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the Satnav by Pam Ayres
04-16-2015, 10:33 AM #1
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,032 Threads:791 Joined:Mar 2011
I have a little Satnav,

It sits there in my car

A Satnav is a driver's friend,

it tells you where you are.

I have a little Satnav,

I've had it all my life

It's better than the normal ones,

My Satnav is my wife.

It gives me full instructions,

Especially how to drive

"It's sixty miles an hour", it says,

"You're doing sixty five".

It tells me when to stop and start,

And when to use the brake

And tells me that it's never ever,

Safe to overtake.

It tells me when a light is red,

And when it goes to green

It seems to know instinctively,

Just when to intervene.

It lists the vehicles just in front,

And all those to the rear

And taking this into account,

It specifies my gear.

I'm sure no other driver,

Has so helpful a device

For when we leave and lock the car,

It still gives its advice.

It fills me up with counselling,

Each journey's pretty fraught

So why don't I exchange it,

And get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,

Makes sure I'm properly fed

It washes all my shirts and things,

And keeps me warm in bed!

Despite all these advantages,

And my tendency to scoff,

I only wish that now and then,

I could turn the bugger off.
04-16-2015, 11:29 AM #2
The Survivor Truthtard
Posts:5,013 Threads:522 Joined:Sep 2012
(04-16-2015, 10:33 AM)ocker1 Wrote:  I have a little Satnav,

It sits there in my car

A Satnav is a driver's friend,

it tells you where you are.

I have a little Satnav,

I've had it all my life

It's better than the normal ones,

My Satnav is my wife.

It gives me full instructions,

Especially how to drive

"It's sixty miles an hour", it says,

"You're doing sixty five".

It tells me when to stop and start,

And when to use the brake

And tells me that it's never ever,

Safe to overtake.

It tells me when a light is red,

And when it goes to green

It seems to know instinctively,

Just when to intervene.

It lists the vehicles just in front,

And all those to the rear

And taking this into account,

It specifies my gear.

I'm sure no other driver,

Has so helpful a device

For when we leave and lock the car,

It still gives its advice.

It fills me up with counselling,

Each journey's pretty fraught

So why don't I exchange it,

And get a quieter sort?

Ah well, you see, it cleans the house,

Makes sure I'm properly fed

It washes all my shirts and things,

And keeps me warm in bed!

Despite all these advantages,

And my tendency to scoff,

I only wish that now and then,

I could turn the bugger off.

facepalm_panda.gif

Life is like a penny, you can spend it on what you like, but you can ONLY spend it once.


https://twitter.com/NigelLondon2014

04-16-2015, 02:40 PM #3
Accidental Stoner Member
Posts:8,819 Threads:70 Joined:Feb 2011
lmao.gif

&

blink.gif
04-16-2015, 03:13 PM #4
UniqueStranger Art in my heart
Posts:14,898 Threads:420 Joined:Jun 2012
This is my hubby in the car, to a tee...well only up to here:

So why don't I exchange it,

And get a quieter sort?...after that I am on my own.

I always say "Shall I pull over and let you drive?". vic.gif (what is this vic emote?)
04-16-2015, 05:09 PM #5
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:42,612 Threads:1,469 Joined:Feb 2011
lmao.gif

The vic.gif is named vic after Vicious, another Canadian lady.

fkneh.gif
04-16-2015, 05:18 PM #6
UniqueStranger Art in my heart
Posts:14,898 Threads:420 Joined:Jun 2012
(04-16-2015, 05:09 PM)Octo Wrote:  lmao.gif

The vic.gif is named vic after Vicious, another Canadian lady.

fkneh.gif

Oh, yes, I seem to remember her from somewhere else...a long, long time ago. She really wasn't all that vicious, in my opinion...I don't recall her twisting the knife after it was plunged in one's back. lol.gif
04-16-2015, 07:52 PM #7
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:42,612 Threads:1,469 Joined:Feb 2011
No she's not really too vicious. She should stop by some time for a chat and hard liquor.



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