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hehehe the golfing Nun
09-20-2016, 08:43 AM #1
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,121 Threads:817 Joined:Mar 2011
THE GOLFING NUN......... A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plonks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.

'What troubles you, Sister?' asked the Mother Superior. 'I thought this was the day you spent with your family.'

'It was,' sighed the Sister. 'And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ.'

'I seem to recall that,' the Mother Superior agreed. 'So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?'
'Far from it,' snorted the Sister. 'In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!'
'Goodness, Sister!' gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. 'You must tell me all about it!'

'Well, we were on the fifth tee... And this hole is a monster, Mother -540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg right and a hidden green... And I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made. And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted.... And it hits a bird in mid-flight!'

'Oh my!' commiserated the Mother. 'How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!'
'No, that wasn't it,' admitted Sister. 'While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!'

'Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!' sympathised the Mother.
'But I didn't, Mother!' sobbed the Sister. 'And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!'

'So that's when you cursed,' said the Mother with a knowing smile.
'Nope, that wasn't it either,' cried the Sister, anguished, 'because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!'

Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said...

'You missed the ğkking putt, didn't you?'
09-20-2016, 10:58 AM #2
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:43,370 Threads:1,483 Joined:Feb 2011
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09-20-2016, 12:46 PM #3
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:10,850 Threads:656 Joined:Feb 2011
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I heard one almost the same except it Jesus and God playing. In that version God hit the ball and it ended up falling into the hole.

Politicians hide themselves away
They only started the war
Why should they go out to fight?
They leave that role to poor
09-20-2016, 04:12 PM #4
Accidental Stoner Member
Posts:9,036 Threads:74 Joined:Feb 2011
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ohnobody Show this Post
09-20-2016, 10:44 PM #5
ohnobody Incognito Anonymous
 
'You missed the ğkking putt"
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09-21-2016, 04:52 PM #6
UniqueStranger Art in my heart
Posts:15,188 Threads:429 Joined:Jun 2012
lol.gif

I've seen many a self-proclaimed pro golfer miss the easiest putts. It was not a pretty sight to watch.
09-22-2016, 12:56 AM #7
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,121 Threads:817 Joined:Mar 2011
(09-21-2016, 04:52 PM)UniqueStranger Wrote:  lol.gif

I've seen many a self-proclaimed pro golfer miss the easiest putts. It was not a pretty sight to watch.

yeah , hey an 18" Putt, is the same as a 300yrd drive ---- It counts as ONE STROKE
09-22-2016, 03:35 PM #8
UniqueStranger Art in my heart
Posts:15,188 Threads:429 Joined:Jun 2012
(09-22-2016, 12:56 AM)ocker1 Wrote:  
(09-21-2016, 04:52 PM)UniqueStranger Wrote:  lol.gif

I've seen many a self-proclaimed pro golfer miss the easiest putts. It was not a pretty sight to watch.

yeah , hey an 18" Putt, is the same as a 300yrd drive ---- It counts as ONE STROKE



They can't see a straight line! lol.gif



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