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simple truths
03-16-2013, 08:10 AM #1
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,083 Threads:802 Joined:Mar 2011


SIMPLE TRUTH #1
Lovers help each other undress before sex.
However after sex, they always dress on their own.
Moral of the story: In life, no one helps you once you're screwed.

SIMPLE TRUTH # 2
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch her stomach and say, "Congratulations".
But, none of them touch the man's penis and say, "Good job".
Moral of the story: Hard work is never appreciated.

FIVE RULES TO REMEMBER IN LIFE
1. Money cannot buy happiness, but it's more comfortable to cry in a Corvette than on a bicycle.
2. Forgive your enemy, but remember the asshole's name.
3. If you help someone when they're in trouble, they will remember you when they're in trouble again.
4. Many people are alive only because it's illegal to shoot them.
5. Alcohol does not solve any problems, but then neither does milk.

AND FINALLY

Condoms don't guarantee safe sex. A friend of mine was wearing one, when he was shot by the woman's husband.


03-16-2013, 09:56 AM #2
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:8,765 Threads:206 Joined:Feb 2011
and further : It may take a whole Village to raise a Child ,,

but you ain't gettin' everyone involved in changin' that diaper


moral of the story : when it's your shït ,,, others should learn to not touch it
03-16-2013, 10:38 AM #3
Accidental Stoner Member
Posts:8,927 Threads:71 Joined:Feb 2011

lol.gif
03-16-2013, 01:47 PM #4
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:31,393 Threads:1,439 Joined:Feb 2011
lmao2.gif

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