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what to do about the global situation
IAmComedy Show this Post
07-12-2013, 12:48 PM #1
IAmComedy Incognito Anonymous
 
you know how it feels, when you are up on the throne, pleading for your life, and to never do any bad again, FOREVER, and then sudden, a little dingle sheep pill sized shït plops out? yeah? member those moments. you know, when that pieces of shït being inside you is like a double edge sword, and every time you bend up to look if there is blood running in the water, your insides hurt.

yes, those times. when you make all sorts of promises to god your never going to keep, and finally understand what sweating until you bleed is all about. those memory makers.

do you want to know why most toilets are small sides boxes, all over most of the planet?

its to prop your arms up against, so that you dont tear your asshole out of your body, when sincerely praying to god, for everyone is sincere before the throne. Its quite amazing actually, how a piece of shït, can be such a motivating factor.

you can always tell who has not taken a good shït in a long time. there is a certain walk about them. a certain sign. as if a thorned railing was shoved up their ass.

for anyone doubting my truthfulness on this subject, need only glance besides you and see the tears of pain on your fellow neighbors face. i see it, and have empathy upon you, peace be upon you.

Now get the ğck out of their and leave me some toilet paper

I really hate doctors. the last time a broke my neck and saw a doctor, they put a tube up my tubes, and into my bladder, yes though the years of acid make me forget the proper terminology, im sure there will be some first year med student that wont mind demonstrating. anyway, the entire procedures was so painful, and so traumatic, that my wife even asked me if i lost three inches in my head size, and what was with the string dangling between my balls.

yeah, tell me about it, i spend the last 2 nights listening about it. she even told me the carnival was more appropriate now, and im going to have to give up comedy. when i asked her what that had to do with comedy, she says i always attack her and never let her talk.

i mean really whats a guy to do ehh? so in between planning her impregnation of an alien organism, and hanging out here, theres not much left for a man to do.

aint that the truth. look at them streets...... not one ğkking prostitute, okay.....times are bad man....times are real bad... i remember back before regan, there used to be at least 5 hookers hanging out between dairy queen, and the motel 6. the even had condoms, and stayed out till morning time.

them those were the days uh huh. those were the days, plus alot of other things as well, not just wild, unadulterated, free, sex...

(booming midget voice from ceiling "be fruitful and multiply on the earth")

I have seen the light everybody. I am saved after all. Yeah.

Just another day in paradise, sniffing the roses while they are in bloom. Hmmm. They are killing the bees and the birds. DUh, they dont want us having sex. uh huh.

the only solution to this is everyone ğck like rabbits. hurry, tell aj, so he can get his mighty bullhorn and start slobbering profusely.

And while we are at it, nuke Israel, and lets settle the issue "does god exist or not", once and for all.

yeah, thats the spirit of truth.

ğck me running on barbed wire.






IAmComedy Show this Post
07-12-2013, 12:50 PM #2
IAmComedy Incognito Anonymous
 
you know how it feels, when you are up on the throne, pleading for your life, and to never do any bad again, FOREVER, and then sudden, a little dingle sheep pill sized shït plops out? yeah? member those moments. you know, when that pieces of shït being inside you is like a double edge sword, and every time you bend up to look if there is blood running in the water, your insides hurt.

yes, those times. when you make all sorts of promises to god your never going to keep, and finally understand what sweating until you bleed is all about. those memory makers.

do you want to know why most toilets are small sides boxes, all over most of the planet?

its to prop your arms up against, so that you dont tear your asshole out of your body, when sincerely praying to god, for everyone is sincere before the throne. Its quite amazing actually, how a piece of shït, can be such a motivating factor.

you can always tell who has not taken a good shït in a long time. there is a certain walk about them. a certain sign. as if a thorned railing was shoved up their ass.

for anyone doubting my truthfulness on this subject, need only glance besides you and see the tears of pain on your fellow neighbors face. i see it, and have empathy upon you, peace be upon you.

Now get the ğck out of their and leave me some toilet paper

I really hate doctors. the last time a broke my neck and saw a doctor, they put a tube up my tubes, and into my bladder, yes though the years of acid make me forget the proper terminology, im sure there will be some first year med student that wont mind demonstrating. anyway, the entire procedures was so painful, and so traumatic, that my wife even asked me if i lost three inches in my head size, and what was with the string dangling between my balls.

yeah, tell me about it, i spend the last 2 nights listening about it. she even told me the carnival was more appropriate now, and im going to have to give up comedy. when i asked her what that had to do with comedy, she says i always attack her and never let her talk.

i mean really whats a guy to do ehh? so in between planning her impregnation of an alien organism, and hanging out here, theres not much left for a man to do.

aint that the truth. look at them streets...... not one ğkking prostitute, okay.....times are bad man....times are real bad... i remember back before regan, there used to be at least 5 hookers hanging out between dairy queen, and the motel 6. the even had condoms, and stayed out till morning time.

them those were the days uh huh. those were the days, plus alot of other things as well, not just wild, unadulterated, free, sex...

(booming midget voice from ceiling "be fruitful and multiply on the earth")

I have seen the light everybody. I am saved after all. Yeah.

Just another day in paradise, sniffing the roses while they are in bloom. Hmmm. They are killing the bees and the birds. DUh, they dont want us having sex. uh huh.

the only solution to this is everyone ğck like rabbits. hurry, tell aj, so he can get his mighty bullhorn and start slobbering profusely.

And while we are at it, nuke Israel, and lets settle the issue "does god exist or not", once and for all.

yeah, thats the spirit of truth.

ğck me running on barbed wire.





07-12-2013, 12:52 PM #3
Accidental Stoner Member
Posts:8,797 Threads:70 Joined:Feb 2011

:(

Dude...

...it's been weeks...

İmage

gaah.gif



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