The old tv batman is a pretty cool character, but he's pretty messed up with his perverse idea of a masculine and scary costume. But he's not a slow guy, I mean he fights sharks when hanging from a helicopter and just in case has his anti-shark spray with him, because why not? But his behavior got me worried when he started spending time in the batcave doing batsalts. I went there to see what was up and saw the whole mess. Me: "What are you doing Batman? That's bad for your health. No, stop this madness Batman, stop now! No don't push the needle in Batman, Robin help!" Robin smoking bathsalts off of foil, nonchalantly: "No.... it feels better than it looks." Me: "I know, I made that up! Batman no! Can you hear me? You won't become any more effective at fighting by doing IV bathsalts..." Batman: "...batsalts" Me: "...BATHsalts..." Batman looking angry: "BAT-SALT" Me: "...okay! okay! batsalts... you're just fooling yourself, this will turn you into badman. Trust me, I have done a lot of drugs." Finally he got the gist of it and shed a tear, thanked me and gave me his bathsalts.

That new Batman, not the old good guy, the new badass monster of a human being Batman is angry with me because I told Robin I tricked him to get his bathsalt baggie. Now that he is up at his space station pregnant with his and Robins baby, he temporarily moves the womb into robin to come fight me, also because I've poisoned half of gothenburg, he's got swedish heritage. He'll just catapult out outside the airlock without a spacesuit or airtanks, because he's batman. He is equipped with a parachute, and because he's messed up his bladder with ketamine derivatives he jumps like Donald duck, with no pants, so he wont soil them. Robin thinks it's pretty hot. Batman lies that he's just letting his ass breathe, he picked that up from it's always sunny in philadelphia when Danny DeVito wasn't wearing pants. I think this new costume is scary as hell and am at crossroads of just to give up or run for my life, cause he's is pissed.

After some months of man-womb switches, at which the men have become pretty proficient with the help of Alfred via video-link, it's time for Batman to go into labor. He gets sweaty and groans but doesn't cry like grown up men never do. His pecker gets stretched out visibly when the birth is in progress. Robin is by his side holding his gloved hand. An leathery egg, the size of a chicken egg, hairy like a ballsack pops out. Within ten minutes it swells and grows into the size of a football. Robin: "wonder what's comin, wonder what's coming!". Out of the egg hatches a half hairy, blotched sasquatch "Waaaa!" Robin crying happy tears: "It's a boy! Just like i hoped! Oh no, it's part albino! Well, we'll just put a burkha on it and we can play soccer with him! Kiss me Bruce!" Batman: "Who told you that was my name?!" Robin: "You, and uhh, also Alfred, don't get angry please." Batman: "I'll let it slip this time, hand me the boy." He licks the baby.

Their son will go by the name of Burt-Hogan, they'll raise him in a zoo, living in a small cage with him, 3x4 meters, 5 meters high. At about two-three years old he starts throwing his parents around the cage when they're trying to etablish some boundaries. He grows to three meters tall by the age of five, sasquatches don't live long, at least not in captivity. Wiser from the experience they only keep summer sasquatches after that.

When Batman and Robins sasquatch son is two years old he starts getting tantrums an trashes his parents around the cage and throws them agaist the metal bars. When he's three years old Batman is lookin out the cage in a power stance. Robin raises his eyebrows and starts molesting Burt-Hogan. Batman hears the sound of Robins Robin-suit, sniffs the air, and turns 180 degrees in the blink of an eye. Batman: "Robin! What are you doing?! He's only three years old!" Robin: "Well he's bigger than you." Batman: "SEQURITYYY! ROYAL GUARDS, GET HIIIM!". Out of a small container office appear a small group of indian military officers. They speak pidgin english: "Hello Batman, Robin and Burt-Hogan, how are you doing today, hope no visitors have been feeding you. Read the newspaper today, just kidding, you never read." Batman: "Robin is doing the bad touch on my son!'" Guard: "Oh! I see, that's not really our area of expertise when it comes to stopping it, let's get the veterinarian man here." The vet comes, he's a muslim: "Let's see, well his testicles seem developed, and he's not screaming, it's ok, like a game." smiles and shrugs it off. The three are left alone in the cage and Batman is horrified. He grabs his bat-phone and makes a call: "Hello, this is the Bat in the bat-phone, is this the high council of the Jehowas witness? Yes? Thank you, Robin is the problem again."

That incident at the zoo is a partial reason they only keep summer animals after that. Every second year pigs, after they try eating one sasquatch for Christmas. At their Christmas table with a sasquatch with an apple in the mouth on the table Robin starts talking after a prayer: "You know Batman, that time with Burt-Hogan in the zoo, I really didn't mean for you to see it." Batman: "I can imagine that my BFF, I appreciate you telling me this. You have trauma from youth, that can be used as an explanation for any and all of your behavior, and also that time when you were doing bathsalts, you were in deep, that must have damaged your developing brains boy. I'm glad that friend was able to talk sense into you. I love you, I wish I could have raised you as one of my sons." Robin in tears: "Well you kinda have Batman. *Sniff*" Robin forms a heart with his hands and his lower lip shaking. Batman is clearly moved. Robin takes off his mask and Batman is shocked: "No! Robin put it back on at once! I don't like that!" Robin complies: "Of course Batman, however you want your wonder boy, better?" Batman with big eyes looking at robin and then around the room: "Yeah, that's better *pffft* geez! Get me some bat-schnapps."