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the good wifes guide
03-14-2011, 01:54 AM #1
scrapperscrub Member
Posts:194 Threads:11 Joined:Feb 2011

Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
Be happy to see him.
Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.
Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
A good wife always knows her place.

03-14-2011, 02:03 AM #2
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:31,704 Threads:1,568 Joined:Feb 2011
Quote:Be a little gay
Seems like most guys dig that dunno.gif

Quote:You have no right to question him.

03-14-2011, 02:23 AM #3
yankees skier
Posts:6,197 Threads:224 Joined:Feb 2011
03-14-2011, 09:56 AM #4
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:43,091 Threads:1,478 Joined:Feb 2011
I think I might be a bad wife 13.gifchuckle.gif
03-14-2011, 02:55 PM #5
Shadow Mrs. Buckwheat
Posts:13,525 Threads:1,259 Joined:Feb 2011
Quote:offer to take off his shoes

Ummm. No. aaah2.gif
03-14-2011, 03:49 PM #6
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:43,091 Threads:1,478 Joined:Feb 2011

Quote:his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
yes dear vic.gif
03-14-2011, 05:10 PM #7
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:10,070 Threads:610 Joined:Feb 2011
It's not that his topics are more important. That is an illusion. It's that your topics are meaningless, trivial, psychobabble and his aren't.



And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
03-14-2011, 05:24 PM #8
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:31,704 Threads:1,568 Joined:Feb 2011
37.gif That was not me who posted this, just to let you know.

03-14-2011, 05:33 PM #9
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:10,070 Threads:610 Joined:Feb 2011
What the...

I would never post something like that...

I musta been hacked! Yeah, that's it! I was hacked and all they did was post that one, sick post! Damn them! Damn them to heck!


And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
03-14-2011, 11:27 PM #10
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:31,704 Threads:1,568 Joined:Feb 2011
37.gif Must have been what made the servers go down.

03-15-2011, 12:56 AM #11
scrapperscrub Member
Posts:194 Threads:11 Joined:Feb 2011
I think seeing as how the roles are reversed in our house,(I work and kreeper stays home) then all these rules should apply to me,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,RIGHT OCTO??hi5.gif
sooo KREEPER............

03-15-2011, 01:14 AM #12
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:43,091 Threads:1,478 Joined:Feb 2011
Ooo...I like it when you talk in CAPS hyper.gif rofl.gifrofl.gifwhip.gif
03-15-2011, 01:15 AM #13
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:31,704 Threads:1,568 Joined:Feb 2011
İmage Yeah, it's pretty ok. 37.gif

03-15-2011, 04:39 AM #14
scrapperscrub Member
Posts:194 Threads:11 Joined:Feb 2011
03-15-2011, 05:21 AM #15
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:7,555 Threads:182 Joined:Feb 2011
And remember

if your husband is anything like a GOOD husband,,,,

and you follow all the GOOD wife suggestions

your husband may be like i am::::

he will do whatever he can,,, to ignore the fact that you exist

he will never attempt to initiate a conversation with you

he will avoid long discussions with you

he will never ask you your opinion on anything whatsoever

he will sleep on the floor/couch/spare bedroom/ garage/ in his car
anywhere you are not sleeping

He will leave the house as you enter it,,, and will not enter it until you leave it.

He will remember his Dog's name,,, and,,, forget yours

he will wash his own cloths
his own dishes

clean up after himself
and screw his hand

just to avoid any contact or conversation with you



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