I'm a little late for this, but what the heck and I stayed up way past midnight.
My friend at work, who is also married 30+ years as I am, came into my office yesterday spilling the beans as to her long-term marital problems. She told me that she is close to walking out the door. To my surprise some of their issues are the same as my and hubby's issues. One parent enabling an adult child to continue being irresponsible, getting on each others' nerves after living together for so long, difficulty accepting changed philosophies or outside interests, etc.
After much discussion and reflection, we both agreed that most of the arguments are about our adult childrens' (her two daughters and my son/daughter still live at home) lack of responsibility and subsequent financial burdens put upon us, as well as maybe favoritism, etc. Who is enabling who? Are adult children these days more immature (certainly moreso than we were growing up) or is it due to the economy? These are some of the questions we bandied about.
Anyway, she is going to approach her hubby from a different stance this time as to what may be the root cause of their discord. It's quite a complex issue.
Ultimately, the 100% effort from both parties is a must - every day.