what’s the vet going to do?"
"Gonna cut my nuts off" came the reply from the yellow Lab.
"They reckon it'll calm me down."
The Yellow Lab then turned to the Black Lab and asked "So, why are you here?"
The Black Lab said, "I'm a digger. I dig under fences, dig up flowers and
trees. I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the
carpets, but I went over the line last night, when I dug a great big hole in my
"So what are they going to do to you ?" the Yellow Lab enquired.
"Looks like I'm losing my nuts too," the dejected Black Lab said.
The Black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked, "Why are you here?"
"I'm a humper," said the Great Dane. "I'll hump anything. I'll hump the
cat, a pillow, the table, fence posts; I want to hump everything I see."
Yesterday my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to
dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and
started hammering away."
The Black lab says "So, it's nuts off for you too, huh?"
The Great Dane said, "No - I'm just here to get my nails clipped..