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my father is incorrigible
01-05-2016, 08:21 AM #16
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:30,289 Threads:1,495 Joined:Feb 2011
(01-05-2016, 02:09 AM)Electric shock Wrote:  i want him to be more compassionate. and have enough knowledge of how things work, tech-wise. and have lots of patience.

I wish that about mine as well, but it's sorta' like wishing for world peace. chuckle.gif

wonder.gif

01-05-2016, 02:06 PM #17
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:11,167 Threads:770 Joined:Feb 2011
Too many possibilities here.

Quote:he just shrugegd his shoulders like "oh well thats the way it goes"

Maybe because he's in his early 80s and doesn't have time to sweat the small shit?

Quote: we used to have shouting matches a lot..and now it has resurfaced again

Who is starting the shouting matches?

Quote:the older he gets, the more moody he is becoming. although there are times when he will be calm and collected.

Fear of death? Guilt from knowing the pain you will feel when he dies? Early stages of dementia? Gas?

Yup, too many possibilities.

Embrace your dad. His time is short. Take his lead and don't sweat the small shit. It just isn't worth it. Don't spend the rest of his life wishing he was someone else. Accept who he is and work with it. Make the most of every minute together. With him in his early 80s there aren't many left.

I miss my dad too...

What politics from both sides wants to teach us is that things are never complex. If you have your little package and something doesn't fit into that package, You don't know what to make of it so you want to dismiss it or then you will have to do the work of reconsidering your assumptions. - Michael Malice
01-05-2016, 02:25 PM #18
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:41,552 Threads:1,590 Joined:Feb 2011
My dad is also in his early 80's. A couple of years ago his heart stopped all of a sudden. He was resuscitated for 45 minutes before his heart started up again. We didn't think he was going to make it, but he did. He's got a pacemaker now and is just fine. But it really did scare the hell out of the whole family. We don't sweat the small stuff, I help my parents as much as I can and try to add only positive energy into their life.
01-05-2016, 02:32 PM #19
DaJavoo If looks could kilt
Posts:1,775 Threads:45 Joined:Mar 2011
(01-05-2016, 02:09 AM)Electric shock Wrote:  i want him to be more compassionate. and have enough knowledge of how things work, tech-wise. and have lots of patience.

Oh bro, that's an easy one. Others generally mirror the behaviour they see in others. Be more patient and compassionate with him.

As for the tech thing, play to his strengths. Trust me, voice mail is nothing over which to getcher boxers in a wad. Let's face it ~ it's easy for anyone to get overwhelmed with tech changing every week and always a new app or interface to learn ~ and THAT's for folks who really WANT to use the shit.

Your dad, in his 80 years, has seen the world change several times and frankly, he's prolly feeling quite useless in today's world. But, yanno? I bet there are a lot of things HE knows how to do that you do not.

What does he enjoy (or used to enjoy) doing? Wood working? Fixing things? Reading? Music, playing or listening? Photography? Surely there is at least one thing you can help him remember the success as a man he used to feel. Forge, or reforge a bond with him that plays to one of his strengths.

You are indeed fortunate to have your Dad alive with you. As pointed out, that will not always be the case. So please, for your future memories' sake, make some good ones. Love him and help him remember the man he is.

cheers.gif
01-05-2016, 02:48 PM #20
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:41,552 Threads:1,590 Joined:Feb 2011
yup.gif

My soon to be 101 y/o Grandma has a new cell phone. She ditched the landline just a couple of months ago. She's not sending texts or has internet, but she does call everyone 13.gif Then she gets pissed off if we miss her calls or don't answer for some reason. chuckle.gif

She's moody as hell, but we will only let her know how wonderful and capable she is.
01-05-2016, 03:23 PM #21
DaJavoo If looks could kilt
Posts:1,775 Threads:45 Joined:Mar 2011
(01-05-2016, 02:48 PM)Octo Wrote:  yup.gif

My soon to be 101 y/o Grandma has a new cell phone. She ditched the landline just a couple of months ago. She's not sending texts or has internet, but she does call everyone 13.gif Then she gets pissed off if we miss her calls or don't answer for some reason. chuckle.gif

She's moody as hell, but we will only let her know how wonderful and capable she is.

Well, gee, Octo...Ya' gotta' understand it from HER pov ~ she's on the side of life that pays attention to the minutes on the meter. I mean, she's being realistic here and trying to make the most of her minutes remaining before the flag goes up on the meter. (or, on the cell phone as it were.) chuckle.gif
01-05-2016, 03:56 PM #22
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:41,552 Threads:1,590 Joined:Feb 2011
(01-05-2016, 03:23 PM)DaJavoo Wrote:  
(01-05-2016, 02:48 PM)Octo Wrote:  yup.gif

My soon to be 101 y/o Grandma has a new cell phone. She ditched the landline just a couple of months ago. She's not sending texts or has internet, but she does call everyone 13.gif Then she gets pissed off if we miss her calls or don't answer for some reason. chuckle.gif

She's moody as hell, but we will only let her know how wonderful and capable she is.

Well, gee, Octo...Ya' gotta' understand it from HER pov ~ she's on the side of life that pays attention to the minutes on the meter. I mean, she's being realistic here and trying to make the most of her minutes remaining before the flag goes up on the meter. (or, on the cell phone as it were.) chuckle.gif

Sure, it's just kinda funny. If I'm not answering the phone she'll call mom, being all pissy, asking why I'm not answering. scream.gif God love her.
01-05-2016, 04:45 PM #23
Ruby Wolf Member
Posts:10,078 Threads:719 Joined:Oct 2012
My step father, my mothers second husband, tried fixing everything with a hammer, if ya catch my figurative drift, what an idiot, who never liked me and went out of his way to threaten and verbally abuse me with demonic intensity for f###en years, because he knew that i could see right through him, his lies and his public mask, but he got what he friggin deserved, dead at fifty nine years old...
01-05-2016, 04:58 PM #24
DaJavoo If looks could kilt
Posts:1,775 Threads:45 Joined:Mar 2011
(01-05-2016, 03:56 PM)Octo Wrote:  
(01-05-2016, 03:23 PM)DaJavoo Wrote:  
(01-05-2016, 02:48 PM)Octo Wrote:  yup.gif

My soon to be 101 y/o Grandma has a new cell phone. She ditched the landline just a couple of months ago. She's not sending texts or has internet, but she does call everyone 13.gif Then she gets pissed off if we miss her calls or don't answer for some reason. chuckle.gif

She's moody as hell, but we will only let her know how wonderful and capable she is.

Well, gee, Octo...Ya' gotta' understand it from HER pov ~ she's on the side of life that pays attention to the minutes on the meter. I mean, she's being realistic here and trying to make the most of her minutes remaining before the flag goes up on the meter. (or, on the cell phone as it were.) chuckle.gif

Sure, it's just kinda funny. If I'm not answering the phone she'll call mom, being all pissy, asking why I'm not answering. scream.gif God love her.

Please, give her a hug for me! (My gram and great gram both made it past 100.)
01-05-2016, 04:59 PM #25
bohica Member
Posts:1,595 Threads:213 Joined:Feb 2011
Sometimes it's not the volume of the "shouting", but the tone.
When my "almost as old as Octo" daughter sounds like a teenager, I tell her to send the child back into the attic and bring out the adult.

I'm in my seventh decade on Earth. I know things.
01-05-2016, 05:06 PM #26
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:41,552 Threads:1,590 Joined:Feb 2011
(01-05-2016, 04:58 PM)DaJavoo Wrote:  Please, give her a hug for me! (My gram and great gram both made it past 100.)

Will do. hug.gif



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