#Login Register


  • 6 Vote(s) - 3.33 Average
Home 


the good wifes guide
03-14-2011, 01:54 AM #1
scrapperscrub Member
Posts:190 Threads:11 Joined:Feb 2011


wtf2.gif
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
Be happy to see him.
Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.
Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
A good wife always knows her place.


rofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gif
03-14-2011, 02:03 AM #2
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:31,184 Threads:1,437 Joined:Feb 2011
Quote:Be a little gay
Seems like most guys dig that dunno.gif

Quote:You have no right to question him.
rofl.gif

wonder.gif
03-14-2011, 02:23 AM #3
yankees skier
Posts:5,898 Threads:215 Joined:Feb 2011
chuckle.gif
03-14-2011, 09:56 AM #4
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:42,494 Threads:1,466 Joined:Feb 2011
I think I might be a bad wife 13.gifchuckle.gif
03-14-2011, 02:55 PM #5
Shadow Mrs. Buckwheat
Posts:12,794 Threads:1,183 Joined:Feb 2011
Quote:offer to take off his shoes

Ummm. No. aaah2.gif
03-14-2011, 03:49 PM #6
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:42,494 Threads:1,466 Joined:Feb 2011

Quote:his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
yes dear vic.gif
03-14-2011, 05:10 PM #7
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:10,450 Threads:625 Joined:Feb 2011
It's not that his topics are more important. That is an illusion. It's that your topics are meaningless, trivial, psychobabble and his aren't.




aaah2.gif



chuckle.gif

I am not your rolling wheels, I am the highway
I am not your carpet ride I am the sky
I am not your blowing wind, I am the lightning
I am not your autumn moon, I am the night
The night
03-14-2011, 05:24 PM #8
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:31,184 Threads:1,437 Joined:Feb 2011
37.gif That was not me who posted this, just to let you know.

wonder.gif
03-14-2011, 05:33 PM #9
Kreeper Griobhtha
Posts:10,450 Threads:625 Joined:Feb 2011
What the...


I would never post something like that...


I musta been hacked! Yeah, that's it! I was hacked and all they did was post that one, sick post! Damn them! Damn them to heck!



chuckle.gif

I am not your rolling wheels, I am the highway
I am not your carpet ride I am the sky
I am not your blowing wind, I am the lightning
I am not your autumn moon, I am the night
The night
03-14-2011, 11:27 PM #10
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:31,184 Threads:1,437 Joined:Feb 2011
37.gif Must have been what made the servers go down.

wonder.gif
03-15-2011, 12:56 AM #11
scrapperscrub Member
Posts:190 Threads:11 Joined:Feb 2011
I think seeing as how the roles are reversed in our house,(I work and kreeper stays home) then all these rules should apply to me,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,RIGHT OCTO??hi5.gif
sooo KREEPER............
TAKE OFF MY SHOES,
RUB MY NECK.
COOK MY DINNER.
QUIET DOWN THE KIDS,
BE HAPPY TO SEE ME,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, BUT MOST OF ALL,,,, NOW THIS IS THE MOST IMPORTANT OF ALL THE RULES .....

GET OVER HERE AND SERVICE ME RIGHT NOW, AND YOU BETTER DO IT RIGHT OR NO ALLOWANCE MISTER!!!
rofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gifrofl.gif
03-15-2011, 01:14 AM #12
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:42,494 Threads:1,466 Joined:Feb 2011
Ooo...I like it when you talk in CAPS hyper.gif rofl.gifrofl.gifwhip.gif
03-15-2011, 01:15 AM #13
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:31,184 Threads:1,437 Joined:Feb 2011
İmage Yeah, it's pretty ok. 37.gif

wonder.gif
03-15-2011, 04:39 AM #14
scrapperscrub Member
Posts:190 Threads:11 Joined:Feb 2011
lol.gif
03-15-2011, 05:21 AM #15
Cynicalabsurdance Member
Posts:8,177 Threads:191 Joined:Feb 2011
And remember

if your husband is anything like a GOOD husband,,,,

and you follow all the GOOD wife suggestions

your husband may be like i am::::

he will do whatever he can,,, to ignore the fact that you exist

he will never attempt to initiate a conversation with you

he will avoid long discussions with you

he will never ask you your opinion on anything whatsoever

he will sleep on the floor/couch/spare bedroom/ garage/ in his car
anywhere you are not sleeping

He will leave the house as you enter it,,, and will not enter it until you leave it.

He will remember his Dog's name,,, and,,, forget yours

he will wash his own cloths
his own dishes

clean up after himself
and screw his hand

just to avoid any contact or conversation with you




Home 




 



DISCLAIMER / Terms of Service (TOS):
Kritterbox.com - Socialize anonymously, commentary, discussion, oddities, technology, music and more!  This website is provided "as is" without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied. kritterbox.com shall not be liable for any damages whatsoever, including, without limitation, those resulting from loss of use, data or profits, whether or not advised of the possibility of damage, and on any theory of liability, arising out of or in connection with the use or performance of this site or other documents which are referenced by or linked to this site.
This website exists solely for the purposes of exchange of information, communication and general entertainment. Opinions from posters are in no way endorsed by kritterbox.com. All posts on this website are the opinion of the authors and are not to be taken as statements of fact on behalf of kritterbox.com. This site may contain coarse language or other material that kritterbox.com is in no way responsible for. Material deemed to be offensive or pornographic at the discretion of kritterbox.com shall be removed. kritterbox.com reserves the right to modify, or remove posts and user accounts on this website at our discretion. kritterbox.com disclaims all liability for damages incurred directly or indirectly as a result of any material on this website. Fictitious posts and any similarity to any person living or dead is coincidental.
All users shall limit the insertion of any and all copyrighted material to portions of the article that are relevant to the point being made, with no more than 50%, and preferably less of the original source material. A link shall be visible in text format, embedded directly to the original source material without exception.
No third party links, i.e. blogs or forums will be accepted under any circumstances, and will be edited by staff in order to reflect the original source of copyrighted material, or be removed at the sole discretion of kritterbox.com.
Fair Use Notice:
This site may contain copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. Users may make such material available in an effort to advance awareness and understanding of issues relating to economics, individual rights, international affairs, liberty, science, and technology. This constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C.Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for educational and/or research purposes.
This Disclaimer is subject to change at any time at our discretion.
Copyright © 2011 - 2017 kritterbox.com