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traffic cop
08-02-2014, 01:08 AM #1
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,028 Threads:789 Joined:Mar 2011
A police officer pulls over a speeding car.

The officer says, ' I clocked you at 120 km/h, sir.'

The driver says, 'Christ, officer I had it on cruise control at 100, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.'

Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'

As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks over at his wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?'

The wife smiles demurely and says, 'You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.'

As the officer makes out the second ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth, 'F...k it woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'

The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.'

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'

The wife says, 'Now, dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt when you're driving.'

And as the police officer is writing out the third ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T You shut the f..k up?

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'



No ,----Only when he's Drunk.'
08-02-2014, 01:11 AM #2
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:42,590 Threads:1,469 Joined:Feb 2011
scream.gif
08-02-2014, 01:11 AM #3
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:31,276 Threads:1,438 Joined:Feb 2011
chuckle.gif I see my ex got remarried.

wonder.gif
failboat Show this Post
08-02-2014, 10:03 PM #4
failboat Incognito Anonymous
 
(08-02-2014, 01:11 AM)JayRodney Wrote:  chuckle.gif I see my ex got remarried.

damned.gif

is that what marriage turns people into? no way i'll marry. ever.
08-03-2014, 02:06 AM #5
yankees skier
Posts:5,898 Threads:215 Joined:Feb 2011
(08-02-2014, 01:11 AM)JayRodney Wrote:  chuckle.gif I see my ex got remarried.

rofl.gif

Biere.



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