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hehehe blonde
01-09-2018, 03:23 AM #1
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,144 Threads:824 Joined:Mar 2011
Trip to Italy ........
A young blonde woman from Sydney was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean.

But just before she could throw herself from the rocks, a handsome young man stopped her.

"You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Italy tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."

With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Italy , the woman accepted. That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine, and make love to her until dawn. Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.

"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me food and I get a free trip to Italy .."

"I see," the captain says.

Her conscience got the best of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me."

"He certainly is," replied the Captain. "This is the Manly Ferry"
01-09-2018, 04:22 AM #2
Fabio Incognito Anonymous
 
(01-09-2018, 03:23 AM)ocker1 Wrote:  Trip to Italy ........
A young blonde woman from Sydney was so depressed that she decided to end her life by throwing herself into the ocean.

But just before she could throw herself from the rocks, a handsome young man stopped her.

"You have so much to live for," said the man. "I'm a sailor, and we are off to Italy tomorrow. I can stow you away on my ship. I'll take care of you, bring you food every day, and keep you happy."

With nothing to lose, combined with the fact that she had always wanted to go to Italy , the woman accepted. That night the sailor brought her aboard and hid her in a small but comfortable compartment in the hold. From then on, every night he would bring her three sandwiches, a bottle of red wine, and make love to her until dawn. Three weeks later she was discovered by the captain during a routine inspection.

"What are you doing here?" asked the captain.

"I have an arrangement with one of the sailors," she replied. "He brings me food and I get a free trip to Italy .."

"I see," the captain says.

Her conscience got the best of her and she added, "Plus, he's screwing me."

"He certainly is," replied the Captain. "This is the Manly Ferry"

Bravo!!
! Very funny
!!!i like it
Grazie
01-09-2018, 09:05 AM #3
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:43,530 Threads:1,489 Joined:Feb 2011
I don't know what the Manly ferry is, but I assume it doesn't go to Italy
Anonymous Kritter Show this Post
01-09-2018, 09:27 AM #4
Anonymous Kritter Incognito Anonymous
 
blink.gif I don't understand.
01-09-2018, 09:03 PM #5
Meh Member
Posts:501 Threads:20 Joined:Apr 2017
Manly ferry is as close to an oxymoron as you can get in American English. chuckle.gif
01-09-2018, 11:59 PM #6
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:10,902 Threads:662 Joined:Feb 2011
lmao.gif

Politicians hide themselves away
They only started the war
Why should they go out to fight?
They leave that role to poor
01-10-2018, 02:57 AM #7
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,144 Threads:824 Joined:Mar 2011
Crikey yous lot the Manly ferry crosses Sydney Harbour --- dont yous lot know nuthin

https://www.manlyaustralia.com.au/info/manly-ferry/
01-10-2018, 08:55 AM #8
Fabio Incognito Anonymous
 
(01-09-2018, 09:03 PM)Meh Wrote:  Manly ferry is as close to an oxymoron as you can get in American English.  chuckle.gif

Pendular ferry
Back and forth
Like ferry from Battery Park to Ellis Island
I love blonde jokes
They are like true stories in real life
01-10-2018, 09:12 AM #9
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:43,530 Threads:1,489 Joined:Feb 2011
(01-10-2018, 02:57 AM)ocker1 Wrote:  Crikey  yous lot  the Manly  ferry   crosses  Sydney Harbour --- dont yous lot know nuthin

https://www.manlyaustralia.com.au/info/manly-ferry/

Pfft, that's local Aussie transportation chuckle.gif
01-10-2018, 02:53 PM #10
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,144 Threads:824 Joined:Mar 2011
(01-10-2018, 09:12 AM)Octo Wrote:  
(01-10-2018, 02:57 AM)ocker1 Wrote:  Crikey  yous lot  the Manly  ferry   crosses  Sydney Harbour --- dont yous lot know nuthin

https://www.manlyaustralia.com.au/info/manly-ferry/

Pfft, that's local Aussie transportation  chuckle.gif


HAHAHA You FINNally got it rofl.gif
01-15-2018, 04:45 PM #11
Cloud Atlas Member
Posts:543 Threads:101 Joined:Aug 2013
This one blonde going to New York is better :

A beautiful young model boarded a plane to New York with a ticket for the economy section. She looked at the seats in economy, and then looked into the forward cabin at the luxurious first-class seats.
Seeing that the first-class seats appeared to be much larger and more comfortable, she moved forward to the last empty seat in first-class.
The flight attendant checked her ticket and told the woman that her seat was in economy.
The blonde replied, "I'm a famous model, and I’ve never had this problem before. I'm going to sit here all the way, until we get to New York."
Flustered, the flight attendant went to the cockpit and informed the captain of the problem. The captain went back and told the woman that her assigned seat was in economy.
Again, the blonde replied: "I'm a famous model. I'm sitting here all the way to New York.”
The captain didn’t want to cause a commotion, and so returned to the cockpit to discuss the blonde problem with the co-pilot.
The co-pilot said that he was married to a blonde and knew how to take care of the problem. He then went back and briefly whispered something in the blonde's ear.
She immediately got up and said, "okay, thank you". She then hugged the co-pilot, and rushed back to her seat in the economy section.
The pilot and flight attendant, who were watching with rapt attention, asked the Co-pilot what he had said to the woman.
He replied, "I just told her that the first-class seats aren't going to New York."

“Our lives are not our own. From womb to tomb, we are bound to others, past and present, and by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future.” ― David Mitchell
01-15-2018, 04:58 PM #12
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:31,692 Threads:1,446 Joined:Feb 2011
chuckle.gif Hey ya' CA! wave.gif

wonder.gif
01-15-2018, 06:10 PM #13
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:9,625 Threads:222 Joined:Feb 2011
no

that was a Red Head dyed blond

True Blonds don't Eat Sandwiches . too fattening



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