#Login Register


  • 1 Vote(s) - 5 Average
Home 


wellfare
04-28-2014, 10:28 AM #1
ocker1 Member
Posts:2,083 Threads:802 Joined:Mar 2011
A GUY WALKS INTO THE LOCAL WELFARE OFFICE, MARCHES STRAIGHT UP TO THE COUNTER TO COLLECT HIS FORTNIGHTLY CHECK AND SAYS "HI...YA KNOW, I JUST HATE DRAWING WELFARE. I'D REALLY RATHER HAVE A JOB."
The social worker behind the counter says, "Your timing is excellent. We just got a job opening from a very wealthy old man who wants a chauffeur and bodyguard for his nymphomaniac daughter. You'll have to drive around in his Mercedes or his Rolls, he'll supply all of your clothes, credit cards and money. Because of the long hours, all your meals will also be provided.
You'll be expected to escort the beautiful daughter on her overseas holiday trips, you'll have to satisfy all of her needs including any
"physical" urges. You'll have a two-bedroom apartment above the garage and the starting salary is $200,000 a year"
The guy says, "You're bulls***tin' me!"
The social worker says, "YEAH, BUT YOU STARTED IT".
04-28-2014, 11:34 AM #2
JayRodney ⓐⓛⓘⓔⓝ
Posts:31,396 Threads:1,439 Joined:Feb 2011
lmao.gif That's kinda' the way it goes... sadly.

wonder.gif
04-28-2014, 01:19 PM #3
DaJavoo If looks could kilt
Posts:1,861 Threads:45 Joined:Mar 2011
İmage
04-28-2014, 01:31 PM #4
Octo Mother Superior
Posts:43,022 Threads:1,474 Joined:Feb 2011
chuckle.gif
04-28-2014, 01:56 PM #5
Accidental Stoner Member
Posts:8,927 Threads:71 Joined:Feb 2011
chuckle.gif
04-28-2014, 05:19 PM #6
Shadow Mrs. Buckwheat
Posts:12,782 Threads:1,182 Joined:Feb 2011
Frozen Crabs and the Blonde Flight Attendant

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde flight attendant to take care of them for him.

She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.

Shortly before landing in New York, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin, "Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs in New Orleans please raise your hand?"

Not one hand went up, so she took them home and ate them.


Two lessons here:

1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.

2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folk think.



Home 




 



DISCLAIMER / Terms of Service (TOS):
Kritterbox.com - Socialize anonymously, commentary, discussion, oddities, technology, music and more!  This website is provided "as is" without warranty of any kind, either expressed or implied. kritterbox.com shall not be liable for any damages whatsoever, including, without limitation, those resulting from loss of use, data or profits, whether or not advised of the possibility of damage, and on any theory of liability, arising out of or in connection with the use or performance of this site or other documents which are referenced by or linked to this site.
This website exists solely for the purposes of exchange of information, communication and general entertainment. Opinions from posters are in no way endorsed by kritterbox.com. All posts on this website are the opinion of the authors and are not to be taken as statements of fact on behalf of kritterbox.com. This site may contain coarse language or other material that kritterbox.com is in no way responsible for. Material deemed to be offensive or pornographic at the discretion of kritterbox.com shall be removed. kritterbox.com reserves the right to modify, or remove posts and user accounts on this website at our discretion. kritterbox.com disclaims all liability for damages incurred directly or indirectly as a result of any material on this website. Fictitious posts and any similarity to any person living or dead is coincidental.
All users shall limit the insertion of any and all copyrighted material to portions of the article that are relevant to the point being made, with no more than 50%, and preferably less of the original source material. A link shall be visible in text format, embedded directly to the original source material without exception.
No third party links, i.e. blogs or forums will be accepted under any circumstances, and will be edited by staff in order to reflect the original source of copyrighted material, or be removed at the sole discretion of kritterbox.com.
Fair Use Notice:
This site may contain copyrighted material the use of which has not always been specifically authorized by the copyright owner. Users may make such material available in an effort to advance awareness and understanding of issues relating to economics, individual rights, international affairs, liberty, science, and technology. This constitutes a 'fair use' of any such copyrighted material as provided for in section 107 of the US Copyright Law. In accordance with Title 17 U.S.C.Section 107, the material on this site is distributed without profit to those who have expressed a prior interest in receiving the included information for educational and/or research purposes.
This Disclaimer is subject to change at any time at our discretion.
Copyright © 2011 - 2017 kritterbox.com